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Coming Soon!

Kristbethke

I know, I know. I’ve been absent for quite a while. I haven’t been around much on the web in general, and there’s a whole host of reasons for that. But none of that matters. Hopefully, y’all haven’t forgotten me entirely. And I’m here to bring you news!

Last fall, Tia Fielding and I started planning a book together. Almost instantly, it became a duology, a story each for a pair of brothers. And now there will be three books (in total? I’m not sure. But three books definitely, as a secondary character spoke up the instant we put him on page, and now he needs a books too). We finished the first book, and it will soon hit shelves! Probably this week, so keep your eyes peeled for links.

Rebuilding Charlie is the first book in the Black Dog Inn series. Its a bit angstier than I normally write, but if you’ve read Tia’s work (and you should! Because I love their stories! If you want recs, lemme know), you’ll be a bit more familiar with the tone. It’s still fluffy in places. There’s still lots of love and hope and all that good stuff. But there’s also some heavier themes as well including cis body dysmorphia, parental and ex-partner emotional/mental abuse, religious trauma, and suicidal ideation (only briefly mentioned). Definitely check out the preview of the book to see a full list.

We had a blast writing this book, and Tia and I played off each other really well. Writing back and forth was fun, and we fell in love with these boys, the fictional town of Fairville, and the host of secondary characters. We’re already writing book 2, Renovating Law, and having just as good a time.

Before I leave you with the blurb and cover for Rebuilding Charlie, let me catch you up on some other things.

I am finally getting the finishing touches done on Unfamiliar, the second book in the Mages’ Mates series (for those of you who know, that’s Lane and Walker’s book) I’m expecting to send that to the beta and editor today (heads up, Admiral! ;)) and so it should be just a few weeks until that hits shelves too. And I have a loose plot for More Than Familiar, which is Aeron’s story, but it’s only the highlights I want to hit since I’m pretty much a panster. Aeron’s story is the one that brings several pieces together that happened in the first two, that readers might not even know were connected, and I’m super excited to tuck into that.

And the last thing I wanted to mention is that it is my fervent hope to bring back Flash Fic Fridays (probably as serial stories, because you know how much I love them) as soon as this week. I’ve let those get away from me in the face of…everything else. But I do very much enjoy them and I know most of you do as well.

Anyway, that’s all I have for now. As I said, I’ll post when Rebuilding Charlie goes live, so you have an easy click click if you’d like to get it. Watch this space. And without further ado, check out this lovely cover and blurb!

One day at a time, one cupcake at a time, I was determined to win him over.

Charlie Caldwell has hit a breaking point. With more than just his mental health on the line, he makes the decision to move across the country to work for his best friend, leaving his brother and niblings behind. A new start isn’t going to fix him. His dysmorphia isn’t going to magically go away. But his hope is that being in a new place and going no contact with his toxic mother will at least allow him to breathe. 

Teague Mulligan might look like a lumberjack, but he’s really a marshmallow. And he likes it that way. He’s a doer, a fixer, and his wide shoulders are big enough to handle any problem. He’s always going to put himself between the world and the people he loves. But when he first meets Charlie, Teague doesn’t make a great first impression. Fortunately, he gets a chance to apologize and explain. Though Teague is immediately attracted to Charlie, he recognizes the other man has built walls around himself. Teague vows to go at Charlie’s pace, even if friendship is the only thing he can have.

The more they get to know each other, the more the attraction blooms. But Charlie’s past trauma keeps him from leaping. As much as he likes Teague, he knows the road blocks his mental health puts in the way. But Teague is as patient as he is kind, and as the days go on, trust is built. Slowly and surely, Charlie lets Teague in. Neither Charlie nor Teague were looking for love, but day by day, and cupcake by cupcake, love is exactly what they find.

new release

New Release–Free Today Only!

Kristbethke

As the title says, I have a new book out today! And for today only, Friday, December 22, it’s free! Follow this link and you can pick it up at no cost to you! After that, it’ll go on sale at all the usual places.

This book gave me some trouble. I’d had Bran in my head for a long time, and I was just trying to find the right story for him. When I finally did, I wrote half the book and then hit a wall. So it sat. For months. Doing absolutely nothing and I was sure that I didn’t have the right story. I tried several different iterations (and several other stories) before I revisited this one. And lo and behold, the rest of the words flowed. Introducing Bran and Gage, the witch and his wolf shifter mate!

As a favor to his brother, witch Bran Corbin agrees to host a wolf shifter pack for their winter solstice celebration. But Bran’s entire life turns upside down when meeting the wolves and recognizing one as his soulmate. For Gage Harrison, the connection is also instant. But shifters finding a mate is nothing surprising. A witch’s soulmate is something else altogether. Because the bond is not just for this lifetime, but for all the lives that have come before.

