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Full Steam Ahead

Okay, I’ll admit it.  I haven’t put any substantial words on the page in a few days.  Well, five is a few right?  Part of that, in all honesty, was the lazy showing through.  Part of that was me not managing my time well and having other things that needed to get done, and having to cram them together to get them done.  And one of those days was my birthday, on which I did nothing at all.  And a part of that was that I had edits for Don’t Wanna Lose Your Love and that’s important too, because that will be out in June!  But still, it’s been five days and I haven’t written much at all.

I hope I’ve learned my lesson this time.  I mean, really, it’s not the first time I’ve let procrastination and a bit of laziness dictate my life and cause me trouble.  I’ve gotten better about it in years past, but every once in a while, I fall back into bad habits.  I’m sure it’ll will sneak up on me again, but I’m hoping next time, when I start to get that way, I can say to myself “Remember what happened in March?!” and make myself do what I should.   I’m not quite over the hump yet, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I should be able to get things squared away and back on track by the end of the week.

Which is why I say full steam ahead.  These guys, Aaron and Lucas, are itching to get to the meat of their story, and I’m almost–but not quite–to the half way point in their story.  And though I haven’t written the words on the page, I haven’t been neglecting them completely.  There has been plotting and some notes.  I sorted out a secondary character who’s about to make his appearance with the help of some friends who know much more about things than I do.  And if all goes according the plan, this will be a trilogy, connected by the world, and that secondary character will see his own story as well.  So I have been doing a wee bit of work.  Though I know it’s not enough.

At any rate, I’ve pretty much got the other parts of my life squared away, and a few more days will have that completely seen to.  And when it does, there we go.  Diving back into the world and writing this story.  I’m exciting to get back to it.  I left them hanging on the verge of a change, and I’m as anxious as they are to get them moving forward.

Flash Fic Friday

Flash Fic Friday

**So this week’s challenge was one of those that I saw in my head almost as soon as the Admiral issued it.  Trying out for a play and a cop he said, and so I introduce you to Cole and Rafael.  Enjoy!**

I had no aspirations of being famous.  But I loved to act, and I could sing and dance, so when I heard that our local theater was putting on a production of Once Upon A Mattress, I couldn’t resist auditioning.  I hadn’t done any sort of theater since high school, but I thought it would be fun.  I was hoping for the part of Sir Harry, and I’d put that down on my paperwork, but I was sort of glad it was general auditions for everyone.  The same scene and the same song.  It took some of the pressure off, and I could just enjoy the process.

Not that I wasn’t nervous as all hell.

I thought I covered up the shake in my voice pretty well.  I sang my heart out, emoting expressively on the big stage, my strong tenor voice clear and on pitch.  I read my lines with feeling and vevre.  When all was said and done, I thought I’d done pretty well, despite the fact that it had been nearly fifteen years since I’d set foot on a stage.  I knew better than to read into the director’s huge smile, but I thanked him for his time and told him I looked forward to hearing from him.

Callbacks happened a week later.  When I got the email asking me to come in a read another scene, I actually shouted out loud in glee.  It scared the cat, she hissed and took off like a shot, but I didn’t care.  Knowing I would at least be a part of the production, even if I didn’t get my chosen role, was thrilling.

I raced to my second audition that night, excitement and nerves making my foot heavy on the accelerator.  I was talking to myself out loud, going through the scene again, making sure I had it memorized.  I was so absorbed in what I was doing, I almost missed the flashing blue and red lights behind me.

Fuck.

I eased off the gas and steered the car to the side of the road, coming to a stop.  All hope that the cop was going to fly by me disappeared as he pulled in behind me.  Double fuck.  I eased the window down with a push of a button, then placed my hands back on the steering wheel.

The officer cut an imposing figure in his dark blue uniform as he sauntered toward me.  Tall, wide shoulders, dark hair, and an easy roll to his gait.  I peered up at him when he got to my window.  His nameplate read Rinaldi, and the last name somehow fit his swarthy good looks.  I swallowed hard.

