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Blargh

I’m at that point where my plot is full of holes.  I have the beginning.  I know, of course, where they will end up.  And I have about four scenes in the middle.  I know what begins to bring them together.  But how they get from where they are to where they need to go?  THAT part right there is giving me some trouble.

Yesterday was kind of a mess.  Work was UTTERLY insane, just one thing after another after another.  There’s still more snow.  One of the cars was stuck in the driveway.  Just…Murphy’s Law seemed to be in full effect yesterday and I didn’t even spare my boys a thought.  And I feel sort of bereft about it.

But today is a new day.  Today there is no new snow falling and the forecast says there shouldn’t be any sneak attack snow.  I’m hoping.  I need to refocus and regroup.  I have much to write.  There are the flash fics for March demanding my attention.  And the new boys calling my name.  I’m working on an easy pattern for a scarf that should allow for my mind to wander and really plot without messing anything up. And my sister and I are talking about taking a weekend away, not going far, but just getting away and doing nothing and relaxing.  It’s something we both need, and a change of scenery might do me some good.  As long as the hotel has wifi, I’m good. 🙂

At any rate, I definitely have the winter blahs.  It’s not something that usually happens to me.  Because, let’s face it, where I live winter is a given.  And there’s nothing that can be done to stop the weather.  It is what it is. Usually, I take it in stride and deal with it, and don’t complain too much.  But it’s been way colder than normal for longer than normal, and the snow keeps happening, and it’s depressing.  I’m ready for spring.  I’m ready to be warm again.

But March is just around the corner, and it is my very favorite month.  The snow won’t completely end, but it’ll warm up some and it’s the beginning of spring.  With March, we’ll get a change, and that is what I need most of all.

But for now it’s off to the evil day job, and doing that to the best of my abilities before I come home and focus on the joys in my life; writing and reading and yarn.  And to hopefully produce something good, something worth your time and my effort.

Flash Fic Friday

Flash Fic Friday

**More Joshua and Will for you.  They continue their journey here with a missed date, a make up gift, and rain.  Enjoy!**

The temperature had unexpectedly warmed and while the forty-five degree weather was a nice surprise, the pissing down rain left much to be desired.  It was melting the snow, and that was good.  But it was still cold enough to chill me to the bone, and I was fucking drenched.  I’d run out of gas—which had never happened to me before—and I’d had to walk five blocks.  I was soaked, and coupled with the fact that I’d been held up at the office for two extra hours rewriting an opinion, I was also miserable.  I just wanted a hot shower, warm clothes, and snuggle time on the couch with my man.

I was shivering hard when I finally made it through the front door, and I started peeling off clothes right in the entryway.  No sense in tracking all that water through the whole house.  I was half out of my pants when Joshua appeared.  I opened my mouth to tell him about my miserable day so he could make it better, but I snapped it closed when I saw what he was wearing.  The three piece suit in charcoal gray with the light blue shirt and gray and blue tie was something he only pulled out on special occasions.  Like tonight was supposed to be.

I closed my eyes and groaned.  How could I have forgotten?  We were supposed to go out for a fancy dinner, just the two of us.  I was two and half hours late, and our reservation had been more than an hour ago.  I’d missed it.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out, feeling the shame heat my skin.  At least I was no longer shivering.  I let the pants drop to the ground.  “I’m so sorry.”

Joshua just stared at me, his face impassive.  But I could see the sadness and disappointment in his eyes.  “What happened?”

“I had to work late, and…” I trailed off, shaking my head.  “I spaced.  The judge needed an opinion rewritten and I completely forgot about our dinner.  I didn’t even think to call.  There’s no excuse.  But I am sorry.”

He nodded.   “And you look like a drowned rat because?”

I pulled a face.  “Ran out of gas down on Miller Ave.  At least I was able to pull to the side of the road.”  I looked up at him, searching his gaze.  “I really am sorry, Joshua.”

He nodded again.  “Let’s get you warmed up before you catch pneumonia.”

Joshua all but shoved me into the shower and left me to it while he went to change his clothes.  I felt like shit.  We never did things like this, and the one time we’d gone out of our way to plan something, I’d completely forgotten.  I was awful of me.  I needed to make it up to him somehow.

When I emerged from the bathroom, he’d laid out a warm pair of sweatpants and one of his sweatshirts for me to wear.  My cell phone was pointedly laying on top of the clothes pile, and when I touched the home button it lit up to reveal several missed calls and texts.  Now I felt even worse.  How had I missed him calling?  I nearly smacked myself when I remembered I’d turned the phone to silent so I wouldn’t be interrupted while I fixed the opinion.

