Day: November 22, 2013

I had been in a meeting all morning so I hadn’t been able to check the text when my phone vibrated in my pocket.  Finally free, I pulled my phone out and thumbed in the password while I walked back to my desk.  I saw it was from my boyfriend and smiled.  Until I actually read the text.

I learned today that I like girls.

What?  That didn’t make any kind of sense.  He was  as gay as I was and had known it since he was seven years old.  I smirked, thinking it was some kind of joke.

Really? I sent back.  A couple of minutes passed before I got the response.

Mhmm.

Still assuming he was yanking my chain, or that he would have a funny story to follow, I played along.  Is that so?  You got anyone in mind?

He didn’t respond.  For the next two hours, I obsessively checked my phone, waiting for him to write back.  The longer it went on, him not responding, the more I started to freak out.  Had he been serious?    Had he actually discovered that he liked girls?  Was he trying to tell me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore?  I started to get angry.  If that was the case, it was a shit thing to tell me over text.  I thought we were closer than that!  Sure, we’d only been dating for nine months, but the last six we’d been exclusive.  I thought we were building something special together.  And now he was just throwing that away by telling me he liked girls over text message?!  I was all I could do not to call him and demand answers right that second!

I nearly had a heart attack when my phone finally vibrated again.  I snatched it up.

What?

What what? I wrote back.  I hoped he could tell I was seething with anger just by my words.

Do I have anyone in mind for what?

The snort that escaped was not amused.  For the girl you like.

There were just a few seconds of silence before a new message popped up.  I like girls???!!!???!!!

Wha?  He seemed genuinely surprised by that, if the excessive punctuation was anything to go by.  I scrolled back up through the messages until I got to the first one he sent.  My face turned red and I started laughing as quietly as possible when I read what he had actually wrote.

Ha!  You said grits!  Not girls!

The phone started ringing in my hand.  I turned my back to the rest of the office so that I could answer it.  It all seemed incredibly funny now that I knew I had read the word wrong.

“You seriously thought I suddenly started liking girls?” he growled.  I couldn’t contain my grin.

“I’m sorry.  I guess I forgot how to read.  This whole time–grits, not girls!” The laughter started bubbling up again and I pressed my knuckles to my mouth to keep it inside.  Some of my coworkers were on the phone with customers and it wouldn’t do for them to have to explain why there was suddenly hysterical laughter ringing through the office.

He gave a heavy sigh.  “And knowing you, you were all kinds of pissed off, thinking I made some huge revelation over text.”

He was right, of course.  But I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.  “Hey!  This was a big revelation.  Grits!  You like grits!”

“Christian,” he said, his tone full of warning.  I barely contained the whimper.   I loved it when he got firm and growly.  It never failed to get me hot and bothered.  I wiggled in my seat a little and started  going over the projection reports in my head to get things to go down.  It wouldn’t do to sport a hard-on at work.

“Yes, sir?” My voice was a little breathy.  It couldn’t be helped.

His answering chuckle was downright seductive.  I rolled my chair forward until my lap was hidden under the edge of my desk and spread my knees to give myself a little room.  I really needed to hang up the phone and go back to the reports.  There was nothing sexy about spreadsheets.

“When I get to your place tonight, I’ll show you just how much I don’t like girls,” he promised.  He knew exactly what he was doing and he was making it worse on purpose.  I really did whimper then.  He gave another low, delicious laugh and hung up.  I thunked my head down on the desk and breathed through my nose, trying to calming my raging libido.  Once I had myself back under control, I sat up again and smirked before I sent one last text.

I’ll make sure to have grits.