“License and registration, please.”  His voice had a deep bass timbre that slid down my spine.  Christ, really?  This was not the time for such thoughts.  I nodded and dug in my wallet to produce my license, and then reached for the glove box and fished around until I found my registration.  I handed them both over.

He was silent for a long moment as he studied them.  “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

“No, sir,” I said.  I used the honorific on purpose, keeping my voice low and non-confrontational, hoping that my cooperative deference would work in my favor.

“You were going sixty in a forty-five,” the officer said conversationally.  He looked up and his dark brown eyes seemed to pierce right through me.  “Where were you going in such a hurry, Mr. Martin?”

“An audition,” I responded.  When one dark eyebrow quirked in question, I blew out a breath and elaborated.  “For the local theater?  I have my second audition tonight.”

For a very long, tense moment, he said nothing.  Then he handed me back my license and registration.  I was a little stunned as I took them.  He leaned one arm on the top of my car, and bent down to peer inside.  His gaze found mine.  “Be more careful.”

I was still nodding when he stood up and walked away.

For a moment, I just sat there, stunned.  I’d been sure I would get a ticket.  But he’d let me off with a warning.  I knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth.  I shoved my registration back in the glove box, tossed my wallet and license on the passenger seat, and drove off at a much more sedate pace.

***

The audition had gone extremely well, the director all but told me I’d be playing Sir Harry, and I was riding high as I practically floated out of the theater and to my car.  I was beyond thrilled, and I knew I was going to have a fantastic time.  I couldn’t wait for rehearsals to start.

I came back to earth with a nasty bump when I saw the cop leaning against my car.  What the hell was he doing here?  Had he followed me?  Was he going to give me a ticket afterall?

“Officer Rinaldi,” I greeted with a head tip when I got close enough.  I did my best not to let my nerves show.

“Cole Martin,” he said, his voice going low.  Seductive even.  His gaze traveled up and down the length of my body and I fought the shiver.  “Please, call me Rafael.  I’m off duty now.”

Okay then.  Not here to give me a ticket.  This was something else entirely.  I swallowed hard.  Then I tried his name out on my lips.  “Rafael.”

His grin was breathtaking.  My own mouth quirked in response.  God he was beautiful.

He pushed off from my car with an easy nudge of his hip, standing up straight, but his posture was relaxed.  He took a couple of steps toward me until he was in my space.

“How did the audition go?”

“Good,” I said.  There was a slight crack in my voice.  I blushed slightly as I cleared my throat.  “Really good.  I think I got the part.  I won’t know for a couple of days though.”

He nodded slowly, that smile still in place, and then he reached out one hand and ran his fingers down my arm.

“How would you like to go for a cup of coffee?  You can tell me all about it.”

I grinned and nodded.  This was turning out to be one of the best nights of my life.

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It’s My Birthday!

I love birthdays.  I do.  Not even just mine.  There’s something so fun and special about celebrating a person on the anniversary of their birth that I simply adore.  I blame my mother, as she’s always made a big deal out of birthdays.

As an exercise this morning, I was thinking about what my boys would have given me for my birthday…were they actually real and not figments of my imagination.  So I thought I’d share that with you.

From Worth It:

Jack’s gift–a Christmas tree ornament, shaped like a circus elephant

Ryan–handmade pine knitting needles (they sell them in the gift shop at Bennett’s)

From Hero Worship:

Alex–a generic dollar store card, but there would be a generous Visa gift card inside

Matt–A Jayne hat, from Firefly

From Pumpkin Rolls and Porn Sounds:

Joshua–Star Trek socks

Will–A cashmere scarf

From Don’t Wanna Lose Your Love (out in June!)

Ben–a trip to my LYS and I could pick any and all yarn I wanted

Zack–a painting of an Oak tree in autumn.

