Month: December 2019

**As promised, here’s the final chapter of Cody’s story!**

The only lights were the Christmas tree, the fireplace, and dozens of flickering, electric flameless candles. I’d put them on every surface that could hold them, and it gave the living room a warm, homey glow. Friends and family sat on every available surface. Cindy was singing along with the carols playing through the Bluetooth speakers, and she had a lovely voice. The kids were shrieking with laughter. Papa Jim had gotten into the eggnog and was smiling goofily at his wife. Cole was being weird, but since he had confided he was going to propose to Marie tonight, I wasn’t surprised. The whole house was filled with the scent from the mulled cider I had warming on the stove, and laughter and conversation ebbed and flowed.

This was what Christmas was all about.

I couldn’t stop smiling, even if I wished Jake was here to enjoy it with me. But every time that thought crossed my mind, I only needed to look around and feel joy. Cole caught my eye and gave me a shaking grin. Knowing that was our sign, I flashed a thumbs up, and picked up the nearly empty cookie tray. I headed into the kitchen to fill it with Annabelle’s perfectly decorated confections. While I was there, I pulled out the bottle of champagne, and gathered up the flutes from the pantry where I’d set them earlier after I’d washed them. This way I’d be ready to pop the cork to celebrate my brother’s engagement.

Just as I was setting down the tray, Cindy wandered in. Her face was flushed, most likely equal parts wine and happiness, and I leaned over to kiss her cheek.

“How you doing, Cody?”

I smiled and moved away, then started removing the foil from the bottle.

“Okay. Good.” I sighed. “Happy and sad at the same time, you know?”

“I know. That’s the beauty of being human. We’re capable of feeling all sorts of emotions at the same time.”

I chuckled because she wanted me to. But in the back of my mind, I was wondering if I could put my foot down and insist that Jake resign his commission or somehow demand he never get deployed during the holidays again. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I dismissed it. I’d never do that to him. I’d just have to deal if it happened again. And in a few more years, it would not longer be an issue.

“You need any help with this?” Cindy asked.

“Nope.” I got the bottle open, the loud pop a satisfying sound, and offered her a huge grin. “I’m all set.”

“Okay.” She patted my arm and headed back into the other room, swaying a little with the music. She was too damn cute.

I’d just finished pouring all the glasses when Cole stuck his head through the doorway. I smiled wide.

“You ready?”

“Sure am,” I responded. “You?”

“Yep,” he said. And he did look a hell of a lot calmer. I followed him out, and watched as he walked across the room. The dead silent room. When he stopped beside Marie, I expected him to clear his throat or drop onto one knee, but he did neither. In fact, his gaze slid across the room toward the front door.

Movement caught my attention, and then I was sure I was hallucinating. Because there stood a Marine in his service uniform, cover tucked under his arm. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. Because this could not be real. It couldn’t be.

“Hey, baby boy,” my husbands deep voice came out of the Marine mirage. The Marine that had his face and his smile. And was standing in our living room when he should be half a world away.

My knees gave out, but Jake was there before I hit the ground, saving me and holding me up, just as he always did. His touch jolted me back to reality, let me know that this was really happening and I threw myself at him. Literally threw myself into his arms and climbed up him, wrapping him tight with both arms and legs.

An eternity passed and I didn’t care that it was two days till Christmas and we had a room full of people staring at us. Jake was in my arms. And then he was kissing me. With all the power he possessed, all the longing he’d built up, and I was devouring him back with that same aching need.

Eventually he had to put me down, but he didn’t let me go. He kept me flush against him and I was crying, but the only reason that bothered me was because I couldn’t see his face clearly.

I shot a look at my brother who grinned sheepishly.

“Surprise?” Cole chuckled. Then he took Marie’s hand and held it up, and the light caught the diamond on her finger. “She already said yes.”

There were shouts, maybe of glee and congratulations, but I couldn’t process it at all. It was all just meaningless sound

Jake took hold of my chin to turn my attention back to him, then used his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks. He smiled a watery smile of his own.

“How?” I managed to croak.

“I had leave, and I pulled some strings. But I wasn’t sure it was going to happen. Not when I was deployed. But I’m not a Staff Sergeant for nothing, right?” He kissed me again, quickly but full of so much heat. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to get your hopes up if I couldn’t make it work. And then even when I knew it would, I decided it would be fun to surprise you.”

