Writer’s Dilemma

I spend most of my time lost in thought.  I think that that’s a safe assumption about most authors.  There’s always a story going on in my head.  The littlest thing can trigger a scene.  A conversation, or just a phrase, can spark a plot bunny.  For me this happens all the time.  But then the tricky part, the hard part, is figuring out what can be used and what is complete and utter shit.

Admittedly, I have a hard time with this.  When something strikes in my brain, I’m off and running and I’ve often built a whole world/story/plot around one little thing.  But then, the problem surfaces when I try to get it on the page.  Nothing works out like I wanted it to and I have to scrap it.  Fortunately, for me, this usually happens early on.  When I’m in the plotting stage, mostly.

I like to hand write notes.  I have atrocious handwriting, to be sure.  And honestly, about a quarter of the time, I have no idea what I’ve actually written down.  Then it becomes a bit of a game to try and figure out what I meant to say.  Most of the time, I do figure it out.  But not always.  And sometimes, it becomes better when I can’t read my notes and have to figure it out all over again.

I’m having trouble with my current work in progress.  No matter how many times I look at it, it all comes out the wrong way.  And I’m not sure if I just haven’t found the solution yet or if I need to scrap it and start again with a different premise.  I’m over thinking, second guessing, wondering if the fact that it’s a contemporary is the problem.  Should I write it third person instead of first?  Should I jump into the paranormal?  How about Sci Fi or Fantasy?  Should I build a new world?  Or should I just stop fretting so hard and go with the flow?  What’s the problem and what’s the fix?

It’s not normally such a challenge for me.  I can usually just write, and maybe it’s crap and it’ll never see the light of day, but I don’t usually hang on to something so tight when it’s not working.

At any rate, the little progress bar over there on the left is taunting me.  It’s been where it is for quite a long time.  I’ve cut things and reworded and changed things around, and its still only 7% done.  No matter what I do.  And I still can’t decide if that means this story was no meant to be told, or if I just haven’t found the right angle.

I write because I must.  But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.