So there you  have it.  A little insight to my characters, how well they know me, and what they would deem appropriate gifts.  😀

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It’s All His Fault

Okay, wait, to be fair, I do take 12% of the blame.  I found the sub call in the first place.  But without his insistence encouragement, the story I’m working on right now wouldn’t be getting written.  I’d have abandoned it more than ten thousand words ago and moved on to something else. I would have decided that this story wasn’t worth telling.  If he wasn’t demanding it get written encouraging me along, I honestly would have given up.  I’d hit a bad patch, and I felt like I wasn’t prepared to write it.  I felt I wasn’t capable of telling this story.  He called bullshit, and pulled out his stern voice, and told me to stop making excuses and just write.

So I am.

He’s pretty much the only one to kick my ass.  Which is why he’s the Admiral.  Most everyone else is great at helping me make excuses.  Which, if I’m honest, I love.  They agree that it must be the story’s fault, not mine, and that it’s okay if I put it aside and don’t work on it.  But not him.  Oh no.  If I’m in need of asskicking, he does it without hesitation.  Which is, in reality, a very good thing.

So I’m writing this story because he wants me to.  But as I’m writing it, I’m falling in love with these boys and their story.  These guys are worming their way into my heart, and I’m actually very much enjoying them and their journey.  I’ve gotten to that place where I’m all full steam ahead, let’s get it written, I want to see this through all the way.  And I love that feeling.  So, as usual, the Admiral was right.  But that doesn’t make it any less his fault.

Of course, this time he’s even taken it one step further.  This time it’s not only just about the current story, but about the sequel with a secondary character that he’d like to see.  Will I indulge him that sequel?  Yeah, probably.  Because I already have the plot bunny and a very basic plot outline.  But I have to get this one written first.

So that’s what I’m doing.

But I’m still placing the blame squarely on his shoulders.

Flash Fic Friday

Flash Fic Friday

**Micah and Kevin from last week are back again.  This time, it’s Kevin who makes the mistake.  Enjoy!**

I stood on the porch, my hand on the doorknob.  I took a deep breath, and told myself to open the door.  My body didn’t obey.  I fought back a few tears, took another breath, and finally made myself open the front door and walk into the house.

“Kev!  Hey, there you—” Micah cut himself off when he caught sight of my face.  Instantly, he was up and at my side.  “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

I shook my head as he led me to the couch.  “When you kill me, will you make it look like an accident?”  My laugh was weak, my attempt at humor not even remotely funny.  Micah’s eyes were filled with worry and his thumb made soothing circles on the back of my hand.

“What happened?”

I had to suck in a breath, then release it slowly.  There was no use in avoiding the truth.  I needed to be the one to tell him.  I couldn’t let him find out on his own.  That would just lead to a huge fight.  I couldn’t keep this a secret.

“I’m sorry!” I burst out.  Another deep breath.  “I was online today, making my quarterly donation to Make-A-Wish.”

Micah nodded.  “Okay,” he said slowly.  “You do that all the time.”

He didn’t understand, but he would in a minute.  And then he would probably strangle me to death.  I’d deserve it.

“I was rushing, and I wasn’t paying as close attention as I should have been.  I’ve done it so many times, you know?  It’s like my fingers know exactly what to click.”  I peeked at Micah out of the corner of my eye.  He was waiting, not exactly patiently, for me to spit it out.  So I did.  “I meant to donate fifty like I usually do.  But I didn’t put the decimal in.”

“Kevin,” Micah said, his voice low.  “What happened?”

“I donated five thousand dollars,” I all but whispered.  “Our vacation fund is gone.”

Silence.  It took me almost a full minute before I could lift my gaze and look at him.  Micah was staring at the far wall, his face entirely blank.  I wanted to reach out and touch him, wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but I knew better than to say anything.  I needed to wait while he processed that information.  I couldn’t rush him.  I tried very hard not to fidget.

“You didn’t tell them it was a mistake?” Micah’s voice was dangerously low.  I swallowed hard.