“Oh Christ,” I whispered, still not able get my brain online. “Jake.”

“Yeah, sweetheart. It’s me. And I’m here for two weeks.” He gave me a crooked grin. “God willing and the creek don’t rise. Merry Christmas, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Merry Christmas indeed.

**Cody’s story, part three!**

Jake’s mother was at the door. That, in and of itself, wasn’t strange. She’d taken it upon herself to stop in on a semi-regular basis since Jake had been deployed, so we could miss and worry about him together. We’d always gotten along great anyway, and when she found out I didn’t have a mother of my own, she’d adopted me as one of her boys. She loved me even more once I married her son.

What was strange, however, was the huge box she held in her arms.

I opened he door, kissed her cheek, and tried to take the box from her. She made a noise of disgust, and I simply stepped back and allowed her to enter, a fond smile on my face.

“Whatcha got there, Cindy?”

She clomped into the house, winter boots loud on the hardwood floors, and set the box on the table before turning to me with a wide grin and a waggle of her eyebrows.

“I was feeling crafty.” She gave me a conspiratorial wink and started removing her outerwear. “And since my house is bursting at the seems, and Jim would murder me and hide the body if I made anything else holiday related, you get the spoils of my work.”

I laughed, because her husband was the gentlest soul on the planet. Papa Jim wouldn’t murder a fly, let alone his beloved wife and the mother of his children. I took her coat from her and when I returned from hanging it on the hook by the door, Cindy was already busying herself with making a pot of coffee. It was going to be a lengthy visit then. That was fine. I could do with the company.

“May I look?” I was already peeling the flaps of the box back, knowing she wouldn’t deny me. Cindy had outdone herself. The piece was full of poinsettias, evergreen boughs, and pine cones. Two red pillar candles graced the center, and baby’s breath and a dusting of fake snow and glitter gave it a shine. The wide red glass dish gave it extra elegance, and I knew each piece had been set into florist’s foam so that it could be kept watered. The woman did nothing by halves.

“It’ll look great on the table at the party on Sunday, don’t you think?”

“What party?” I asked absently, running my finger along the velvety soft leaves of one poinsettia. Then her words hit me, and I jerked back, my gaze snapping to hers. “Cindy, I–”

“You weren’t thinking of not having the party, now were you.” It should have been a question, but Cindy purposefully made it a statement. When I didn’t respond, she gave me a half smile. “The holiday party you throw for the family, and your friends, is tradition, Cody. Just because Jake isn’t home doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have it.”

“I know,” I whispered, dropping my gaze.

Cindy appeared at my side, two mugs of steaming coffee in her hands. She set them on the table, then gently took my arm and turned me to face her. I couldn’t quite meet her eyes, but she cupped my face in her hands.

“This is your favorite time of year. This party you throw? We all look forward to it every year. And you should have it, and enjoy it, because even if you do? That doesn’t mean you miss Jake any less.” Her voice grew soft, and I heard the threat of tears in the slight waver. “It doesn’t mean you’re not worried and scared for him. It doesn’t mean you don’t love him. All it means is that you’re doing your best to keep yourself together until he comes home.”

Until she said it, I hadn’t even realized that’s what I’d been doing. I missed Jake so much it was a constant ache, and it sucked celebrating without him. But more than that, I feared that if I some how didn’t spend all my time worrying about him, if I actually let myself enjoy something, it would somehow negate his absence. Or worse, make people think I didn’t love him as hard as I did, considering he was risking his life in a war zone.

I hugged Cindy tight, because she put voice to the things no one else would say. And just her reassurance made me feel better. I could love and miss Jake, worry and fret for him, and still do things that brought me joy. Cindy petted my hair and hummed tunelessly and just let me soak up her love.

Several hours and a pot of coffee later, Cindy was gone and I was sitting at the table, admiring her handy work. It was then that I noticed the spot of white that didn’t belong. And that definitely hadn’t been there before.

My hands shook as I freed the envelope and I almost couldn’t get the damn thing open.

Hello love,

Mom is working her special brand of magic for me. I asked her to put this together, and to give you this note, so you remember that the holidays are about togetherness and joy, family and friends, even if your husband is half a world away. Take plenty of pictures and spam my inbox with them. If Dad gets into the eggnog again, make sure you get video. He’s the most affectionate drunk I’ve ever seen. Party hard, sweetheart. Celebrate the season. Go all out. This is harder on you than it is on me. I miss you like crazy, but at least I have my platoon and the structure of the Corp to keep me from going insane. I’ll be home as soon as I can.