As I got dressed, I wracked my brain trying to figure out how to make it up to him.  Slowly an idea emerged.  By the time I was clothed, I knew what I was going to do.  It would take a hell of a lot of planning, but I thought I could make it work.  Tomorrow, I’d start making phone calls.

 

***

When the alarm went off at four A.M. on Saturday morning, I rolled over and plastered my body to Joshua’s.  He chuckled and kissed me, then tried to gently extract himself.  When I wouldn’t let go, he started laughing in earnest.

“Will, honey, I have to go to work.”

“Nope.”

That earned me another laugh.  “Yes, I do.”

I cracked one eye open and looked at him.  “Actually, you don’t.  Lucas, Maggie, and the rest have it covered for the weekend.  You’re not to set foot back in Pounds and Grounds until Monday morning.”

He squinted at me. “What did you do?”

“I had to do it,” I responded fervently.  I gave him my best early morning grin.  “After Wednesday night, I needed to make it up to you.”

His gaze softened and he leaned over.  “Baby, you don’t have to do that.  You didn’t do it on purpose, and you apologized.”

“Yeah but I have this!”  With a flourish, I reached for the plastic bag I’d stashed beside the bed.  I had a feeling that he’d protest.  He was too forgiving.  Most of the time I loved that about him.  But right now, I needed to do whatever I could to make up for my mistake.

He peered cautiously into the bag, and then his eyes just lit up.  With the glee of a five year old on Christmas morning, he upended the bag and spread out the contents.  All seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation.  On Blu Ray.  My man had a huge crush on Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

“You do love me!” His tone was full of teasing, but my response was not.

“More than anything.”

Joshua pulled me across the bed until he could kiss me breathless.  When we were both panting, he leaned back far enough to grin at me.  “And we have the whole weekend to do nothing but watch.”

I nodded fast, grinning back.  That was the plan.  But I pushed the sheet off my body, showing off, and hoping we’d get to that later.  Joshua’s gaze turned heated, and he carefully set his presents on the bedside table.  Later was definitely in the cards.

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What Kind of Week Has It Been

Yesterday afternoon it sort of all crash down me.  The stress and the worry and the overwhelming…it all sort of screeched my brain to a halt.  It’s time to decompress a bit, relax, and just enjoy things that are other.  So I sat down with my yarn last night and finished up what I was working on.  It’s only one of four things (six really) that I’m working on at the moment, but that’s done.  And while I was knitting and watching TV, my brain was plotting.

It turns out I can’t really shut it off.

Really, I’m not surprised by that.  And I’ve often found the ability to let my mind wander in between the stitches.  Mind you, it wasn’t what I should have been plotting, my WIP, and was something else entirely, but it felt good just to think and knit.

I intend to do more of that this week.  Just knit and think.  Fortunately, my obligations are at a minimum right now so I can do that.  And tonight, when I sit down with the yarn, it will be with a mind focused on the current WIP–which doesn’t have a title, and only a vague plot at this point, and barely 1200 words.  But the Admiral is pulling for this story, and so am I, so I will give it my focus and see if I can’t get all my ducks in a row.  It’s on the verge of coming together.  It just needs more thought.

In the meantime, Will and Joshua will be back on Friday to give you another little snippet of their life.  The challenge from the Admiral has them in a bit of a sticky spot.  I hope you enjoy it!

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So That Happened

So. In case you missed it, I released a little novella last week (buy links in the book page at the top).  And it was scary and exciting and overwhelming and awesome.

Some people have said some amazing things to me, and I appreciate that with my whole dang heart.  There’s been some positive feedback with is utterly astounding.  There’s been actual sales which blows my mind a little bit.  To be honest, I can’t put into words how appreciative and grateful I am.  So I’ll just say a great big fat thank you to any and all who helped to make the release amazing and who have supported me throughout it.  It’s not enough, that thank you, but it’s all I have.  Y’all are freaking amazing.

But in the midst of all that awesome, we’ve gotten a crapton of snow.  Not as much as some other parts of the country, and for that I am grateful, but enough to be annoying and upsetting and to remind me that at this point?  I’m done with winter.  I am so ready for spring.  And not to mention, while I was enjoying a release day, a chunk of ice fell off the house and broke the side mirror on my car.  So, you know, now I have to get that fixed.  But the snow and the car, and all the other little things, though annoying and irritating, I just remind myself it’s all fodder for the grist mill.  That’s the kind of stuff that inspires plot bunnies and makes me want to write.

I’m in the post finishing a book slump right now, and the words are a bit like torture.  I’m still putting them on the page, knowing I can fix them later, but it’s hard work.  It seems like there’s a disconnect from my brain to my fingers, a block of some sort that is keeping the words from flowing.  I’m trying hard right now to work around it, so we’ll see what happens.  I’m working on it.

