Author: Kristbethke

There’s not much to say about the events of last week. Well, I mean there’s a lot to say, but nothing that’s going to change anything. It’s not what I wanted, what I voted for, and I’m heartbroken by the results. I’m worried and angry. And I’m legitimately scared. Yes, I’m scared for myself because while I have a certain level of privilege because of my skin color, I am not rich, and I am not straight, and I am not a man. But even more than that, I’m scared for those who are more marginalized than I am, who are more than just queer and a woman. POC, trans, Muslim, Jewish, so many more…they are all in danger.

I can’t change the outcome of the election. What I can do is fight for change in our society. Donating to agencies that will lose their funding, donating to ones who can take legal action, standing up in the face of hate.

Part of that is my writing, sure. I will continue to write boys falling in love with boys. It’s been tough this week to get into the headspace to do that, though. Because the hurt and anger and fear was so raw. It’s why I didn’t put up a flash fic this past Friday…the one I’d planned did not come true. It’s hard to be creative when you’re so upset.

But I will do my part, and part of that is writing. I’m just a drop in the bucket. But if all the drops get together, we can create an ocean.

Something Like Want is live on Amazon, where it will live happily for the next 90 days before going to a wider release. You can check it out here!

Of course, we’ll see a few Friday Flash Fics featuring these guys, and I’m excited to bring those to you as well.

Hope you enjoy Alex and Spencer’s story. It’s been a long time coming, but they are finally here. And I couldn’t be happier!

Actor Alex Lockhart’s career is in a good place. The roles are coming in, the work is steady, and everything is falling into place. Even his sex life, since Alex finally hooked up with another hot actor, Spencer Johns, and Spencer pushes every one of Alex’s buttons. Just when Alex is on the verge of landing an exciting role, he learns the part went to Spencer. And Spencer didn’t even bother to mention he was up for the part.
Feeling furious and betrayed, with one punch Alex takes their sudden feud public. Hollywood is abuzz with their rivalry. But when a chance at a great independent movie comes up, Alex can’t turn down the role, even if Spencer is also slated to be in it. Beneath his outward hate and loathing for Spencer simmers hurt and a desperate want Alex can’t seem to quell. But as he tries to hold onto the hurt and anger, Alex learns Spencer isn’t quite what he thought. Can burning desire and want be enough to put out the flames of Alex’s rage?

A lot is coming down the pipeline!

Something Like Want is ready and submitted to Amazon, and I’m hoping it won’t be long before it’s approved and live! I’m releasing it exclusively there with Kindle Unlimited for the first 90 days, so if you have a subscription, you can read it. If you don’t, then you can buy it out right. After three months, it’ll go live on ARe as well. But for now, check it out on Amazon!

On December 14th, His Needs hits shelves. I still love this story a whole hell of a lot. I love the cover. I love everything about it. Buy links will be live in just a couple of weeks, and I’ll share them then. It’ll be available on the Dreamspinner site as well as all major retailers.

And I have a story in a charity anthology which is slated for release in December as well. All the proceeds from the Love Wins antho go to benefit the victims of the Pulse massacre back in June. It’s a sweet story of love conquering fear, and I adore it.

And that’s it for this year, release wise. (And I’m working hard on a few things I hope will make next year just as good)

There’s been a lot of second guessing (dozenth guessing?) and restarting. A lot of questioning and deciding and hemming and hawing and mind changing. I have whined and moaned and whined some more about what I was going to do and how I was going to do it. A lot of things felt sort of right and nothing felt completely right. I was psyching myself out, making things more difficult then they needed to be. As per usual.

So yeah, I started writing Hearts and Hazelnuts and then…it fizzed out. I didn’t write anything more for weeks.

It was kind of a hot mess. Not gonna lie. Okay, not it. Me. I was a hot mess. I get into my head and things get difficult. I make them difficult. I worry about things I don’t need to worry about and I block my own creativeness.

But finally, I got over the wall.

What’s changed? Well, I started writing this one in third person. It’s not something I usually do. I have done it. Flash fics in particular, but a couple of shelved books too. I love first person a lot. I love reading it and I love writing it. And because I saw things clearly from both MC’s POVs, I was going to try my hand at alternating first for this one. But that was one of the things that wasn’t quite right, wasn’t’ quite working. And so I was at a loss.

In the end, I thought what the hell. Give it a go in third and see what happens. And it’s working. I’m actually making progress! Check the word meter. Those are all words I wrote this past weekend. And I’m enjoying it. It’s definitely taking a shift in my thought process, but it’s working and I love these guys all over again.

The next book on my docket needs to be in third as well. That one also has a publisher deadline, and since it’s for a specific line, I don’t have a choice for the tense. Which is fine, because I enjoy the crap out of that too. Maybe it’s not my preferred tense, but it definitely adds something to the story.

