Day: July 24, 2015

**Okay!  Back to the boys this week…with an Emmy nomination.  I’ll admit, I took a little liberty with this one and didn’t research how nominations were announced, but this made sense to me.  Enjoy some more Aaron and Lucas!**

It was early, but I was glued to my television screen.  Any second now, they would make the announcement  Any moment and I’d see who was nominated for the prime time Emmys.  I had high hopes. I could feel it in my bones.  This was going to be the year, I just knew it.

Suddenly, between one blink and the next, they began.  I only half paid attention as they started announcing, not caring who was nominated in most of the beginning categories.   I only half paid attention as they announced Lead Actor.  I was uncharacteristically antsy, but I was waiting for Supporting Actor and…there it was.  Just like I knew it would be.  I couldn’t contain the grin.  I was so proud I felt like I’d burst.

I got up from the table and all but ran into the bedroom, scaring the cat badly enough that he hissed at me.  I ignored him and pounced on the bed, waking my boyfriend with a sloppy kiss.  He grumbled and tried to turn over, but I wouldn’t let him.  I released a happy laugh and shook him until he opened his eyes.

“Aaron, baby.  You did it!  You got the nomination!”

He blinked.  Smacked his lips.  Closed his eyes again.  “That’s nice.”

I stared at him in shock and gave him another shake.  “Nice?  Aaron!  You’ve been nominated for an Emmy.  Aren’t you excited?”

I could tell by the way he was breathing, how he held his body, that he was no longer even remotely sleepy.  He was just pretending as he turned his face into the pillow and muttered, “Sure am.”

Okay then. I slid to the side until I could lay down next to him, snuggling up and getting really close.  Aaron carefully didn’t not move until I was right in his face, and then he turned his head, laughing a little and muttering about morning breath.  But I didn’t care about that and he knew it.  I pressed up against him and waited for him to release that sigh that let me know he knew I wasn’t going anywhere.  When it came, I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Talk to me,” I said softly.  “I thought you’d be thrilled.”

“I am,” he responded just as quietly.  He offered me a small smile.  “And nervous.  And scared.  And overwhelmed.  And a bit sad.”

All of those emotions made sense, except for the last one.  Waking him from a dead sleep, especially after the night we’d had, made it more difficult for him to process them too.  I knew that.  So I didn’t worry about everything he was feeling.  He’d have time to work them all out.  But the sadness?  That I needed to deal with right now.

“Why sad?”

Aaron averted his gaze, and his legs twitched.  I waited, staring at him, knowing that it would make him break faster.  After just a minute or two, he cleared his throat and turned his wide gray eyes to mine.  His voice was barely more than a whisper when he admitted, “Because you can’t go with me.”

My heart squeezed tight even as my stomach dropped.  There was a part of me that wanted to give him what he wanted.  To stand up and proclaim our relationship to the entire world.  But I couldn’t do that. Not if I wanted to keep my career on the path it was.  Not yet.  The world was changing, and it was about fucking time, but it wasn’t there yet.  Someday, I knew I’d be able to be out and proud.  But it wasn’t that day yet.  Even as these thoughts ran through my head, I felt a niggle of anger.  Because Aaron had sworn up and down that my staying in the closet wouldn’t be a problem for him.  Before that feeling had a chance to take root, Aaron rolled into my arms and pressed his face against my neck.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly and full of feeling. “I’m sorry, Lucas.  I didn’t mean that like it sounded. I’d love for you to be there of course, but I don’t blame you for not being able to.”

I cut off his babbling by kissing him hard.  I knew he was sincere, and it was easy to forgive him.  Really, there was nothing to forgive.  Aaron’s body melted against mine and I held him tightly.  Eventually, I pulled back far enough so that I could look into his eyes.

“You deserve this, baby.  And I’m so proud of you.”

He grinned for me then.  “Thank you. You’ll be waiting for me to get home?”

I waggled my eyebrows.  “I’ll be naked and ready to celebrate.  We’ll start a tradition, for every award we win in the future.”

“Sounds like a good deal to me,” Aaron said with a laugh, his entire face just lighting up with glee.  He dropped his forehead until it rested against mine.  “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” I responded, kissing him again.  I put everything I felt into it, making it a silent vow.  Someday I’d stand next to him on the red carpet, and it would make our wins all the sweeter.  Until that day, this would be enough.