I’m going to end with another thank you, because really, I just can’t say it enough.  To everyone.  Thank you so very much.

Flash Fic Friday

Flash Fic Friday

**Have you read Pumpkin Rolls and Porn Sounds??  It just released on Wednesday, and in honor of those boys, as well as Valentine’s Day, here’s a little continuation of their story.  Follow along with Joshua and Will as they celebrate the holiday…and a misunderstanding sneaks in.  Enjoy!**

Pounds and Grounds was hopping, not unusual for an early Friday morning.  I stopped in before work more often than not.  Joshua left the house before I was even out of bed, with little more than a scratchy kiss to my cheek, and I liked seeing his smiling face to start my day.  Plus, they had the best tea in a twenty block radius and to-die-for pumpkin rolls.  Living with and loving the owner of the shop meant I got special privileges, and that included the tea and the rolls.

The place was decorated for Valentine’s Day—which had to be Maggie’s doing—with pink and red hearts and flowers.  She’d even drawn in extra hearts on the menu board.  She was wearing a heart-adorned headband and working the counter with her usual cheery attitude.  I gave her a little wave as I skirted the waiting customers, circled around behind the counter, and found my way to Joshua’s office.  I walked in without knocking, ready for the way his face would light up when he saw me.  That never ever got old.

But Joshua was on the phone, and not paying attention to the door.  It was impolite to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help overhearing his side of the conversation.

“A lot of guys prefer the clean shaven look.  Maybe if…yeah, you’re right….yeah, that makes sense.  That’s absolutely doable…Oh yeah, I’m on board with that plan.  So after work we’ll—” He cut himself off as he caught sight of me.  A blush colored his cheeks above his beard and he gave me a half-hearted smile.  “Gotta go.  I’ll talk to you later.”  He hung up the phone quickly.  “Hey, baby.”

But my heart was pounding in my chest, worry climbing in my gut over what I’d just heard.  He couldn’t actually be thinking about shaving, could he?  No, not my guy.  His beard and mustache were apart of him.  He wouldn’t change that.  I desperately tried to calm my racing heart.

“Joshua, what—” I was cut off when an almighty crash sounded through the café, followed immediately by the sound of breaking glass and a lot of swearing.  Joshua didn’t even spare me a glance as he raced out the door.  I followed him out to see the front case with the baked goods broken with a table protruding out of it, Maggie’s headband askew, and Lucas, the baker, standing in the kitchen doorway and cursing up a storm.  Joshua seemed to have the situation in hand, as he calmly tried to figure out what had happened.  I left him to it, knowing he didn’t need me in the middle of it, and went to work.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about Joshua’s conversation

***

The more I thought about it, the more worried I got.  Joshua had told me that he wouldn’t change for anyone, and I sure as hell didn’t want him to.  But did he think he needed to shave in order to keep me?  I thought I had laid that idea to rest, and I’d done my best to show him and tell him how much I loved every part of him.  I started to panic, and I tried to call him.  But the calls went right to voicemail and the texts went unanswered.  I could barely focus on work, and Caroline, our secretary, voiced her concern over my scattered brain more than once.  Fortunately, the judge didn’t seem to notice.  Or if he did, he didn’t care.

It was a trial day, and Judge Caltabiano had a light schedule, so I was able to make my escape by five thirty.  I raced home, terrified by what I would find.  By the time I pulled into our driveway, I was sure I was going to walk into the house and see Joshua bare cheeked and body waxed.  The thought had me hyperventilating, and I barely remembered to turn off the ignition as I ran into the house.  I slipped on the sidewalk and nearly fell, but even that didn’t stop me.

I knew Joshua was home because his car was in the driveway, but when I burst through the front door, I was met with darkness.  Except for the flickering candles.  Confused, I quickly checked outside to see the streetlights and all the other houses on our block ablaze.

“Joshua?” I called out, even as I removed my hat, scarf, and winter coat.  I was pulling off my boots when I heard his soft footsteps.  I looked up quickly, and my breath whooshed out in relief, my whole body sagging.

“Oh thank God,” I breathed.

His face crumpled in confusion.  “Will?  What’s wrong?”

“Oh my God, I was so scared you’d shaved!”  The hysterics were over the top, but the excess adrenaline pouring through my veins had to go somewhere.  It made my hand shake and my drama queen come out full force.

Joshua’s gasp was almost comical.  “Why would you think that?”

“This morning, I heard…and then you wouldn’t answer…and I—”

“You let your brain run away with you,” Joshua finished for me, his soft smile transforming his whole face.