Bran may have been raised by raven shifters, but he’s not one himself. Not only does he need to figure out how to navigate pack politics, but he has to convince Gage of just how deep their connection goes. There’s no denying the instant attraction and affection between the two men, and both Bran and Gage readily accept that. With Bran’s emotions running higher because of the new bond, a pack of wolves in his space, and solstice looming, Bran is a bit overwhelmed. That doesn’t stop him from seeing Gage’s heart and wanting to solidify their connection.

But in order for the bond to fully form between them, Bran needs to see their past. Gage, on the other hand, isn’t sure about magic he isn’t familiar with. It’ll take patience and conversation before Gage is on board, but when they finally take that step, their lives are irrevocably changed. Solstice is the first day of their new forever.

If you get a chance to pick it up, I hope you enjoy these two, and the pack, as much as I do. There’s fate and magic and love, and all the warm and fuzzy feels you can expect from one of my books. Plus some holiday celebration and a whole host of side characters to make the story fun. Happy reading!

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Worth It…Again

Kristbethke

Ten years ago, on this very day, I became a published author. If you’ve been here for any length of time, you might be familiar with my story. Heck, it’s a familiar one for many an author. But for those of you who are new here, let me sum up:

I fell in love with writing at the tender age of ten. Thus began my dream of publishing stories. And even back then, I leaned toward romance (I read far above my age level, I know I’m not the only one!) and always wanted to tell stories of people falling in love. First it was teen romance, and then more Harlequin style stories (like the ones I craftily stole from Oma). Eventually, I also fell in love with fantasy and PNR. When I stumbled into MM romance long about 2009, the stories in my brain shifted as well. But it took my four more years before I finally wrote a story that I thought might be worthy of publishing.

That story was Worth It a short second chance romance about a Christmas tree farmer and the man he loved. I was thrilled when it was picked up, enamored with the process, excited to be a part of the event. It was the beginning of my career and I haven’t stopped since.

Ten years and nearly forty stories later, I’m still here. When the press that shall not be named did what they did, and I got all the rights back to all my titles, I republished them quickly. Except for that first short story. I was a far different writer, and a different person in 2019 than I was in 2013. Better in both aspects, I like to think. And that short story, didn’t quite fit any more. I decided it would keep it in my back pocket and maybe revamp it one day.

Today is that day. Not only has it been re-edited more in keeping with my author’s voice, but an additional 8K words have been added. It’s now twice as long as it was before, bringing it to a novelette length. There’s more of Jack and Ryan, which is awesome, and has a beautiful new cover, done by the amazing Morningstar Ashley. And I thought, what better way to celebrate my tenth anniversary than by republishing the story that started it all.

If you read the original, some minor plot points have changed and, as I said, a whole bunch of new content added. But at it’s heart, it’s till a story about Jack, a man who let’s the love of his life go to pursue his dreams, and Ryan doing exactly that, all while knowing he was coming back for Jack. It’s about how they can move forward with their lives now that they’ve found each other again. And yes, it’s mostly fluffy, with a lot of love and very little angst. With a bit of Christmas magic thrown in.

Jackson Bennett and Ryan Hennigan met and fell in love while Ryan worked on Jack’s family’s Christmas tree farm. Back then, Jack broke his own heart by convincing Ryan to leave and pursue his future. Ryan went, but only after Jack agreed to reunite when Ryan graduated from college. Now, five years later, it’s time, but Jack is convinced Ryan won’t show—and when he does, Jack is certain Ryan can’t possibly want to stay. Ryan, however, has no intention of being anywhere other than in Jack’s arms. Loving each other is easy, but finding a way through challenges to a future together is worth it.

Buy or borrow here!

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Stuff and Things

Kristbethke

There’s a lot going on right now!

Not So Familiar is out and you can get it here if you haven’t already, available to borrow or buy. A reminder that if you read the original version here on the site it has been updated, expanded, and edited. So far, reviews have been pretty positive and I’m loving seeing new people finding Gareth and Owen and enjoying them.

Lane and Walker’s story, now titled Unfamiliar, is getting the polish treatment right now. Or about to anyway. It will also be expanded and edited, and hopefully available in January. That’s the goal right now, though I don’t have a specific date as of yet. So watch this space for news on that front.

And for those of you wondering, yes Aeron will also be getting a story. For a long time, I was having trouble sorting out some particular plot points and I really wanted to do that story justice. But with a little conversation recently, as well as a lightbulb moment, I have figured it out. I’m excited to get working on that. Working title is More Than Familiar and it’s going to have some twists some may not see coming. I think it’ll round out the trilogy nicely.

As for more in that world…well, I have ideas but we shall see 😉

In other news, I have a release next month! Soulmate for Solstice is out December 22nd. I don’t have links or anything to share yet because it goes live that day, will be free for that day only, and then will be up for sale. It’s part of the JMS Books Advent Calendar, where a new release will be free to download from the site each day leading up to Christmas. I’ll provide more details once the event gets underway, as well as links. It’s about a witch who was raised by raven shifters and a wolf shifter who belongs to a new pack, finding each other and realizing they are mates. I’m sure the storyline doesn’t surprise a lot of you! Blurb and cover coming soon.