“How could I?” My voice was soft.  “I clicked too fast, it was done and complete before I realized it and…” I trailed off, and sighed.  “How could I take that away from kids who really need it?  I just—”

Micah stood up fast and I stopped speaking.  He walked across the room, leaning his hands on the mantle, and hanging his head between his arms.  I wanted so badly to hug him, for him to hold me back and tell me it was okay.  I hadn’t meant to do it, and I regretted that basically every penny we’d been saving for months for a cruise was gone.  But I didn’t regret that the money was going to a worthy cause.  So I remained still and silent, waiting for Micah to start yelling.

“Okay,” he said finally.  He blew out a breath and lifted his head, but he didn’t turn around to look at me.  “It’s okay.”

I opened my mouth, but no words came out.  I cleared my throat.  “It’s okay?”

Micah sighed, and finally turned around.  “Well, what are we going to do about it now?  Nothing.  There’s nothing to do.  Hopefully, that will help make some poor kid’s wish come true.”

I almost couldn’t believe the words he was saying.  “You’re not mad?”

He shook his head, and I nearly sagged in relief. But then he spoke and my muscles went taut.  “Oh, I’m plenty mad.  I’ve been looking forward to this vacation for months, and I’m pissed as hell that now it’ll be even longer before we go.”  His eyes were swirling with emotion, and I tried to say something, but Micah cut me off by lifting his hand.  “But I also know you didn’t do it on purpose, and that you’ll be much, much more careful in the future.”

I nodded fast, and Micah finally graced me with a hint of a smile.  He shook his head, then pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Yeah, I’m upset.  But I’ll get over it.  And because I know you weren’t trying to be a jerk and mess up our vacation, I’ll forgive you for this gross oversight.”

A laugh of relief bubbled up, but I managed to check it before it escaped.  That wouldn’t do us any good right now.  Instead, I stood and slowly crossed to where he was standing.  I cautiously reached out a hand, and Micah took it after only a second’s hesitation, then pulled me into his arms.  I sighed as I snuggled into his embrace.

With my face smooshed against his neck, I said again, “I’m really sorry.”

I felt him nod, and he squeezed me tightly.  “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said fervently.

“But you’re not allowed to play with money for a while, huh?”

I laughed because I couldn’t help it.  “Yeah, okay.”

It was the least I could agree to.

Flash Fic Friday

Special Flash Fic

**A birthday deserves a special story, right?  So for Carla (who helped a bit with this as well) Happy Birthday!!  May your day be filled with awesome!**

I’d always wanted to visit Paris, and Etienne had made that possible.  I swore up and down to anyone who asked I hadn’t started dating the Frenchman so that he’d take me home with him, and it was mostly true.  Etienne was gorgeous and kind, and he’d caught my attention before I’d ever heard him speak or known that, for all he’d been living in the States for fifteen years, his heart and home were still in France.  Now, after a year and a half of dating, we’d finally gone on vacation to visit his relatives.

Standing outside the Palais du Louvre near the Pont des Arts, I waited for him to finish a phone call that couldn’t wait.  He’d been really good about ignoring the phone when he could while we’d been here, so I didn’t fault him for the occasional time that he couldn’t.  Besides, it was good people-watching.  The courtyard wasn’t overly fully, but there were enough people milling about the pyramid to make it interesting.  Family groups, couples, and a whole mess of tourists had my imagination wandering, wondering what their stories were.

With my attention diverted, I was nearly bowled over by two young children, a boy and a girl, as they ran past.  Shouting and chasing each other, I smiled as I watched their antics.  A woman chased after them, harried looking but smiling as she called out, “Nell!  Viggo! Reviens ici, imbéciles. Ne t’enfuis pas de moi.”

They seemed happy, even if their mother looked ready to cheerfully strangle them, and I stepped out of their path and meandered a few feet away.  A glance at Etienne showed he was still rather engaged in his phone call, but he had one eye on me and made an apologetic face.  I blew him a kiss, and moseyed further inward, taking in the sights, and soaking up the atmosphere.