I nodded fast.  “I sure did.  But I heard you.  You said clean shaven.  I thought you were going to shave your beard.”

Joshua shook his head like he couldn’t believe me, and gave a soft laugh.  “I was talking to my friend, Scott, making plans to hit the grocery store together so I could help him pick his meal.  He was the one that was worried his goatee was a turn off for his new boyfriend.”

I blushed, but I wasn’t totally surprised that I’d misunderstood.  Sometimes my head got carried away.  When he chuckled and held out his hand, I took it without hesitation and let him pull me into his arms.  My hand immediately went to the chest hair peeking out at the top of his shirt, reassuring myself he was still my hairy bear.

“I didn’t answer when you called,” he said softly into the shell of my ear.  His beard scratching along the sensitive skin made me shiver.  “Because I was worried I’d give away the surprise.  You ready for your Valentine’s day dinner, baby?”

I nodded as he led me into the kitchen.  He’d set the table with candles and flowers, matching plates, placemats, and napkins.  He pulled out my chair for me, and pushed it in when I sat.  He disappeared for a moment, but when he returned he had two shallow bowls of shrimp risotto.  My heart melted into a puddle of goo.  It was the first dinner he ever made for me, and even after all this time, it was still my favorite dish.  I got a little choked up at the sentimentality, and Joshua just gave me a wide grin as he sat next to me.  He poured us each a glass of wine, the same brand of Pinot Grigio I had brought to that first dinner, and then he held up his glass in a toast.

“Happy Valentine’s day, baby.  I love you.”

“I love you,” I responded fervently.  Every time I said it, I meant it more.  I knew I would spend the rest of my life falling in love with him.  Over and over again.

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Release Day!!

Oh my goodness guys!  It’s here!  Pumpkin Rolls and Porn Sounds is out!  *squee*  I pretty much can’t even right now.

I think it’s a good thing I have the day off from work!

Okay, so a couple of things.  Today, I’m over at Thorny’s talking about confidence and my characters.  There’s an excerpt and a giveaway.  So pretty exciting and if you want, head over there and check it out.

Also, I’m spending the day with the DsP blog, having myself a little release party.  There’s all sorts of fun stuff going up there, another giveaway, and I’ll be posting throughout the day until 5 PM EST.

I’m overwhelmed and excited and so very grateful to all of you who have already bought it.  I really, really hope you enjoy it.  And I want to hear what you think of it…the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly. Lay it on me, let me know.  I’d love to hear from you.  (Contact form is at the top)

Tune in Friday where the flash fic will feature Joshua and Will and you can see what happens next.  Don’t worry if you haven’t read the story yet, though, because it works just like the rest of my flashes, a snippet out of characters’ lives.

Thanks to everyone for giving me awesome support!  I appreciate it so much!

Buy Links: Dreamspinner/ ARe/ Amazon

praps-full-preview-2bWill Grant only attends the PFLAG meeting because his mother guilts him into it. But the instant he hears the night’s speaker, Will is glad he showed up. Joshua Rhinehardt is dynamic and engaging. Although Joshua isn’t physically Will’s type, Will can’t get the man out of his head.

Joshua may be comfortable in his own skin, but it isn’t often men like Will are attracted to him, and he’s not comfortable changing for someone else. He wants to make a life with Will, but his own insecurities keep getting in the way.

Will’s unwavering acceptance helps Joshua see that when two people connect, physical appearance just might not matter at all.

 

Flash Fic Friday

Flash Fic Friday

**Remember Ash and Travis from The Glass Heart?  This week’s challenge was the perfect opportunity to revisit them.  Today I bring you what happens when there’s a blizzard and some harmless flirting.  Enjoy!**

The storm was promising to be a good one.  In fact, the weather forecasters were claiming it would be the blizzard of the century.  Since they had already predicted one of those this season that had turned out to be anything but, Ash wasn’t too worried.  The snow had been falling steadily for the past few hours, but there was only a couple of inches accumulation.  If it continued at this rate for the entire time they expected the storm front to be hovering over their region, there’d be eight inches of new snowfall.  Max.  The city was more than equipped to deal with that.  But it didn’t stop Ash and Travis—as well as everyone else—from making plans to hole up and wait for the storm to pass.

Which was why Ash had dutifully followed along when Travis suggested hitting up the grocery store and laying in some necessities.  In the last couple of months, ever since Travis had given Ash the ornament and declared he’d no longer be looking for entertainment on the side, things had been so good between them.  They still didn’t live together, and Ash was fine with that.  They spent nights together more often than not, either at Travis’ house or Ash’s apartment.  They had talked, fucked like bunnies, and just generally grown even closer than before.  Ash was happy.