Next month is my 10 year publishing anniversary! I have something special planned and, though I hate to say it, details coming soon. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years and 30 some odd stories since I began this journey. If you’ve been around for any length of time, you might know that it’s always been a dream of mine to be a published romance author. And now here I am, doing it full time (at least for now, though that probably will change). I’ve always loved telling stories, and love stories are my favorite. I have stories from multiple subgenres, and I continue to explore characters and plots that intrigue and excite.

And the last bit of news I have to share is about my co-authored project. Tia Fielding and I have teamed up to write (hopefully and at least) a duology to share with you. We’re hard at work on the first one, and have hit the home stretch. We both adore this story, the MCs, and the diverse cast of characters we’ve created. There’s feels and sweetness, fun and emotion. It’s set in a small town, it has several tropes we both love, and we’re really enjoying it. I think you will too. It’s also much longer than my usual fair, so that’s something to look forward to as well.

Oh and one more thing! I’m now over on Blue Sky Social, if you want to follow me there.

So I think that’s it for now. I’ll definitely post updates as I have them. And make sure you’re following me here or on a social so that you don’t miss anything. Also expect more Flash Fic Fridays in the near future. In the meantime, stay safe and happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate!

Flash Fic Friday

Flash Fic Friday

Kristbethke

**Nost So Familiar is out in the world! Have you checked it out yet? It’s an expanded and edited version of the story once here. I have plans to release the next one in a couple of months, and I’m beginning work on book three. But in the meantime, how about a little snippet from Gareth and Owen’s current life? Enjoy!**

I loved Owen. I loved his family. I loved this pack and the life we were creating. I was happy and content and all the good things that, for most of my life, I didn’t really experience. If it weren’t for my brother, my life would have been unbearable. But now things were so damn good it was scary.

Like actually scary. Because I was waiting for something to come and take it all away.

I’d never really thought I was a fatalist, and maybe I hadn’t been before. But after the past few months, I didn’t think anyone could blame me for the change in my thinking. Everything we’d been through would be enough to put anyone on edge.

I was fine when Owen was close. He was my mate and familiar, and that meant he protected and cared for me. And though I knew I was perfectly capable of doing all that for myself, having him nearby gave me extra reassurance. But he’d gone back to work, and though I didn’t begrudge him that at all, it made me a bit twitchy to be alone all day.

Logically, I knew the threats to me were gone. There was no way I was in any sort of danger. And when I buried myself in my own work, ensconced in my workroom with even more protections, I could function just fine. But it was always a relief when Owen got home at the end of the day.

As if my thoughts conjured him—and maybe they had, considering our bonds—Owen stuck his head through the workroom door and gave me a smile. I immediately set down my pestle and mortar and crossed to him. He didn’t hesitate to pull me into his arms. For a minute or two, I just soaked him in, his warmth and his smell, and then kissed him liked he’d been gone for eight days instead of eight hours.

“Hi,” I murmured when I pulled back, smiling at the way he was looking at me. I always felt like the center of his universe when he looked at me like that.

“Hello, there.” He kissed me again, quick and easy. “Ready to go?”

I blinked. “Where we going?”

“Come on.” The mischievous grin could mean any number of things, but since I trusted him completely, I wasn’t worried.

Shoes, coat, scarf, and then we were out the door. He gave me a boost into his pick up, even though I didn’t need it, just because he liked touching my butt. I chuckled as he shut the door and rounded the hood to climb in.

It only took me two minutes to figure out where we were going. There wasn’t much on this side of town, and the only reason we ever came this way was to meet up with the pack at their running grounds. Annalise’s territory was vast and partially encompassed a national forest, but the meeting grounds was a wide open space with a pavilion and plenty of parking.

The pack was already there. At least most of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if a few more filtered in because I saw a few missing cars. It was easy to spot Owen’s parents, talking with the alpha and her husband. My brother was also there, Remy on his shoulder and his every present wolf bodyguard Marco, a silent specter standing behind him.

The real question was why everyone was there. It wasn’t a full moon. Even though shifters were obligated to shift with the full moon, it still called to them and was as good a time as any to have monthly pack meetups. And as far as I was aware, there wasn’t anything to celebrate. No birthdays this week or new pairings. Nothing that we usually got together for. So why?

“Owen?”

He grinned, and shrugged one shoulder. “You’ve had a rough week. You need to get out. So.” He gestured with one hand even as he shut off the engine with the other. “Out.”

I was touched but also a bit embarrassed, and the two emotions warred within me. “There’s no reason to get everyone to drop whatever they’re doing to—”

“Gareth. Get out of the truck.” Owen’s laugh was warm and even though I was still embarrassed, I did as he said.