Will I switch to third permanently? No, I don’t think so. I love first person narratives too much. But now I’m a lot more comfortable writing in the tense that the story calls for. Hearts and Hazelnuts calls for it. Ghostwalker does too. And who knows what else will in the future.

But finally, after a very rough start, I’m making progress. And I’m loving it.

It’s been a long time in the works….the writing…the working out the cover…the edits…and I still don’t have a nailed down date for release, exactly, but soooon! And in the meantime?

Actor Alex Lockhart’s career is in a good place. The roles are coming in, the work is steady, and everything is falling into place. Even his sex life, since Alex finally hooked up with another hot actor, Spencer Johns, and Spencer pushes every one of Alex’s buttons. Just when Alex is on the verge of landing an exciting role, he learns the part went to Spencer. And Spencer didn’t even bother to mention he was up for the part.

Feeling furious and betrayed, with one punch Alex takes their sudden feud public. Hollywood is abuzz with their rivalry. But when a chance at a great independent movie comes up, Alex can’t turn down the role, even if Spencer is also slated to be in it. Beneath his outward hate and loathing for Spencer simmers hurt and a desperate want Alex can’t seem to quell. But as he tries to hold onto the hurt and anger, Alex learns Spencer isn’t quite what he thought. Can burning desire and want be enough to put out the flames of Alex’s rage?

I’m a storyteller, and there’s a certain part of my craft that is instinctual for me. Not only the inspiration for plot, that sparking of a story, but the progression of a tale, the growth of the characters, and advancing of the plot, which just comes naturally to me.

I work hard at what I do. I’m constantly evolving as a writer, learning about the craft, honing my skill, and striving to improve. I’m always working to perfect my author’s voice, to let it grow and change as I do. But there’s a base level that works without conscious thought.

As I’m proofing His Needs, I’m reminded rather strongly of how a story evolves. But as I think back on it, I remember how it wasn’t a conscious choice, or at least it didn’t feel like it.

In this case, I’d sent the publisher a little two paragraph blurb, a very short synopsis of what I wanted this story to be to reserve a spot in the holiday line up. At this point, I’d barely started writing it. I think I, maybe, had five thousand words. From there, I wrote my rough outline (my process for which I’ve never really talked about. Perhaps another blog post.) and had the basics of the story. After that, I jumped in and started putting the words on the page. The story built and built. And with each passing chapter, I watched the word count climb, my characters evolving and getting closer…and the boys STILL not having sex.

It’s funny to me now, looking back. But at the time, I kept writing the words, knowing in my soul it just wasn’t time for them to get to it yet. And when they finally admitted their interest, I thought we’d finally get to the sex. But nope. It took them even longer to get to the physical point. When it happened, I just knew it was finally the right place for the guys to take that step. But I didn’t consciously chose the arc, it just felt right.

I also didn’t consciously choose Noah’s filthy mouth in the bedroom, but that felt right too.

There’s a lot about this story I shaped on purpose. Picking certain words, omitting others, using certain imagery to invoke specific feelings in my readers. But there’s also parts that just felt like they happened. That evolved naturally because of who the characters are. Who I am. I suppose that’s the reason I’m a writer in the first place.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And Noah really does have a filthy mouth. 😉

So once again I’ve gone a little MIA, so I’d like to take a little time and fill you in on what’s been going on.

GRL is just five days away, and while I won’t be going (for a number of personal reasons), I will have a small presence there. I think I’ve mentioned a time or two that I knit. (I crochet as well) So I sent a little something along with a friend for the annual Cock Walk. So if you’re attending, have a great time, and maybe check out my contribution. —–>

Something Like Want is off for edits. Looking forward to getting that one back and making it the shiniest it can be. I’m still intending for the end of the month release. I have a gorgeous cover, which I’ll share very soon along with the blurb. My plan is to release this one exclusively on Amazon as part of KU for 90 days, and then go with the wide release. More details coming soon!

His Needs is still looking like it’ll be released mid-December, and I’m super excited for this one to hit the shelves as well. It’s all my favorite things wrapped up into one package and I loved writing it and editing it and the characters and just every bit about it. Holidays and friends to lovers and care taking. Again, I’ll give you more details as things get firmed up and the time gets closer.

I’ve broken ground on the next story! Hearts and Hazelnuts is coming along nicely. Check the word meter in the WIPs tab to stay updated on my progress. I’ve chosen 30k as the goal words here because right now, that’s what it feels like it’ll be. And I say feels like because I don’t have an exact way to figure out how long a story will be. It literally just “feels” like a certain length. It’s not set in stone, and when the story is done, it will be done. Whether that’s at 15 or 30 or 50K. (though no more than 50 because that’s the max limit) But yeah, I’m shooting for 30-ish.

So that’s where I’m at, writing wise.