“Tu es un homme merveilleux.” A deep voice said close to my ear.  “Tu devrais me laisser te ramener à la maison.”

I wasn’t very good with French—Etienne was teaching me but it was slow going.  I didn’t really have an ear for language—but I understood the gist of it.  Since that wasn’t Etienne, I opened my mouth to decline but the words dried up when I caught sight of the man speaking to me.  He was absolutely stunning in his beauty, but he held himself with a smarmy air that let me know he knew it.  I shook my head.  I wouldn’t have gone with him even if I wasn’t already in love.

“Il est à moi,” Etienne growled, stomping over to where we stood, his face a dark mask of anger.  The stranger held up his hands and backed away slowly, like he didn’t mean any harm, but Etienne didn’t stop his menacing stare until the man was well and truly gone.  I smiled up at my boyfriend.  His possessiveness should have been a turn off, but I just found it hot.

“I wouldn’t have gone with him,” I said softly, staring into his deep brown eyes.  He nodded quickly, and his smile turned both indulgent and apologetic at once.

“Oui, I know,” he said.  Then he held up his phone.  “Je suis désolé.”

“It’s all right,” I said, meaning it.  I grinned.  “How about you show me what you wanted to show me now?”

He nodded and took my hand, leading me toward the Pont des Arts.  It was one of the things I’d loved about him from the start, that he wasn’t afraid to show his connection to me.  Etienne was an incredibly tactile person, and he touched me whenever he wanted, no matter where we were.  I was more than happy to let him.

Once on the bridge, Etienne pulled me to a stop about half way along, and then drew my attention to the railing.  It was only then that I noticed the padlocks.  Thousands upon thousands of locks were attached.  We moved closer and I could see that they had names written on them.  I cocked my eyebrow at Etienne in question.  He smiled.

“Cadenas d’Amour,” he said in his deep baritone, pulling me closer.  “Love locks.  It is a tradition that lovers attach a lock to the bridge, and then throw the key in the Siene.  It is said to represent a couple’s committed love.”

I smiled, my gaze barely able to take in the multitude of padlocks.  “That’s a lovely sentiment.  I can’t imagine it’s good for the bridge, but I don’t think I care.  I love the romanticism of it.”

Etienne nudged my arm, and when I looked at him, he reached into his pocket and produced a gold padlock.  It was a hefty piece of hardware, the shackle thick and sturdy.  And then he turned it over to show me the other side. Michael and Etienne was engraved in elegant script.  My heart gave a thump, and my breath caught in my chest.

“Oh, Etienne,” I began, but I couldn’t get any more words out.  He cupped my jaw with one big hand, his smile full of love, and then we turned our attention to the railing.  Together we found a spot, though it was a challenge, to attach our padlock.  Etienne was careful to make sure it was secure before he removed the key.  He handed it to me, and I kissed him softly before I tossed it over the side and into the Siene.

We stood there for a long moment, just absorbing the moment, before he once again took my hand and we continued our journey.  Across the bridge and toward the rest of our life.

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Bad Habit

I have this bad habit, one I was reminded again about yesterday.  You see, I get all gung ho about a story idea, and I write, and then I sort of fizzle out, and then I just kind of…abandon the project.  And it sits there unfinished, boys in the middle of a scene, with no resolution in sight.

Now, sometimes, it’s because the story isn’t working.  It’s not the right story to tell, and it’s not going to get written.  Like Ben and Zack, from Don’t Wanna Lose Your Love (which will be out in June).  What I originally wrote, months and months and months ago…that wasn’t working.  But then there was a new idea, and I was able to bring those guys back and tell their story in a new and better way.

But most of the time?  Yeah, it’s all on me.  It’s because I hit a wall, or I find problems, and the work that needs to be done to tell the story just isn’t happening.  That’s my fault.  I have a WIP Roll the Dice, that’s just sitting because I couldn’t figure out the next part and these guys are just waiting for their story to be told.  That one I still think about from time to time, open up the doc, read along and love them, and then…I get to that point where it’s stopped and I still have no idea how to move the story forward.

