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So it turns out that I couldn’t take the whole month off from writing. I lasted about a week. And then suddenly, the words were bursting to get out again. Seems like once I took the pressure off myself, told myself that I didn’t HAVE to, something unblocked within me and the words started flowing again. Who knew?

Well a few people actually. Seems they thought that once I stopped being so hard on myself, things would get better.

So I’m working on a novella and a short story. One has a deadline for a sub call, one doesn’t. They both have elements inspired by my real life. And it all seems to be working. Between the two, I’ve written more that 14k and it feels really good.

And of course the flash fics. 🙂

Tune in next week for my addition to the Flash Fic Holiday Blog Hop and follow the link to all the others!

I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure lately.  A lot of “have to” instead of “want to.”  The stories that I’ve tried to tell have not been working well.  I’ve been unhappy with the words I’ve been putting on the page.  What I want to say is not coming through clearly. My characters aren’t cooperating.  I’ve begun and abandoned about three different things.  It’s a terrible rough patch.  And I’ve decided to take a wee break.

Because I’m not feeling the love of the story, or my boys, and it  makes the writing tedious and trite and forced.

It’s hard to take a step away.  Writing is one of those things that drives me, that makes me whole.  The voices in my head need somewhere to go.  But I’m not feeling it, and so I’m unhappy with my words.  I tried to keep writing anyway, but that wasn’t working.  So the only other option is to walk away.

But just for a bit.  Now that the pressure is off, I feel a weight has been lifted.  So I’m going to ride this for a little while, and let my brain rest, and take the time to improve on the technical bits about writing.  And I’m confident that when my little hiatus is over, I’ll be able to jump back into writing with the passion I’ve had in the past.

Flash Fic’s are still going to happen.  You’ll still see them here every Friday.  And of course, the lovely and exciting Flash Fic Holiday Blog hop  story will go up as well.  I’m so excited about that I can barely contain myself.  And my novella, Pumpkin Rolls and Porn Sounds will release in a couple of months.  And that is thrilling beyond belief and I hope that y’all love Will and Joshua as much as I do.

But in the meantime, a step back, so I can get that lovin’ feeling back again.

Hey y’all!

Don’t forget we have this lovely and fun thing going on.  Sign up and be a part of the Flash Fic Holiday Blog Hop!  You don’t have be an author to participate, just a lover of stories, and have one to tell yourself.  You don’t even have to have your story already written.  You’ve got plenty of time.

Sign up runs through tomorrow, October 31st, at midnight.  Then you have a good solid month to write your story, tweak and make it look awesome, before you post it sometime during the first week of December.  It can be posted to your blog, tumblr, your story section on Goodreads, or you can get hosted by me, Thorny, or LC if you have none of the above.

It’s going to be fun and awesome, and you know you want to join in.  Just click the link at the bottom of this post and you’ll be taken right to where you can add your name to the list!

Feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns! (kristbethke at gmail dot com or use the contact form at the top)

Yeah.  I’m one of those people.  The kind where confidence comes from others, not within myself.  I’m working on it, I am.  But right now it’s validation that lifts me up, and keeps me solid.

Recently, a couple things happened to shake my confidence to the core.  And for a minute there, I was ready to just give up.  But it only lasted a minute, and though everything is still shaky, it’s a little more solid.  You know, like Jell-O.  It’s wobbly but it’s holding it’s shape.

I’ve been repeating my mantra.  I’ve been talking to my close people about my feelings, and thoughts, and new plot ideas.  And even though focus seems to be an issue right now, I have been writing anyway.  The flash fics, as well as some other things.  My slave driver dear sweet friend has been pushing me to put words on the page, no matter what they are, as long as I write.  He’s also telling me to fucking focus, but he’s kind enough to not say it often, because he knows I know.

The good thing is that I am, slowly and surely, getting to the point where I can view this as a life lesson.  Where I can look at it and see it’s something that makes me stronger and more determined.  It’s a good thing, in the long run, though I still don’t feel quite that way yet.

For the moment, I’m just proud of myself that even though everything is shaky, I’m still doing what I love.

And speaking of…

Don’t forget the Flash Fic Holiday Blog Hop!

I’m one of the three masterminds behind the Flash Fic Holiday Blog Hop!

Thorny Sterling and I had such an amazing time with our photo inspired short stories, and were so intrigued by the differences we came up with between just the two of us, that we wanted to see what a whole bunch of writers might come up with using the same photo.  And then we thought: what better time to offer free stories then at the holidays?

We absolutely had to pull LC Chase in to help us get this done–she has awesome ideas and is a photo-inspired writer too–so here’s what the three of us came up with.

All stories must be inspired by this photo:

I’m giddy.  I am.  See, my first stand alone novella Pumpkin Rolls and Porn Sounds, is in production and, though I don’t have an exact release date yet, I know it’ll be released sometime in the January/February area.  I’m really excited and really nervous about it.  I desperately hope that you adore Will and Joshua as much as I do.

It’s been a while in the making.  I signed the contract back in May.  Production has only really just begun in the last month or so.  And the funny thing is, I’ve sort of forgotten a bit about them because I wrote it a good ten months ago, and I’ve been working on other things in the meantime.  But every once in a while, they sneak back into my head, and I can’t help but grin.