Except right at this moment when he was seething with anger and holding the shopping bags.  He tried to keep it in check, because an explosion in the nearly empty grocery store would do no good.  But he felt a tick in his cheek as he stood and watched his boyfriend fucking flirt with the little twink at the register.

He was a cute, young thing, Ash would admit.  But with the storm raging outside and the need to get home before it got any worse, did Travis really need to stand there directing a salacious grin and bright, sparkling eyes at the young man?  The cashier laughed at something Travis said as Travis handed over the money.  Ash knew it wasn’t his imagination that the cashier’s fingers stroked across Travis’ palm when he handed back the change.  And then Travis, fuck him, actually winked.  Ash saw red.  The moment Travis started walking in his direction, Ash turned on his heel and all but stomped out of the store.

He thought they were done with that.  Travis hadn’t been with another guy in months, and he’d told Ash that he’d got his screwing around out of his system.  They’d had so many long talks after the ornament about how Travis was ready to settle down and commit fully to Ash.  But now Ash had to wonder if this was something he’d have to live with for the rest of his life.  It was one thing before, when he knew getting involved with Travis would mean sharing him.  It was something else entirely now that Travis had committed to monogamy.

The remote car starter had the car nice and toasty by the time Ash reached it.  He threw the grocery bags into the back seat and grabbed the snow brush to swipe the excess snow off the windows and hood.  Travis was rushing to catch up, his boots sliding on the slick pavement as he hurried.  Ash almost called out a warning for him to be careful so he didn’t fall, but then decided it would be apt punishment for Travis to get a wet butt.

Ash slammed his door shut just as Travis yanked his open, sitting down in the passenger seat and shuddering as the blast of heat hit him.  Ash turned the key and stepped on the brake, ready to pull out of the parking space when Travis’ hand landed on his arm.

“Baby?” Travis queried, his voice low and confused.  “Where the fuck is the fire?”

“We have to get home,” Ash bit out.  He carefully backed up, hearing the tires crunch on the newly fallen snow.

Travis was silent for a beat.  “Ashton, what’s the matter?”

Ash snorted out a mirthless laugh.  As if it wasn’t obvious what the problem was.  He shook his head.  “Not now.  I have to concentrate.”

It was only about a six block drive back to Travis’ house, but only half of that was on well plowed and salted roads.  The last couple of blocks was all side streets, ones the city didn’t deem a priority.  Fortunately, Ash’s little SUV had all wheel drive and though he could only go twenty miles an hour, he made it to the driveway without slipping and sliding too much.  They’d shoveled the sidewalk and driveway before they left, and there was only a bit of new accumulation.  It would keep for a while.  Ash retrieved the shopping bags while Travis climbed the steps on the porch and unlocked the front door.  Ash stomped his boots on the wooden porch to shake off the extra snow, and let Travis take the bags as he removed his outerwear.

Travis stood there in his socks, holding the bags and staring hard at Ash.  “Please tell me what the fuck.”

“You,” Ash bit out, his anger rising again.  “Flirting with the cashier like I wasn’t standing three feet away.  Did you offer him a nice warm place to wait out the storm?  Should I make plans to sleep on the couch while you see to him in your bed?”

“Whoa, Ash, stop.”  Travis’ tone was confused.  And a little pissed off.  “What the hell?  Why would you even think that?  You know I’m committed to you.”

“You were flirting!” Ash ground out, his glare accusatory.

Travis blinked. “Um, yes?  And?”

“You said you weren’t going to see other guys anymore!  And yet you were flirting right in front of me!”

Travis was silent for a long moment, then he carefully set the bags on the floor.  When he straighted up, he took Ash’s hands in his own and made sure he was looking Ash right in the eye.  “Yes, I was flirting.  He was cute.  But flirting and hooking up are so not the same thing.  It was harmless, I promise.  I flirt because I breathe, but I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Ash looked at the sincerity in Travis’ face and completely deflated.  Of course.  He should have realized.  Flirting really was harmless, as long as Travis didn’t take it any further.  And if he were completely honest with himself, Ash probably would have flirted with the cashier a little bit himself.  He’d been that cute.  Suddenly all his righteous indignation seemed ridiculous and Ash felt bad for all his anger.  He trusted Travis, he always had, and a little flirting shouldn’t have changed that.

“Sorry,” Ash mumbled, unable to look Travis in the eye.  “I overreacted.”