I love you,

Jake

I cried, but there was some happy mixed in. Jake never failed to make me smile, even from thousands of miles away. He’d be home eventually. And until then, I’d have to muddle through some how.

I laughed at myself, turned on the carols, and started making a list. I had a party to plan

**Here’s the next installment in the tale of Cody and Jake!**

I didn’t get much time to talk to Jake, so when he was available, I was glued to my phone. Calls weren’t usually an option, but we had an app that allowed us to message. He was the only one I talked to on it, so my body was cued in to the alert tone. It could wake me from the dead of sleep, or pull me from a work zone out. Which meant I never missed the opportunity to talk to him, since we were working on his schedule.

Being deployed meant he was twelve hours ahead of me in time zone, and busy as hell. When Jake was available, I wanted to be able to speak to him.

But inevitably, the conversations got cut off with him saying abruptly he had to go. Almost always. I expected it, but it was still disappointing when it happened. Tonight had been especially hard, since we’d only gotten a little more than an hour. I tossed my phone onto the coffee table and buried my face in my hands. I wouldn’t cry, but I was frustrated and sad. I missed him so badly. And even though I hated that our conversations were often cut short, at least I knew he was alive and well. That’s what mattered.

“Cody!” The deep voice registered in my brain a second after I realized the front door had opened. I knew I locked it which meant my brother had used his key.

“What are you doing here?” I griped. “And you could have knocked.”

Cole just grinned, and shook something at me. It took a second to recognize my jacket. “Come on. Get bundled up.”

I scowled. “No. What?”

“Yes,” he said, that grin growing even wider. “We’re going to Lights on the Lake. It’s one of the walking nights and we’re going.”

I groaned and flopped backward. No way was I going. It wasn’t that I didn’t love it, because I did. Every year, the Parks and Rec department set up the animated light show along the parkway that ran next to the lake. Most of the time, it was for cars to drive slowly along, with Christmas carols playing on the car’s radio. A few times during the season, they opened it for pedestrians. It was bitterly cold, but so much fun to be walking through the lights.

But I wouldn’t do it without Jake.

“No. Cole, come on. It’s too cold. It’s probably icy. I don’t want to.”

Cole wouldn’t be dissuaded. He was bigger than me, and spent far more time in the gym, so it was easy to grab my arm and haul me to my feet. I protested again and shoved him hard, but he only stumbled back one step. I turned away, but before I could get far, my brother snagged me in a hug.

“I know it sucks, Cody. But come on. You could use a little cheer, and I know deep down you want to.”

“It’s not the same,” I whispered.

Cole squeezed me tightly, then stepped back. “I know. But do it anyway. This is your thing, man. Miss him under the lights, okay?”

I still didn’t want to, and I almost flat out refused. Cole might be pushy–he was my older brother and it was in his job description–but if I really put my foot down, he’d listen. But the look on his face, even when he was trying to grin, let me know he was worried about me. And he had reason to be. I wasn’t myself. How could I be when my heart was half a world away?

So I put on my coat, mittens, scarf, and hat. I pulled on my warmest boots. And I climbed into his monster of a truck for the fifteen minute drive to the lake. I even managed a half smile when he bought me a peppermint mocha and joined the throng of holiday merry makers walking down the path.

As the minutes passed, and the lights twinkled, and the music played, some of my sadness lightened. I would still rather be here with Jake, but watching the kids screech and point as the lights did their thing, exclaim over the jumping reindeer and the dancing trees, hearing the absolute joy that infused the cold, crisp air, something loosened in me and I felt a bit of that holiday spirit creeping in.

We made it to the turn around point, where we’d walk back to the cars through a different set of lights. My breath seized in my lungs as Cole pulled me to a stop. This display had been added last year, a unicorn dressed as Santa, climbing down a chimney. It’s mane was red and green, and it’s horn sparkled gold. I remembered seeing it for the first time with Jake last year, and kissing him hard right on this spot as joy filled me.

Tonight it made me want to cry.

Cole cleared his throat, tossed an arm around my shoulders, and handed me a letter. I cocked an eyebrow at him, but he just tugged me a little closer to the display so that I could read by it’s light.