Annalise’s head snapped up, and she grinned wide as she strode toward us. I hurried to meet her half way, not wanting the alpha to be the one to come to me. That wasn’t right. She immediately pulled me into a tight hug and scented my neck by swiping her wrist a long my skin.

“You all right?” she asked, gaze searching but warm.

“I am,” I assured her. She pinned me with a look and I chuckled. “Mostly. I promise. Just thinky thoughts. There was no need for everyone to go to all this trouble.”

Annalise looked confused, her brow creased. She stared at me for a moment, then turned her attention to Owen. Owen, for his part, threw up his hands like I was just so exasperating, but the twinkle in his eye gave him away.

“This is what pack does, love,” Owen said softly. He draped an arm around my waist, pulling me in. “We take care of each other. You need to get out of your head, and maybe be reminded that we’re all here to look out for one another, hm?”

I let that sink in. I was still getting used to that kind of care, because I hadn’t had much of it for most of my life. Only my brother had stood by my side, and it had been the two of us against the world. But now I also had pack. And I needed to remember that.

“Yeah. Maybe.” I leaned against Owen, letting him take my weight.

Annalise squeezed my shoulder. “Come eat. There’s so much food.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

She turned, but when Owen made to follow her, I stopped him with a hand on his wrist. He turned back, brow lifted.

“I love you. Thanks for this.” I moved my hand to clasp his fingers. “I really did need the reminder.”

Owen kissed me. “I love you. I will always do what you need.”

I poked his shoulder with a grin. “And maybe you needed pack time too?”

“Well, yeah. Maybe. But I get it a lot more than you. We need to do better about that.”

I nodded and led Owen toward the pack. They called greetings, and we waved back, joining the throng. It was still a little overwhelming, but comforting in a way that I never expected. Aeron wandered over and stood close, bumping me with his shoulder. Remy bounced over to make kissy noises and press his beak to my cheek.

Owen wrapped his arms around me when I pushed in close, and I let out a contented sigh. I took it all in, unable to stop the smile, and realized I was exactly where I was meant to be. The path to get here hadn’t been easy but it all culminated in a happily ever after that, until a few months ago, I’d never let myself hope for. But now, with Owen by my side and his pack surrounding us, I could have it. And I couldn’t be happier.

Gareth Evans is on his last chance. If he doesn’t manage to call a familiar this time, then the High Council will strip his magic and he will no longer be a mage. Gareth thinks he’s prepared for the worst, but never expects the wolf shifter. Who just so also happens to be his mate. Owen might be a surprise, but he’s exactly what Gareth needs.

Solidifying their bonds would be a whole lot easier if the High Council wasn’t breathing down their necks. With their bond on the line, Gareth and Owen take a stand. If they want their bond to continue, they have to fight for it. And that’s only the first hurdle the pair must face.

All Gareth wanted was a familiar, but he got so much more in Owen. Their bond is strong, Gareth’s magic is growing, and Owen’s support and care mean everything to Gareth. Just as things seem to be settling, a new threat emerges from an unexpected place. With Owen by his side, Gareth can do what is necessary. Love and a mate were the last things Gareth anticipated, but what started out as not so familiar has become the mage’s everything.

Get it here!

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Out Now

Kristbethke

Gareth Evans is on his last chance. If he doesn’t manage to call a familiar this time, then the High Council will strip his magic and he will no longer be a mage. Gareth thinks he’s prepared for the worst, but never expects the wolf shifter. Who just so also happens to be his mate. Owen might be a surprise, but he’s exactly what Gareth needs.

Solidifying their bonds would be a whole lot easier if the High Council wasn’t breathing down their necks. With their bond on the line, Gareth and Owen take a stand. If they want their bond to continue, they have to fight for it. And that’s only the first hurdle the pair must face.

All Gareth wanted was a familiar, but he got so much more in Owen. Their bond is strong, Gareth’s magic is growing, and Owen’s support and care mean everything to Gareth. Just as things seem to be settling, a new threat emerges from an unexpected place. With Owen by his side, Gareth can do what is necessary. Love and a mate were the last things Gareth anticipated, but what started out as not so familiar has become the mage’s everything.

It’s live! If you’ve been waiting for the expanded and edited version of Gareth and Owen’s story, you can get it now. For now, it’s only available on Amazon, but it’s in KU as well, so if you have subscription you can enjoy it for no additional cost.

There’s additional content, more scenes than I put here, and has been cleaned up and polished. And check out that cover by Morningstar Ashley! Isn’t it great? I love it, and I think it perfectly captures Gareth and Owen (in his shifted form obviously). I loved revisiting these guys, and am working on Lane and Walker’s story now, so look for that in the coming months. Hopefully, there will be more to come after, as we have a few characters who want their story told as well. 🙂

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Stuff and Things

Kristbethke

Sometimes when life throws you a curveball, unexpected good comes out of it. And sometimes, with that good, there’s still some processing that needs to be done.