Travis’ chuckled was warm, and he pulled Ash into his arms.  “Yeah, you did.  But I kind of like the possessiveness.  As long as it doesn’t mean that you suddenly don’t trust me, and we can talk about it, it’s not that big of a deal.”  Travis’ hands made soothing motions up and down Ash’s back.

“Yeah,” Ash agreed. He took a deep breath of Travis scented air, smelling nothing but the snow and the man himself.  “Okay.”

“Good.”  Travis pulled back and looked Ash in the eye.  “Now, how about we put this food away and snuggle up in front of the fire?  There’s a blizzard happening, you know.  Perfect opportunity to keep each other warm.”  He added a suggestive eyebrow waggle that had Ash grinning.

“Sounds perfect.”

 

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6 More Days!

Okay, so holy crap.  All of a sudden, there is less than a week away.  It’s, you know, a big deal to me, as it’s my very first standalone.  Next week, I’ll be visiting a couple of blogs to talk a little bit about the story.  I’ll post links.  Right now, you can preorder it directly from Dreamspinner or over at ARe.  It’ll be up on Amazon any day now, though it’s not there yet, and it will definitely be there on Wednesday, February 11th.

I get a serious attack of the nerves every time I think about it, but I’m also really very excited.  I even took the day off from the evil day job, because there’d be no way I could contain my excitement and actually focus.  Pretty smart of me huh?  🙂

Tomorrow’s flash fic is a revisit of some past characters, but the rest of the month, you’ll get to check in with Will and Joshua and see how their romance is progressing.  The Admiral gave me some good challenges to go along with them.  (and last night we hashed out March, so the good times will keep on coming with the flash fics)  Right now, I’ve only go three flash fic featuring these boys planned, but you never know if and when they’ll pop up again.

All right, so yeah, that’s the news and my entire focus at the moment.  Getting ready for these guys to be out in the world.  I really do hope you like them.

praps-full-preview-2bBlurb:

Will Grant only attends the PFLAG meeting because his mother guilts him into it. But the instant he hears the night’s speaker, Will is glad he showed up. Joshua Rhinehardt is dynamic and engaging. Although Joshua isn’t physically Will’s type, Will can’t get the man out of his head.

Joshua may be comfortable in his own skin, but it isn’t often men like Will are attracted to him, and he’s not comfortable changing for someone else. He wants to make a life with Will, but his own insecurities keep getting in the way.

Will’s unwavering acceptance helps Joshua see that when two people connect, physical appearance just might not matter at all.

 

 

Flash Fic Friday

Flash Fic Friday

**When I got this week’s challenge, I was convinced the Admiral was stepping up the game.  This one was a tough one to piece together, and not at all easy to write.  For a fire, an obligation, and a childhood friend, here’s what I wrote.  Enjoy!**

My childhood home was nothing but a burned out ruin.  I’d been back in town for three days, and I told myself I hadn’t been by because I’d been dealing with everything that needed taking care of.  But it was a lie.  I hadn’t been by because I didn’t want to be standing on the winter brown grass, staring at the wreckage, and feeling nothing but relief.  Which was exactly what was happening, and I felt guilty as all hell for it.

I’d been seventeen and a newly minted high school graduate when I made my escape.  Packed up everything I cared about and drove clear across the country to get away from the physical abuse and language.  It was a wonder I even made it to the end of high school.  Far too many kids in my situation never did.  But my will was stronger than the people I had to call parents, and I got the fuck out of dodge with a high school diploma and the promise of higher education.  I’d never looked back.  Not once in fifteen years.  Until this fire that had destroyed the house I grew up in and had taken my mother’s life.

The funeral had been yesterday, and poorly attended.  But at least she was finally at rest.  She had never actively taken part in the beatings or the demeaning language, she’d been as much abused as I had, but she’d never put a stop to it either.  She never bundled me up and took me out of that situation.  And when my father had suddenly died my sophomore year in high school, she had started drinking.  She continued to ignore me and drank herself into a stupor every day, and that hadn’t been any better.

I wouldn’t have come at all except for the fact that I had to.  I was here only because I was unable to sort through some of the necessities from the other side of the country.  Because no matter what had happened in this house, no matter the way I’d grown up, it was still my responsibility and my obligation to handle the fall out.

And I would have avoided showing up at this spot except for the fact that the lawyer said I needed to meet the fire marshal.  Apparently he had some questions that only I could answer before he finished his investigation.  I didn’t know how I’d be able to answer them, but I was willing to do anything I had to in order to get business finished so I could go back home.

I heard a car door slam shut behind me but I didn’t turn.  Boots crunching on the gravel driveway, and then the sound changing to the thud of feet on grass, was the only indication he was coming nearer.  I took a deep breath as I heard him approach, steeled myself, and then turned.