But it’s a lot more real to me now. Edits will be rolling in soon so I can shine these boys up and make them the best they can be.  And the cover art production is ready to begin.  This part is incredibly exciting and nerve wracking.  I love covers.  I’m drawn to them.  But having to put into words what my cover should feel like, and then turning it over to a wonderful artist to create…well, that’s not an easy thing.  I feel pressure to get the word right so that an artist can work their magic.

I basically waffle back and forth between pure elation that my book is going to be out there, and sheer terror that I’m not going to get it right.  But I’m working with some amazing people, and it’s going to be great when I get to the end.

And while that’s going on, I’m waiting to hear about another novella, and I’m working on something new.  All in all, despite the roller coaster of emotions, I’m pretty dang happy.  Because ever since I was little, this is what I wanted to do.  I wanted to write, I wanted it to be published, I wanted people to enjoy my stories.  And it’s happening.

A little over a year ago, I got my first acceptance.  My first short story was published December 1, 2013. And now, my first stand alone is being made to shine.  It really is a dream come true.

There’s this weird thing that’s been happening lately.

I have this friend (wonderful and amazing) who has been giving strange challenges for the flash fics. This past Friday was his challenge, and so are the next four Friday’s. It’s a hell of a lot of fun for me and I am enjoying it very much. And for the first time since I started this blog a year ago, I’m not scrambling on Thursday night trying to get a fic written, or worse, trying to even think of something to write. I’ve got them all written and ready to go for the entire month.

And the weird and wonderful thing is that it’s lifted a weight I didn’t even realize I was carrying. And suddenly, I’m able to focus on my WIP in a way I never have before.

It’s awesome. And I’m so pleased with how the writing is going right now that I can’t even put it into words. After the slump, I don’t feel the pressure and I’m enjoying myself again. And really, shouldn’t that be what it’s all about?

So I hope you’ll tune in Friday’s this month to see all the little fics that were born from challenges. And I’m hoping to have another first draft done by the end of the month as well.

I haven’t wanted to fully admit it but I’ve been in a writing slump the past couple of months.  Sure I said there was a block, and I admitted to having trouble.  But now I see that it was a real honest to goodness slump.  Yes, I’ve been writing the flash fics, often with help from other people who were presenting me with the prompts and the challenges and the inspiration.  But on the actual working on an MS front?  Nothing.  I got a few words in, twice I started something and got quite a few words, and then…it fizzled.  And I was trying to force it anyway but…

It was the post finished MS mourning period, and I didn’t give it enough time.  I tried to jump into something new too early.  And I wasn’t quite ready to let things go yet, I think.

But I’m writing again.  I’m excited about writing again.  And that feels awesome.   So the flash fics will keep coming, and the new story will keep being written.

Eventually, I need to figure out how to mourn faster.  But for now, the mourning period is done, and there are new boys striving for their HEA.  And that is good.

I’m pretty lucky in that when I sit down to write, the words flow fairly smoothly.  It might only be for an hour or two, but when I’m writing, the words come out of my fingers with seemingly little direction from me.  Then I eventually hit a point where they stop flowing, and that’s where i call it quits for the night.  That’s not to say that it isn’t work, just that it’s pretty easy for me to get the words on the page.

Except when it isn’t.

It doesn’t happen often, and when it does, I don’t know how to handle it.  I’m working on my latest WIP and I’ve put roughly 300 words on the page in the last two day.  I’ve fought for every single one of them.  I’m not sure if the problem is with me or with the story, but my writing mojo is lagging right now.  And the thing that frustrates me the most is that I can see so clearly what is next, what I want to write, and yet, the words are just not flowing.

I’m failing in this assignment and it’s pissing me off.

But I’m not going to stop trying.  I have to wander off to the day job, but when that’s done, I’ll be back at this computer, pounding away at the keyboard, trying to make my guys come to life.  It’s just a rough patch.  And I can make it through.  I hope.

Anyone have any advice for breaking writers block?  My usual methods don’t seem to be working.

Sometimes, unfortunately, life gets in the way of the words.  I try to write anyway, no matter what’s going on, but sometimes…well, sometimes it’s just not possible.

Last week, there was stuff going on in my life, some stressful stuff, and I couldn’t concentrate on much of anything else.  Thing were neglected.  And I let them be.  I had to, or else I would have a bit of a breakdown.  And no one wants that,   So I didn’t write anything, though I still did a bit of brain plotting in the quiet times.  I didn’t even write posts last week because I just…couldn’t.

And even though this week is shaping up to be more of the same, it’s at least a bit less stressful, and I can refocus.  I spent the weekend catching up and getting ahead on some of my responsibilities so I can focus my attention again on where I want it to be.  Eight hours a day are taken up by work, and they have to be, but the rest of the time, that’s mine.

I’m working on something new, and I’ve barely broken ground.  I already realize a bit that needs to be fixed.  And that’s good.  I can do this.  I got this.

I just had to remind myself that it’s okay, once in a while, to ignore the writing, and to focus on other things.  I’m adept at working on works in progress, and sometimes the WIP is me and not what I’m writing.  Last week was solely about me.  This week, I can get back to focusing on the bigger picture.  And I’m looking forward to it.