And my current WIP?  It has no title and barely 5,000 words.  Except that one I actually have plotted out to the end, in rough terms, and I know where the story is going.  But I was still whining about writing it.  Still having issues.  And wanting to abandon it and work on something else.  Of course, I have someone lovingly breathing down my neck, telling me to just focus goddammit, and write the dang story.

So I am.  2k of those words I just put on the story yesterday, and I’m at the point where my MCs finally start moving toward each other.  It’s the early stages yet, and there’s some misconceptions working against them, but that will all be straightened out soon. We have a guy who’s in the closet by necessity, and another, our narrator, who will eventually sort everything out.

I use excuses to keep me from writing it.  I know I do.  “It’s bad.”  “I have edits coming up.” “There’s these other guys talking in my head.”  Whatever I can think of.  And it’s all true, but that doesn’t preclude me from writing these guys, from telling their story.

It’s a bad, bad habit.  But one I’m trying to break.

Flash Fic Friday

Flash Fic Friday

**This week’s challenge went through a couple of incarnations before I finally got it written.  But here’s what happened with driving under the influence and the morning after.  Enjoy!**

The squeal of tires and the sound of the garbage bins being knocked over jerked me from sleep.  I’d been lounging on the couch waiting for my boyfriend to come home from his friend’s birthday party, and I must have dozed off.  But the shock of awaking to those noises had adrenaline pulsing through my veins.  I hopped off the couch and scrubbed my hands over my face even as I walked as quickly as I could toward the front door.  With a quick twist of my wrist, I had the deadbolt unlocked, and I pulled the door open.  Micah was on the porch, swaying unsteadily, his hand raised toward the door with the wrong key extended.   He smelled like a distillery.

“Jesus,” I whispered, reaching out a hand and grabbing hold before he could fall over.

“Hey, baby,” he slurred.  He leaned heavily against me, and since I was several inches shorter and thirty pounds lighter than he was, I grunted under the strain.   His smile was wide, and his eyes were unfocused.

“Christ Micah, what the fuck?”  I ushered him into the house and made sure he was supported against the wall before I turned to shut the door.  When I caught sight of his car in the driveway, with no other occupants, and the garbage cans lying on their side, my blood started to boil.

“You drove?” I hissed.

Micah’s grin just grew wider.  “Yep!”  He seemed pleased with himself.  He gave a belch, then patted his stomach.

“What in the fuck were you thinking?” I bellowed.  I was beyond angry.  He could have killed himself!  He could have killed someone else!  What the fuck was he thinking?  Clearly he hadn’t been, and I was honestly surprised.  This was not something he’d ever done before, and I knew he knew better.

“Shh,” he whispered, wincing at my tone.  “I’s fine, Kev.  No big deal.”

Yes it fucking was.  But there was no point in arguing about it now.  He’d get an earful in the morning.

***

The next time I woke up, it was to the sound of Micah retching in the bathroom.  I waited until he stopped, and I heard the flush of the toilet, before I burst into the room, letting the door bang against the wall.

“Good morning, Sunshine!” I shouted.  “How are you?”

“Jesus fuck,” he muttered before hauling himself upright and shuffled to the sink.  “Kevin, sweetheart, keep it down.”

“Nope!”  I was using my outside voice on purpose.  He’d pay for what he did last night with more than a hangover.  “I want to know what in the fuck you were thinking driving yourself home last night.”

“I was fine.”  He voice was quiet, and he scowled at me.  “I only had three beers.”

I snorted.  “You had more than that.  You came home reeking of alcohol and barely able to stand up.  Micah, what the hell?  You know better than to drive like that.  You could have been killed!  Worse, you could have killed someone else.  Tell me what was going through your dumbass head that you got behind the wheel!”