I was laid off. From that new job that seemed to be going so well. Halfway through my fifth week on the job, suddenly there was more restructuring and they “last in, first out” -ed me. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I was so shocked in fact I could do little more than just stare and say okay, grab my bags and leave. In hindsight it didn’t make any sense, given the state of things there, and I realized there was probably something else afoot. I could speculate for hours about what but there’s really no point. Ultimately, I was out of a day job.

So, as you can imagine, this took, and is still taking, some mental processing. On the upside, it couldn’t have happened at a better time for me financially. There are multiple reasons for that, but the bonus part is I didn’t, and don’t, have to look for another day job right this minute. I, for the first time, can focus on my writing full time. I highly doubt that will last forever, but for the moment, it can be. It’s something I’ve always wanted and I can indulge in that a bit.

So what does that look like? Well, I’ll have a book out this December with JMS Books, a holiday story that focuses on mates that I really adore. More details on that, and the event, when the time draws closer. I will tell you it’s called Soulmate for Solstice and there’s magic and shifters.

In other news, I’m working on revamping the Mages’ Mates stories and self publishing them. I have some spectacular covers I’ll share soon. They are in the process of getting more words added, and then they’ll get a good edit. Then I’ll put them out in the world for reader enjoyment. I’m still noodling Aeron’s story, and if there’s interest, Archer could be up for a story of his own. Weigh in in the comments if you wanna see that.

I’m also working on another project that I hope to release this December as well, but bear with me as I keep that a secret a little bit longer. 🙂

The other thing going on is I’m cowriting a book (or two) with fellow author Tia Fielding. We have plans and I think you’re going to like them. As we’re in the very early stages, I don’t have many details to share. Only that we’re planning and plotting, and have begun writing. We both adore these guys, and the way the story is shaping up.

Basically, there’s a bunch of good stuff coming in the next few months. And if I can really focus, some even more exciting things coming after that. As per usual, it’ll be a mix of PNR and contemporary romance. Maybe some D/s thrown in the mix. I have about 9 zillion plot bunnies, and like gremlins, if you get them wet they multiply and if you feed them after midnight they get teeth. So I just need to figure out which ones need a bath, and which ones need to be fed…and which ones need to be left alone so they don’t do either.

It’s all good, for now, and I’m working on bringing you plenty to read.

Flash Fic Friday, Serial

Flash Fic Friday

Kristbethke

**Episode 4, finally, for Elliott and Killian and this is the last one. It’s just a beginning for them, but this is where my telling of their story ends. I’ll put up another post on another day explaining some of the things in my life and where things are going for me. But for now, enjoy!**

fff

Killian was bloody and bruised when he returned. I’d been anxiously waiting, along with most of the pack. He’d gone with several enforcers and representatives of the Shifter Council, intending for a peaceful resolution but expecting the worst. By the look of the alpha, it hadn’t gone easily.

I knew my old alpha was dead. I’d felt it the instant the pack bonds broke. And there was grief in that, but also so much relief. Then it became a waiting game, anticipating Killian’s return. When he got out of the car, and I saw him, panic threatened for just a moment. But he was whole and what few injuries he had would heal quickly once he shifted again.

Everly tried to hold me back, but she couldn’t. I ran to him, throwing myself into his arms, not caring that he was a mess. Not caring that it was my old alpha’s blood, and probably some of his own. I needed to touch, to scent, and I couldn’t explain it. But I didn’t care. Killian was home and I needed.

Killian didn’t hesitate to gather me up, hold me close, and bury his nose against my neck. And that was the moment it hit me, with him holding me so tightly and his scent all I could smell. The reason I’d felt safe with him right from the start, even when I’d been scared, even when I couldn’t talk, even when his actions accidentally caused a trauma response. He was my mate.

I started shaking, but Killian just squeezed me tighter. And even though he was probably hurting and even though other pack members were speaking, asking questions, Killian ignored them all, lifted me so I could wrap my legs around him, and carried me into the house. He didn’t stop, not even a moment’s pause, and headed straight for his bedroom, kicking the door closed behind us. He tried to set me down, but I whimpered, clinging tighter, so he sat on the bed, still holding me.

“Mine,” I whispered, awe and worry coursing through me.

“Yeah.” Killian’s voice was just as soft, but a lot more confident. He brushed my hair back and kissed my temple. “Yeah. I was hoping, if that bastard’s bonds to you were broken, you’d feel it.”

I lifted my head then, so quickly I nearly clipped his chin. But Killian moved his head at the last second. I squinted at him. “Is that why you went after him?”

“Not the only reason.” The truth rang in his words. “But one of them, yeah. He needed to pay for what he did to you, and others. He needed to be stopped. And I would have done it anyway. But the hope for you to feel our bond? That was a big motivator.”

“You didn’t say anything. You didn’t tell me.”