And looked right into the eyes of my best friend from elementary school.

For all the years that had passed, there was no mistaking that face.  Angel Rivera might have grown up, but I knew without a doubt who he was.  And he was even more beautiful as man than he’d been as a ten year old boy.  Back then, he’d been the reason that I realized I liked boys, and I’d actually been grateful when middle school had caused us to drift a part.  Now as a tall, broad shouldered, and heavily muscled man, if I’d met him in a club, I would have dropped to my knees.

“Connor,” he said by way of greeting, his voice little more than a rumble.  He reached out a hand and I shook it, willing myself not to react in any way.

“I’m sorry for your loss.”  He sounded like he meant it.

“Thanks,” I responded quietly because it was what I was supposed to say.  We stood there for an awkward moment.  He looked good in his uniform, and I wasn’t actually all that surprised to see him.  He had always said he wanted to be a firefighter.  I shuffled my feet, and then cleared my throat.  “I’m not sure that I can be of any help to you.  I haven’t set foot inside that house in more than fifteen years.”

“I know,” he responded with a nod.  His gaze was fixed on me, and I did my best to hold it.  Was that a blush staining his cheeks, or just the glow from the setting sun?  “I, um, mostly just wanted to check on you.”

I was stunned into silence for a moment.  I dropped my gaze to the ground.  “So, it’s not about the fire investigation?”

I heard him blow out a breath.  “It’s a pretty open and shut case, actually.  Faulty wiring, an overloaded socket, and uh—” He cut himself off and my gaze jerked to his face.  I knew I saw embarrassment there, and he gave a sort of shrug.  He took a breath before soldiering on.  “And a lot of alcohol caused the fire to catch and burn quickly.  By the time anyone realized the house was on fire, it was fully engulfed.”

I nodded because the news didn’t surprise me at all.  “Did she suffer?”

I blinked, surprised at myself.  It wasn’t a question I’d thought to ask anyone before now, just accepting the news and trying to deal with everything.  But suddenly, hearing how the whole thing happened, I wanted to know.

Angel’s brown eyes softened.  “No.  She was asleep and the smoke got to her before the fire did.”

I nodded again.  He was being polite.  What he meant was that she was passed out drunk and she’s suffocated first.  Still, I found myself relieved to hear it.  For all her faults, I didn’t want her to burn to death.

We were quiet for a long moment.  Then Angel reached out with one hand to squeeze my shoulder, and his voice was soft and filled with apology when he said, “I didn’t realize what was happening to you, back then.  If I’d known…” he trailed off, and then looked me in the eye.  “Well, I don’t know what I would have done, but I would have tried to help.”

“Thanks,” I said sincerely.  The truth was he hadn’t known because I hadn’t let on.  I was good at hiding the physical bruises, and the times I was with him, I’d been happy.  The emotional stress was the last thing on my mind.

“What are you going to do now?” he asked.

I shook my head.  “Sell the land, I guess.  Put this last piece of my past to rest and go back home.”

He looked at me with an expression I couldn’t quite decipher.  “Or you can build a new house here, and replace all the bad with something good of your own making.”

I gaped because I had no idea what to do with that.

His laugh was gentle, and his smile bright.  “Come on, let’s go grab something to eat.  You can fill me in on what you’ve been doing with your life.”

“Angel—” I began, but he cut me off by taking my hand and giving a little tug.

“Come on, Connor.  Let’s start making some good memories.”

Suddenly, that sounded like exactly what I wanted to do.  And there was no one else on this planet I wanted to do it with.

Flash Fic Friday

Special Flash Fic

**Today, in honor of my sister’s birthday, a special fic just for her.  Happy Birthday Sis!  May it be filled with awesome!**

I was running so unbelievably late.  Anxiety was making my motions clumsy, but I still rushed.  I should have been at the rink ten minutes ago, but if I was very lucky, and the traffic gods were with me, I’d still make it before the puck dropped.

Cellphone in my pocket, keys in my hand, I rushed toward the door, and only remembered at the last minute to grab the green and white jersey hanging by the door.  I was still tugging it over my head as I ran to the car.

I made it to the rink with only seconds to spare and I was never happier that I was such a fixture around the place that the security guards knew me.  John caught my attention as I waited in line, and he waved me through, letting me go through the wheelchair access gate.  I ignored the disgruntled shout from the few people still waiting to get through the gate and to their seats.

“Thanks, man,” I said fervently as I sidled by him.

“Anytime, Greg.  You know that.”  John gave a tip of his imaginary hat and I waved my thanks.