“Please stop shouting,” he said, sounding miserable.  He brushed his teeth, and then sipped some water before he turned to me.  I had my arms crossed over my chest, and stared him down.  I couldn’t believe he would do something this stupid, this dangerous, and I wanted an explanation.

“I thought I was fine,” he amended his earlier statement.

Not good enough.  “Well you weren’t.  You scared the holy hell out of me when you got home.  Thinking of you driving all that way intoxicated—”

“But nothing bad happened,” he interrupted.

“Oh my God, really?  That’s your defense?  You know damn well that was probably the stupidest thing you could have done.  If there was no one sober, you could have called a cab or me, for fuck’s sake.”

He winced again, and I saw the shame all over his face.  Good.  He deserved it.  “What do you want me to say, Kevin?  It won’t happen again.  Ever.”

I squinted at him.  “How about you don’t drink again unless I’m there and sober to drive us?”

His eyes widened.  “I’m being punished?”

If not drinking was a punishment, then he needed to grow up.  I nodded, and stared hard, not backing down even a little.  Finally he sighed, and his agreement was a grunt and a nod.  Three years into our relationship, I knew that was as good as a promise out loud.  Finally satisfied that I wouldn’t have to go through this ever again, I relaxed.  Micah’s smile was pained but genuine, and he opened his arms.  I went straight into them.

“I’m sorry I scared you.  Thinking about it now, I scared myself a little.  It won’t happen again, Kev.”

I nodded against his chest.  “I love you.  I can’t lose you.  To death or prison.”

His kiss to my forehead was sweet.  “I love you too.  And you’re stuck with me for a long time.”

I sighed contentedly.  That was exactly what I wanted.

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The Sad and The Good

Joshua is mourning the loss of the great Leonard Nimoy.  You know that he’s a huge fan of Star Trek.  It started when he was just a child, a gift from his father, with the original series.  Spock was always one of his favorite characters.  He even dressed up as Spock for Halloween one year when he was about six, though none of his friends knew who he was.  It didn’t matter.  He admired Spock, and the man that played him, and he is very sad at his passing, though he knows the man lived a good life.  His heart is breaking.

Okay, yeah, that’s mostly me (though Halloween Spock was my brother) and it’s sad news. The world has lost someone great and I can only hope he rests in peace and is reunited with those who have gone before.

But before that happened, I got some very good news.  I’ll have another novella release in June!  As part of Dreamspinner Press’s June Daily Dose, Never Too Late.  It’s called Don’t Wanna Lose Your Love and is the story of Ben and Zack.  This one has a very special place in my heart, as it stemmed directly from a conversation, and afforded me the opportunity to bring back two MCs I had previously abandoned because their story wasn’t working.  Now it does, and though it’s still very low on the angst meter, I’m really excited about this story.  I love these guys, which I suppose is a good thing since I wrote them, and I’m thrilled to share their story with you.  I’m also excited because there’s only a three month wait.  It’ll be available for individual sale on June 1st, and as part of the whole package, if you chose to go that route.  I’m positively giddy to begin the production process, to polish this story till it shines, and to work with an amazing artist for the cover.  It’s going to be good, and I really can’t wait to share this story with you.

Flash Fic Friday

Flash Fic Friday

**Hope you aren’t sick of my boys yet! 😀  Joshua and Will are here one more time, to tell you what happened when they reached a turning point in their relationship, and there was a surprise…in the grocery store.  Thanks for reading along.  Enjoy!**

Sadie Mae was seven pounds, ten ounces of perfect angel.  As I watched Joshua hold his brand new niece, my heart just melted at the sight.  He was so big and she was so tiny, trustingly nestled up against his chest.  I knew how safe I felt why I laid against him like that.  I could imagine how protected Sadie felt in those big, strong arms.

Joshua’s gaze finally strayed away from the infant he held and found mine.  And there it was all over his face.  He wanted one of those for his own.  I tried to smile, and I was pretty sure I succeeded.  But inside, I was panicking.  I never thought of having children of my own, and though we’d never discussed it, it was clear that Joshua did.  Could I deal with a kid?  Was it a deal breaker if I couldn’t?  Would I lose Joshua if I said I didn’t want children?  Did I actually feel that way?  I wasn’t sure.  About any of it.