Killian smiled, a soft, affection expression sweeping across his face. “And I wouldn’t have. It was more important that you are safe and cared for. If you never recognized it, we would have kept on as we were. But I’m glad you did. Do.”

“I don’t know how I feel about…everything,” I admitted softly.

“That’s okay. We’ll take our time. Of course we will.” He rubbed my back with a soothing sweeping motion. Then he gave me a cheeky grin. “Do you think you can let go of me long enough for me to get cleaned up?”

My first reaction was to cling more tightly, but then I realized that he really was a mess and probably wanted to wash up pretty badly. I had to talk myself into sliding off him, but after a minute or two, I stood on my own two feet.

“You’ve got blood on you now too.”

I cocked my head, studying him, not quite sure where he was going with that. He’d just said we could take things slowly, but was he suggesting we cleaned up together? That seemed at odds with his previous intent and that wasn’t like Killian.

He stood, crossed to his dresser, and pawed in the drawers for a moment. Then he turned and handed me a shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He nodded his head toward the bathroom.

“Change and wash the blood off. I’ll be right here.”

I did as he asked, nearly tripping over my feet in my haste. It wasn’t so bad because the blood had mostly dried so there wasn’t a ton of transfer to me. My jeans were actually still clean. But since Killian had given me the clothes, I changed as soon as I wiped the blood off my forearms and face. He was only a little bit bigger than me, so while the clothes were baggy, they weren’t falling off. I pulled the drawstring on the pants tight, and emerged a few minutes later.

Killian’s gaze darkened, his pupils blowing wide, as he stared at me. Then he shook his head like he was clearing his thoughts, picked up his own pile of clothes, and headed into the bathroom. A moment later, I heard the shower turn on.

I sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the closed door, and tried to get my brain online. My old alpha was dead. My former pack was, no doubt, disbanded. Those who were innocent were being sent to rehab with other packs. Those who were guilty would be punished. Everly had explained it all to me, how it would go. They no longer had a hold over me. I was safe and cared for and, just possibly, loved. It was a novel concept I couldn’t quite wrap my brain around, even after living with this pack for more than a month. And I had a mate.

Killian walked out,  drying his hair with a towel, while I was still trying to process all the information. He tossed his towel toward the bathroom where it landed on the floor with a plop, and then sat at the end of the bed, got comfortable, then opened his arms.

“Come cuddle?”

I practically dove into his arms. Both of us let out a contented sigh, and then Killian chuckled. “It’s going to take time, and work, but we’ll get where we need to be. And we go at your pace, all right? There’s still a lot you need to work through. But I’m here for you. So is the pack.”

“When I ran, I thought I was going to die,” I said, after a few minutes contemplative silence. Killian squeezed me tighter. “I didn’t think I could trust you, or the pack. I didn’t think I would ever feel safe again.”

“And now?” he whispered.

“Now I know I was meant to be here. And I do. Trust you and feel safe. But I think it’s going to take time to really feel it, down to my bones. And now the whole mate thing. It makes sense but also…” I shrugged as much as I could. “It’s a lot.”

“Yeah. But you’ll be okay.”

I nodded, wanting to believe it so badly that I almost did. Suddenly, I didn’t feel like talking anymore. Or thinking.

“I wanna shift.”

Killian looked down at me, brows raised. “You want to run?”

“No, just…shift and…dog pile.”

If Killian thought it was a weird request, he didn’t show it. He simply stood up and pulled off the clothes he’d just put on. I did the same and then we both changed into our wolf skin. Then Killian hopped up on the bed and curled up, leaving the perfect spot for me. I hesitated, then joined him, fitting myself against him. Killian licked my muzzle, then settled down, and I tucked my head against my paws.

I was warm and safe. The bad man couldn’t get me anymore. And my mate was by
my side, giving me cuddles. I was a long way from healed, but I finally felt like it was possible, that someday, I’d be whole again. That my life would be good. Killian would make sure of it.

 

Flash Fic Friday, Serial

Flash Fic Friday

Kristbethke

**Episode 3 comin’ atcha! I know it’s been a minute, again. Stuff, life…you know how it be. Sometimes I get in my own way. But here we are, with the wolves again, and our sweet Elliott who is trying to heal. And the big, strong Alpha who will help him. Enjoy!**

The weird thing was, I found myself seeking out Killian’s company. At first, I ignored it completely. Because of course I couldn’t just hang out with the alpha whenever I wanted to. He was important and necessary. I was coming to actually trust that he had the well being of his pack at the forefront of everything he did—because after a month of seeing it constantly, there was no way to deny it—that didn’t mean I could just follow him around like a puppy.

Weirder still was that, not only did he come find me regularly throughout the day, but he never seemed to mind when we just spent time together. He talked sometimes, and I jotted answers or made gestures. Other times we just existed in the same space.

I liked it. I liked it a lot. I liked the whole pack, in fact, and was beginning to truly feel comfortable. There was a part of me that sill feared the other shoe would drop, and they would reveal their true natures—or worse, kick me out to fend for myself—I was settling and learning to trust.

