I didn’t like practical jokes. I very rarely thought they were funny. To me, they felt mean. I knew I was in the minority, but I didn’t like to laugh at others. I didn’t like it when people made fake announcements that were supposed to be happy or shocking, and then take it all back. I found it hurtful more often than not. It made me uncomfortable.
So this day, April 1st, was one I dreaded with everything in me. I steered clear of social media. I didn’t watch TV because even self-respecting news programs got into the horrid “holiday.” I even took the day off of work, just so I could hide at home. Instead I immersed myself in a good book and ignored the world all day.
So when my phone started blowing up with text messages and Twitter and Facebook notifications, all congratulating me on my engagement, I was shocked. At first. And then I started to get wary and confused. And the more messages that came in, the more confused I got. Until it started to boil over into anger.
It didn’t take long to figure out what happened. As message after message popped up, I cautiously scrolled through my notifications until I came to the one that started it all. A tweet of a message cross posted from my boyfriend’s Facebook page. “Luke and Michael happily announce: WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!!!” with me tagged at the end and several little heart emojis.
I gasped, then choked, and then nearly threw up. How dare he do something like this? He knew how much I despised this sort of thing on this day! We weren’t some sort of April Fools joke. How could he treat us like one? My heart hurt even as my anger burbled over into rage, and I called him even knowing he’d be in the middle of his work day.
“Hey baby,” he answered on the second ring, his voice low and smooth and full of love and affection. Usually, that voice had me grinning and melting, but not today.
“How could you?!” I ground out, my temper taking over. I shoved a hand into my hair and pull at the strands. “How could you do this to me? To us? You know how I feel about this!”
“Whoa whoa whoa,” he soothed, and I heard him stand up from his desk, the rattle and bang of his chair familiar. “What are you talking about? Michael, what happened?”
“You!” I all but shouted. “With that fake announcement on your Facebook wall! What kind of shit is that?”
“What do you mean?” I heard the genuine confusion in his tone. “Was I not supposed to announce it yet? I didn’t think that would be a problem.”
I was brought up short. Then I squinted my eyes, even though he wasn’t here to see. I needed to make sure we were on the same page. “Luke, what are you talking about?”
“Last night, I asked you to marry me and you said yes. So today I posted it. I didn’t give any details. I was just so happy I couldn’t contain it and I wanted the world to know.”
“When did I ever…” I trailed off as the memory resurfaced. Of us naked and sweaty and his cum and lube drying on my skin. Of the love that filled his eyes as he pulled me in close and he said he loved me more than anything and we should get married. And me agreeing, sated and happy, snuggling in closer, content in a way only he made me feel. I groaned, and slumped back on the couch. My voice was a mere whisper when I spoke, “I thought we were just, you know, starting to talk about it. I didn’t realize it was a proposal.”
Dead silence from his end. I swallowed hard, suddenly scared I’d hurt him. I opened my mouth, ready to call his name, but he spoke first.
“Do you want to marry me?”
And I got what he was asking. He wanted to know if it was something I even wanted, if I was ready. And the truth was, I was very ready. We’d been dating for two years, exclusive and in each other’s back pockets for nearly that whole time. He got me like no one else, and even though he’d yet to reach a quarter of a century and I was past three decades, I loved the holy hell out of him. I wanted him by my side forever.
“Yes,” I said, firmly and full of conviction. “Very much so.”
His sigh of relief was loud. “Okay, well. Awesome. Good. We’re getting married. And I told the world already. So we’re good.”
I grinned, because I loved him. “On April Fools day,” I groused, only half meaning it.
He gave a low chuckle. “Yeah, I didn’t even think of it being the first. Oh well. Anyone who knows us will know that we meant it, no matter what day we announced it.”
And the truth was, he was absolutely right.