Oh Sweetheart,

If you’re reading this, then your brother feels you could do with some holiday cheer. I’m so sorry I’m not there with you this year. I know how hard it is. But remember how much fun you have, looking at the lights? You don’t need me there to enjoy it. It’d be better if I was, for both of us. I can’t be there to feel the cold and see the snow, I’m not there to watch the lights dance in your eyes. So enjoy it for both of us, and when I come home, I want to hear all about it. About how everything feels like magic and holiday cheer. You’ve gotta Christmas for both of us, baby boy. Don’t let me down.

I love you,

Jake

I laughed even as I choked on a sob. He was so good at the subtle guilt, but he did it because he knew I needed to hear it. I needed to be reminded he was keeping our country safe while I was at home, pining. So I took a deep breath, and forced myself to take it all in. Cemented it all in my mind so that once he was home, after I kissed him senseless and we spent three days in bed, I’d be able to tell him all about the magic of the lights.

He was counting on me.

**Follow along this December as we watch Cody get his Christmas Miracle. Four part series coming your way, with the first three being the Fridays, and the final installment on Christmas Eve**

Normally I loved the holidays. From Halloween to New Year’s, I celebrated everything I could. I went all out with the pumpkins, cobwebs, and ghosts at the end of October, which transitioned into nicely more pumpkins, mums, and gourds for November. Then the snowflakes, snowmen, bells, stockings, garlands, and elves came out on the day after Thanksgiving and carried me into December. The tree went up the first weekend of the month, and carols filled my house. And then I left it all up, but added sparklers and streamers for the last day of the year.

But this year, things were different.

Jake and I had been together for nine years, and this wasn’t the first time he’d been deployed. And usually I used my love of the holiday season to keep myself upbeat and occupied. But it was the first time since we married three years ago. And that made it feel different in ways I’d never anticipated.

I knew being a Marine husband was hard. I’d been doing it in one capacity or another since Jake and I first started dating. I’d been with him as he came out to his platoon as bi, and was there by his side, nervous as hell, as he finally introduced me to his brothers in arms. It hadn’t always been easy. Nothing worth having ever was. But we’d made it through all of the hard times and we were happy.

Jake was nearing his twenty years, and he’d been stationed here for the past five. I thought, maybe naively, that we were in the home stretch. He had his job on base that he excelled at, and his CO was more than happy to keep him around. Retirement was still officially two years away, and Jake wasn’t even sure yet if he was going to muster out when he hit his twenty years. We were still talking about it. I wanted him to, but he loved being a Marine, and I wasn’t going to stand in the way of that. I never would.

When the orders came through that his platoon was being deployed, my heart sank. I hated being apart from him for such a long stretch. He’d been gone for nine months, and I just didn’t have it in me to celebrate without him. I’d halfheartedly put up some of my fall decorations, but I hadn’t felt it in my soul. And now it was the sixth of December, and I hadn’t changed to my Christmas/winter decorations.

I was feeling it especially hard today as my cubicle mate had been playing carols all day. So by the time I got home from work, the melancholy had settled in deep. I was moping so hard, I almost didn’t see the package waiting for me on the doorstep. Knowing I hadn’t ordered anything, I picked it up cautiously. But it had my name on it, and the black swoop-smile on the side of the box let me know it was probably safe.

Once inside, I set it carefully on the table by the door, took off all my winter gear, and then picked it up and padded in my socked feet to the kitchen. The tape came off easily, and inside was a crystal star. It was gorgeous, the way the facets caught the light, and I gasped at it’s sparkle.

The note was at the bottom.

Hi baby boy,

I know this year is going to be super hard on you. Me too. I want to be with you, to watch your face light up in joy as the holidays approach. To experience your happiness. But I can’t this year. So instead, I’m sending you something I know will put that look on your face, and that spirit in your heart. When you put this on top of the tree, when you see it there every day, know that my heart is there with you and I’ll see you as soon as I can. Enjoy the holidays, sweetheart. Even if I can’t be there with you.

I love you,

Jake

The tears were involuntary but I smiled through them. Carefully placing the tree topper back in the box, I scrambled to the storage space to pull out all the decorations and get busy. I needed everything up and decorated so I could put Jake’s thoughtful gift on the tree and feel his love.

He wanted me to, so I would.