** And here’s episode 4. If you need to catch up, just hit the serial tag here and you can read all of the adventure. Enjoy!**
I should be freaking out.
It was midnight, I’d just realized I was bi, and that I wanted my neighbor turned best friend. There should be some sort of internal crisis going on. But there wasn’t. Weirdly, I found the realization to be comforting some how. And when I took a few minutes to really analyze why, it was simple. Kyle might be the first man I’d acknowledged my attraction to. He might be the first one that I actually wanted to do something with. But he wasn’t, in fact, the only man I’d ever looked at and considered pretty. And with that thought, everything settled in my brain.
It was sort of like a piece I didn’t know was missing slotted into place. And with that, I took a deep breath and relaxed. So what if I was bi? It didn’t change anything about me. Just who I might have a relationship with. And in this case, that was a very good thing. Because I wanted more than just to hang out with Kyle on the patio, talking with him. I wanted to do that and then kiss him. Touch him. Fuck him.
I just didn’t know how to get there.
Three weeks later, and I was still in limbo. Kyle recovered from his ordeal with no issue. He’d been a little off for a couple of days, but hanging out seemed to fix it. He relaxed and was himself again.
I’d been trying to figure out if he felt anything for me. He’d always been free with his affection, and a touch on the arm or his hand ruffling my hair wasn’t anything new. But I spent so much time just watching him, trying to see if there were signs, that he kept asking me what was wrong.
“Seriously,” Kyle said, a bemused sort of grin on his face. “What is with you?”
“Nothing.” I didn’t know why I just didn’t come out and say something. Maybe before that whole thing happened to him, I might have. But I didn’t want him to think I was being forceful. “I’m just tired. What were you saying?”
“I knew you weren’t listening.” Kyle chuckled and threw me a fond look. He sipped his wine and then sighed happily after swallowing. “And I was saying that I have a date Friday.”
My blood ran cold and he had my complete and undivided attention. “What?”
“Yeah,” he said and smiled. “Jane…you remember, my friend Jane from work. Anyway. Jane has this friend, and he’s exactly my type, so she was telling him about me and me about him, and we decided to meet. We’re getting together for drinks.”
For a split second, I froze. He seemed happy about it. But I knew this was the moment I had to speak or forever lose my chance.
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
My words came out soft, and for a second, I wasn’t sure Kyle had even heard. Then he turned to me, his brows creased in confusion. He set his glass down very carefully on the table between us.
I cleared my throat. “I…I don’t want you to go out with that guy.”
He squinted. “Why not?”
“Because I want you to go out with me.” The words were rushed, but Kyle heard them.
“Friday night? You’ve got something you need my help with?” He was so confused. I heard it in his voice.
“Uh, no. I mean…” I let out an explosive sigh. “I want to date you. I don’t want you going out with someone else. I want you with me.”
Kyle went very quiet and I held my breath until he spoke again. “I don’t understand.”
“Yeah you do,” I responded softly.
“But you’re straight.”
I shook my head. “Bi.”
“Huh. You never said.”
It sounded a little bit like an accusation. And I got it. I did. He’d told me he was gay, and I’d implied I was straight. How did I explain that I’d been denying the knowledge of my own sexuality? It hadn’t been on purpose, but I’d still ignored it. I wavered for a few minutes and Kyle’s frown grew. So I took a deep breath and told him everything.
He listened quietly, nodding occasionally but never interrupting. After I was done, he still didn’t speak. I got fidgety and had to clasp my hands together to keep them from shaking. As the silence stretched, the crackle of the fire and the burble of the pond all I could hear, my worry grew enough that I finally spoke.
“If you’re not…” I cleared my throat and tried again. “If you’re not interested, I’ll understand. We, us, this doesn’t have to change. I would never–”
I stopped because Kyle stood so fast, and before I could figure out why, he was in front of me, his hands on the side of my neck. He looked down at me, and I got lost in his deep gaze. I couldn’t read his expression. Then he swept his thumb along my jaw and I shivered.
“I was hoping,” he whispered. “I tried not to, because falling for the straight friend is such a bad idea. But you…I wanted you. And you came when I called and you hugged me so tight.”
I turned my head and kissed his palm, then looked up at him again. His face was much closer, and I parted my lips. Kyle’s mouth kicked up into a sexy grin, and then he closed the last few inches between us.
He tasted like his wine and the steak we’d had for dinner, and I groaned and pulled him closer. He came easily, collapsing down into my lap as he wound his arms around my neck. It was all heat, and lips and tongue, and I couldn’t stop even when I needed to breathe. A quick gulp of air and I dove in again, devouring his mouth as though it was the last drink of water and I was parched.
After a while, Kyle gentled the kiss, sweet little nips of his teeth and tiny licks of his tongue. He pulled back and my gaze immediately dropped to his kiss swollen mouth. God, he was so damn gorgeous and with that mouth and the firelight playing across his features? I could have stayed right in that moment forever.
“So,” he husked. “A date?”
I chuckled and kissed him again, quick but full of heat. “Yes. A date.”