My thoughts were racing, my brain churning a mile a minute, and I actually jumped when Joshua touched my arm and told me it was time to go.  I barely paid attention as we said our goodbyes and left the house.  I was even more lost in a daze when Joshua pulled the car away from the curb.  Christ. How was it that in more than two years of dating, the topic of children had never come up?

I startled and jerked when Joshua stopped the car, and I looked around in surprise when I realized we were in the parking lot of the grocery store.  Joshua was already out of the car and moving before I realized what was going on, and I scrambled to catch up.

“What are we doing here?”

Joshua gave me a sidelong glance.  “I told you I wanted to make a couple of casseroles so Sarah and Lucas didn’t have to worry about food.”

I shook my head.  “Right, right.”  If he’d said it, I hadn’t been paying attention.  But there was no need for him to know that.  When he selected a cart and turned it toward the first aisle, he gave me another speculative look.

“Will?”  Joshua bumped me with his shoulder.  “You all right?”

“Yeah, sure,” I responded quickly.  We both winced as my voice came out high and squeaky.  I cleared my throat.  “Just, you know, thinking.  About Sadie.”

Joshua’s smile went soft and sweet.  “She’s perfect, isn’t she?”  His tone was filled with awe.

“Yeah, she is,” I agreed.  And then I was relieved when he sent me over a couple of aisles to pick up some soup.  I wandered in that direction, nearly running into an end-cap display, and having to apologize to an octogenarian in a motorized scooter type shopping cart.  She glared at me and gave me the finger.  I couldn’t even be amused because I was so lost in thought.  This was a pivotal moment in our relationship.  How was the world not standing still?

When I caught up with Joshua again, he gave me a critical look.  Then he slid the cart to the side and took my shoulders in his hands.

“Will, what’s going?

“What do you mean?” I tried for innocent and failed miserably.

His eyes narrowed as he studied me.  “I asked you to get two cans of cream of mushroom soup.”

“Uh huh,” I agreed, nodding like a bobble head.

Joshua was silent for a minute as he pursed his lips.  “This is chicken noodle.”

“Shit,” I whispered, my cheeks heating.

“Yeah.”  Joshua pulled me a little closer so I had no choice but to look into his eyes.  “Will, baby, talk to me.”

“Do you want kids?” I blurted.

For a long moment, Joshua just blinked at me and said nothing.  My heart was rioting in my chest, and I could barely breathe while I waited.  Finally, he shrugged.  “Yeah, I guess so.  I mean, it’d be nice.  To have a little you or a little me running around.  If that something we decide to do, down the road.  After we’ve talked about it a lot.”  The last was said pointedly, and I did not miss his intent.

But somehow, that made everything clear in my head.  He wanted me forever, kids or not, and I no longer knew what we were waiting for.  We’d lived together for almost a year.  Our lives were fully entwined.  I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.  When I tried, I just couldn’t get the picture to form.  I took a deep breath, and dropped to my knee.

His eyes widened in surprise.  “Will!” he hissed.

“Marry me,” I said sincerely, not detered by his tone or our location.  I knew, to the depths of my soul, that this was the perfect moment.  We’d reached a turning point in our relationship, and as far as I could see, there was only one way to go.  “I love you.  More than anything.  Marry me.”

Joshua’s blush was sweet.  “Yes, of course, you idiot.  I can’t believe you just proposed to me in a grocery store.”

“I’m just full of surprises,” I said cheekily.  I stood up fast, and hugged him tight, loving the way I fit in his arms.  “I have the rings at home already.”

“Christ,” he said with a chuckle.  “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

“You’re going to marry me,” I said with confidence.

“Yes.  Yes I am.”

And I knew, without a doubt, that we would live happily ever after.