Personal life has been intruding a bit, as the EDJ moved to a new location and it’s been one mess after another. But we’re sorting it out and making it work. The new space is so much smaller than the old space, and we are all a lot closer than we used to be. Not to mention, we don’t have as much actual desk space as we used to. It certainly been an adjustment. We’ve been there just one week. It still feels unreal. But also, it’s been a long time coming, and considering the upheaval that work has been for the past year, it almost feels like it’s the last leg of an incredibly taxing journey. We’re in the home stretch and hopefully now, things will settle.

So that’s all the big stuff. Hope all is well with you, and check back here if you’re looking for info and updates from me.

In a burst of words this past weekend, I finished writing a short novella. And I adore the ever living crap out of it. It’s sweet and fluffy and I got to really embrace that whole thing. I adore both the characters so much I can’t even decide who is my favorite. Eli, as the narrator, has a special place in my heart. But Chase, oh, there are moments when he just steals my heart completely. Not to mention, there’s also a secondary character who just makes me grin. So I adore it a lot and I need to make it pretty and tweak it and fix some stuff. I’ve got time before deadline and I want to make it the best story it can be before that.

Want will be heading to the editor soon and I’m super excited about getting this story out there to you. There are moments when I actually think it’s my favorite (though I think that about different parts of every book in the series) and I hope you all will enjoy it as well. Alex and Spencer…man, their story has been such a long time coming and it was a little bit of a departure for me. I love it though. As it stands now, this is the last book in the series. Though I do have an idea about a potential fifth book, I’m not going to make any plans for it now. I won’t say never.

And then there’s the fact that I now know more about hazelnuts, and the farming and processing of them, than I ever thought possible. Why hazelnuts, you ask? My next project is to write a story that takes place on a hazelnut farm in Oregon’s gorgeous and lush Willamette Valley. If all goes according to plan, it’ll be my contribution to Dreamspinner Press’s States of Love series. But I have to write it first, and even when I do the pub might not contract it, so nothing is yet written in stone. I spent several hours last night researching, answering the questions I had, jotting down way more information than I’ll ever use in the book, and writing up a general outline. The thing that is different about this one? I see it rather clearly from both MC’s POVs. And though usually when that happens it sorts itself down to just one, I don’t see that happening here. But I love writing first person, and so my intent is to write this one in alternating first. Also not written in stone, but that’s how it feels right now. We’ll see how it all shakes out when I actually start writing it. Which will be soon. I just need to get some other things taken care of first.

At any rate, I’m excited about that one a lot too. Like pumped up fired to get started on it, and on the edge my seat to see how their love story plays out. (Yes, I know, I’m the author and I orchestrate it. But it definitely is different, watching it play out).

So that’s the scoop from me!

I work better with deadlines.

Anyone who knows me might actually be surprised by that. And let’s face it, any time I make plans of any sort, something comes along to just ruin them. So you’d think that deadlines would be my worst enemy.

But nope.

When I have a deadline, I’m actually more productive and more apt to get things done. Often ahead of schedule. Because there’s something forcing me to do it. When there’s an end date, I’m all about getting things finished. Even though I need things to be flexible, need there to be the ability for change, I also need something concrete to work toward. If there’s open ended “whenever you get to it” kind of thing going on, I’m the person that’s going to put it off. Indefinitely. Until it never gets done.

I’m even fairly good at setting and sticking to my own deadlines. Sure, I have the back up of the trusted friend, whom I tell, so there can be ass kicking and someone to hold me accountable. But I need that too.

I have a couple of deadlines at the beginning of next year that will keep me writing solidly through the end of this one. And I’m excited about the upcoming projects, what I’m working on now and what I will be working on soon. And then, perhaps I’ll get back to those other things I’ve planned and want to write. But the stories on deadlines are driving me now and I’m stoked about it.

I had plans. So you know what that means. What it always means.

Over the past months, I’ve had several great ideas for stories. And in the moment, I was gung ho to write them. I was fired up…until the next idea came along. And then I was fired up about that one. There was plotting! I was making headway! Except I had yet to put any words on the page, other than plotting, and I was finding all manner of other things that needed to be done instead. I mean, I was still thinking and making notes, but I wasn’t actually writing.

And then…then I saw a sub call.

I’ve said it before. I like writing to sub calls. Some of my favorite stories have been sparked after having read one. And this is no different. As soon as I read it, I saw the opening scene, and I knew what I wanted to write. I saw down last night and managed more than 2500 words. And that was just the first chapter. These guys have a long way to go on their HEA.

But oh, it feels so good. Because I was at a loss and I was having trouble getting any words at all down on the page. And now they are flowing, and these guys are living in my head. Sometimes I have to think long and hard about what a story should be. Sometimes, like with Want, there are dozens of false starts. And sometimes, sometimes it just happens, easy as anything, and the words just flow.

I hoping it continues. Because I’m already adoring these guys and the larger plot. I don’t want to say too much yet. But it’ll probably be around 15k and the working title is Safe Spaces. And that is where my focus is now.

I haven’t abandoned the other things I’m planning. They are just taking a backseat for now. Because right now, this story is driving. And I’m content to let it.