Sort of.

Wolf shifters were pack animals, and we did best as a group. My human brain had been conditioned long ago not to trust, to fear instead. But my wolf side knew better. At least as far as Killian was concerned. My wolf trusted him in a way it had never trusted before. Those instincts had done everything to keep me safe before, and now they were telling me to accept that what I saw and heard and felt here was true.

It was a work in progress still, but I felt better than I had in probably my whole life. I wasn’t any kind of risk taker, but with Everly’s words from the day before in my head, I went looking for Killian.

“It’s okay to want to be near him,” Everly had said, her eyes kind and her voice soft. “If you’re driven to be at his side, trust that. There’s a reason for it. And I promise you, on Mother Moon, it’s okay.”

It still had taken me more than a day and a whole lot of nerve to do it. And even though I was looking for the alpha, I was walking slowly, cautiously, hoping to come across him without having to actively track him down. Somehow I thought that was better.

Eventually, I caught his scent when the wind shifted and my feet headed in that direction without conscious direction from my brain. Around the back of the pack house, down a path, until I found him sitting by himself. He was stretched out on the ground, his back against one of the log benches someone had placed there long ago, his attention on the pond before him. I stopped a good twenty feet away, as soon as I caught sight of him, suddenly unable to make myself get closer. I had no doubt he knew I was there, though.

“You all right?” He asked eventually, turning just his head to look at me.

“Yeah,” I said, so softly he wouldn’t have been able to hear if he was just human.

He went still. I realized I’d actually spoken, for the first time in far too long, and froze too. A heartbeat passed. Then another.

“Well, come on over,” Killian said, trying his best to act like it wasn’t a big deal. I appreciated that more than I could say. I hadn’t been able to make my voice work in so long, there’d been a part of me that thought it was gone for good.

Once again I moved without thought, until I was suddenly right beside him. He patted the ground next to him and I lowered myself, crossing my legs and tucking my hands in my lap. I couldn’t look at him, but that didn’t seem to faze him. I could feel his gaze on me though.

“It seems like you’re finally settling in,” Killian stated quietly. His voice was a soothing rumble. I’d always noticed that. Other than a few times when he’d raised his voice, he always spoke like that. I wasn’t sure if it was for my benefit or that’s how he always was. Either way, I liked it.

I nodded, then took a breath. But when I couldn’t speak, it wasn’t because my voice was gone again. Instead, I had no idea what to say. Killian reached out a hand, offering it to me without any kind of demand. It took me a minute. Maybe two. Then I slid my hand into his.

Killian let out a pleased little rumble and squeezed gently.  “Elliott, we need to talk about your former pack.”

I liked that he considered me one of his now, that the pack I’d grown up in was the before, my past, and that this pack was my future. But then his words really sank in and fear spiked. I turned wide eyes to him and tried to pull away, but Killian held firm. Strangely, it didn’t feel constrictive, only comforting.

“I haven’t pushed,” he said, almost conversationally, his attention back on the water. “It was more important to get you safe and healthy. But the abuse you suffered—” Killian choked off the words and took a slow, calming breath. That I knew was for my benefit and I appreciated it more than I could express. “They need to be stopped.”

“They’ll hunt you,” I whispered, the words scratching my throat as I forced them out.

“Probably.”

“He’s…a very bad man.” It was inadequate, but it was all I could say. I certainly couldn’t utter my old alpha’s name. Just the thought of it made my insides quake.

“I know.” Killian turned his head and offered me a smile that warmed me. “I won’t be alone and I’ll go through proper channels so justice is served.”

I didn’t believe it. I wasn’t the first one that had gotten free over the years, and nothing had ever happened to change things. I used to think that was because the pack managed to hunt down and kill whoever had escaped. But I’d made it. Surely someone else had too.

“I promise you, no matte what, you will be safe. I won’t ever let anyone hurt you again.” Killian tugged gently and I listed sideways. When he tucked me under his arm, I went willingly. The alpha’s embrace was soothing and protective, warm and comforting, and I trusted my instincts and cuddled in.

Killian dropped a kiss on my head. “I swear, Elliott.”

And the conviction was so strong in his voice, I believed him.

Flash Fic Friday, Serial

Flash Fic Friday

Kristbethke

**Episode 2 of Killian and Elliott! Because of course you knew where this was going. But poor Elliott, he’s been through it. Once again, content warning for mentions of abuse. Enjoy!**

I knew from experience that kindness could not be trusted. There was always an ulterior motive. But it was hard to remember when everyone I’d met in this pack was just so darn…nice. Everly checked in on me frequently, always wearing a smile and speaking in a gentle voice. Killian was never far, and though the first dozen or so times he’d appeared, he’s startled the crap out of me, I was getting used to it now. There was Milo who cooked for the pack and offered me at least a twenty options before settling on something to make. He didn’t seem to understand that I wasn’t picky in the least. And Raina who made sure I had the softest clothes and warmest blankets. And Bob who was grizzled and cranky, but sat with me in silence, never expecting me to say a word.