The Waitford Terrapins were a semi-professional hockey team, but they had a loyal fan base.  Most of the seats were filled.  I ran.  I had a permanent place right behind the team bench, and I’m sure Declan was already pissed that he hadn’t seen me there when the team had come out of the locker room.  Fortunately, I was welcomed on the “wives bench” even though Declan and I weren’t married and I was definitely not a woman.  Declan was the captain and the star and he didn’t take shit from anyone.  When he came out, he didn’t get much backlash.  It might have been different if he were playing in the pros, but here, it was something he could weather.

My ass hit the seat about three seconds before the puck dropped.

Declan was on fire today.  Not a single puck got by him, and by the end of the second period, the Terrapins had scored four times.  The opposing team’s coach was pissed.  My attention was drawn to his screaming even though I couldn’t make out the words.  Our boys had this in the bag if Declan kept up this frantic pace.  He was an outstanding goalie to begin with, but the Knights were the Terrapins biggest rivals and the competition between them was usually closer.  I couldn’t remember the last time this had happened.

“Your boy is in a mood today,” a soft voice murmured directly into my ear.  I turned to Alli with a grin.  Her husband was the center, and one of the team’s top scorers.  Three of those goals had been Brian’s.

“So is yours.”

She laughed, a deep rich sound, and shook her head.  “Not the same thing at all.  Brian’s mood is good.  What did you do to Declan? Or not do, I should ask.”  The last was said with a suggestive eyebrow waggle.  I rolled my eyes but I couldn’t help the grin.

“I don’t know what’s up his ass,” I admitted.  “But whatever it is, it’s making him mad enough to take it out on the puck.  Or at least make him hyper vigilant.”

Alli gave me a speculative glare, but then just shook her head.  “Maybe you should do it more often then.”

I threw up my hands. “You know what?  It could have absolutely nothing to do with me.”

Her snort was very unladylike.  “Not likely.  Declan only gets this riled up over you.”

I didn’t bother responding because she was absolutely right.

***

I was leaning against the concrete wall across from the locker room and watching it empty of every player except for my boyfriend.  Strictly speaking, I wasn’t allowed back here, but everyone always turned a blind eye.  I considered myself lucky, and took advantage of that every chance I got.  I loved seeing Declan right after a game, fresh from the shower and lugging his hockey bag.  Besides, with the way the Terrapins had shut out the Knights—the other team hadn’t managed a single goal—Declan was sure to be in a fantastic mood.

When he finally emerged and I took one look at his face, I knew I was wrong.

“What’s the matter?” I asked cautiously, pushing off the wall.

His scowl deepened.  “Really?”

I frowned at his sarcastic tone.  That really wasn’t like him.  “What the hell, Dec?”

He shook his head and pushed past me.  I scrambled to catch up, grabbing onto the strap of his bag and giving it a tug so he would stop.  His thunderous expression was enough to give me pause, though I knew he would never hurt me.

“Where the fuck were you?” he hissed.

I blinked.  “When?  What?”

“I looked for you.  I always look for you.  And you weren’t there.”

“I was there!  Right where I always am.”  I shook my head. “I was late, yes.  But I was there.”  I knew he had seen me, because I sat right behind the glass, and there was no way he could miss me.  Besides, I had waved to him and gotten the head tip in response.

“Yeah, but—” he cut himself off, blew out a breath, and hung his head.  “Fuck.  I’m sorry.  It’s just…”  He took a second to gather his thoughts, and then looked up at me.  “Pregame rituals, you know?  That moment before I step onto the ice and we lock eyes.  I need that.”

I knew he was superstitious.  A lot of players were.  Declan was worse than most.  He only washed his socks on Tuesday, always put his pads on in the same order, banged his stick against the goal post three times before the start of every period, and never put his helmet on until the last possible second.  But I honestly had no idea that our little moment was a part of that.

I reached up and took his face in my hands.  “So you were angry at me?”

“I was worried,” he admitted, a little sheepishly.  “You’re never not there.  I was worried something happened to you.  And then I saw you and I got pissed I didn’t get my moment.”

I nodded because what else could I do?  “I’m sorry I worried you.  But it was just one of those days.  I couldn’t get myself together.”  I let my grin turn cheeky.  “Besides, you played like a maniac today.  Maybe me being late is good for your game?”

“I’d rather play like shit and know you were safe,” he said fervently.  He closed his eyes for a second and swallowed hard.  “I love you.”

I grinned at him, then stood up on tiptoe.  “I love you too.  Let’s go home.”

He let me take his bag, and then looped his arm around my shoulders.  I knew I was forgiven for being late, and that was all that mattered.  Tomorrow was soon enough to point out that me being late had secured the Terrapins a place in the semi-finals.