I’d met so many people, and even though I couldn’t remember all their names yet—it had only been a week—they simple reintroduced themselves and asked after my well being and reassured me, time and again, that anything I needed would be provided.

And no one seemed to mind that I couldn’t make my voice work.

Everly assured me it wasn’t physical. Yes, I’d been strangled at some point but my wolf healing had corrected that after a few days. It was a mental block of some sort, something none of us understood, but even if I wanted to talk, I just couldn’t.

But even though I communicated non-verbally and with the small pad of paper I carried around all the time now, no one seemed upset or frustrated with me. Everyone displayed infinite patience, even though it took time for conversations. Much longer than if I could just make my damn voice work.

I had all the evidence before me that this was a kind and caring pack. Not a single wolf sported bruises, everyone was well fed, and projected an air of happy. There was no oppressive weight of fear bearing down, suffocating and constricting. But even though it seemed clear this was actually a good pack—I’d heard they existed—I still couldn’t quite believe it. I was still stuck in fight or flight. Mostly flight. I wasn’t any kind of fighter.

That had been beaten out of me long ago.

Killian appeared in the doorway, as he did, but this time I’d heard him coming. I was pretty sure it was on purpose, because of course he hadn’t missed the way I reacted to him. He gave me a smile and stayed on the other side of the room, making sure there was plenty of distance between us like he always did. At first, I’d thought that it was because he couldn’t stand to be near me, but now I wondered if that was something else.

“Hi.”

I waved.

“You doing all right?”

I nodded and involuntarily hunched down a little, burrowing a little tighter into the fuzzy blanket I currently had wrapped around me. It was safe and warm. But I also readjusted it so that I could get my feet free in an instant if I needed to.

That, too, was not missed by Killian.

“You up for a little conversation?”

I shrugged one shoulder, eyeing him warily as he sauntered into the room. He kept his movements slow and easy, telegraphing his intent to sit on the other end of the huge sectional couch. There was still plenty of space between us so I didn’t feel crowded.

Once he was settled, never taking his gaze off me, he let out a tiny sigh, then rubbed a hand over his face. I studied him, trying to parse out his emotions. Usually, I was a good judge at reading the room and being able to adjust my own reactions accordingly. It was harder with Killian because I wanted to trust him and his intent, but I knew better.

“I’m going to start by saying,” he began, his voice gentle, “that you have a place here no matter what, okay? We’re here to help you and keep you safe. We want you well and healthy and whole. I swear to the goddess.”

I eyed him, still wary, but otherwise didn’t react.

“You were in quite a state when we found you at the edge of our territory. Malnourished and horribly abused. It was touch and go there for a bit. Elliott, what were you running from?”

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I pulled the blanket tighter around my shoulders and slid my feet out from under me.

“Right,” Killian muttered to himself. “Okay, lets try this again. Were you running from your old pack?”

I nodded, slowly and just once, wide eyes never leaving the alpha.

“Did you alpha know this was going on?”

This time my nod was tiny.

The rage that filled Killian’s expression was terrifying, and his voice was guttural when he asked, “Did he do this?”

I started to shake, but at the same time was frozen, unable to move. Suddenly Killian was there, kneeling in front of me, and the only reason I didn’t make a noise was because I knew better. But unlike my previous experiences, Killian didn’t raise a hand or get in my face or scream and yell.

“Elliott, you need to breathe.” His voice was so gentle, so caring, and that was somehow even scarier than if he’d yelled. I knew what to do when someone was yelling. But this what uncharted territory. “Come on, breathe. You’re okay. You’re safe. I swear to you. Breathe.”

Killian suddenly blew in my face, and I involuntarily gasped. Only when it started to recede did I realize the edges of my vision had been going dark. I sucked in another breath, and Killian smiled.

“That’s better. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. My anger was in no way directed at you. I’ll be more careful. But the thought of an alpha abusing their power just because they can makes me rage. Will you tell me who they are so I can take care of it?”

Panic welled up, but this time in fear for Killian’s safety. I didn’t understand the reaction, but I threw out a hand and gripped his forearm, desperate for him not to move, to not go after the alpha who had abused us so.

Killian went still under my touch, then slowly and carefully, set his hand over mine. He squeezed gently, and though I felt all his strength, I knew I could pull away at any moment and he would let me.

“Okay. Okay. We’ll work on that. Let’s just sit here and breathe, okay?”

I nodded, unconsciously matching my breaths to his. And it wasn’t until quite a while later, when I was once again alone, that I realized I’d been more scared for Killian than of him. And that I touched him, and he me, and nothing bad had happened. There was something about the alpha that called to me, made me feel safe.

My head still didn’t trust it. But my heart was another matter.