Day: August 27, 2021

**This one is inspired by a song, shared with me on Twitter from DuncanDaHusky. Running With The Wolves by Aurora from the movie Wolfwalkers. It’s a beautiful song, and this is what popped into my head when I heard it. You can check it out here ! Enjoy**

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Panic ran through my veins, but I did everything I could to keep it at bay. I knew they could hear my pounding heart, smell the fear and sweat, see my shaking limbs. But I tried to keep it contained.

This wasn’t my old pack. There was no abuse and terror here. There was only kindness and affection. Caretaking and joy. This was what a pack was supposed to be. A community. Lifting each other up and looking out for everyone’s needs. Not what I’d spent my childhood in, where fear, pain, and ridicule ruled my every day. Ruled everyone’s lives except those at the very top.

“Breathe, sweetheart.”

Conall’s voice broke though the haze that was threatening to descend, and I sucked in a harsh breath simply because he’d told me to. I startled when he touched me, but didn’t pull away, and he knew enough by now that if he moved slowly and carefully, I relaxed into his touch within seconds. It took a few longer than normal, because my anxiety was high, but within a half a minute, I was curling into his arms.

He immediately hugged me tightly. And I didn’t even panic at the fact that he was holding me as a lover. In my old pack, two men together would have been killed. But not here. Here the alpha cared for each wolf as they were, as the goddess made them. 

I was still getting used to it, even all these months later.

“Tory,” the alpha said, stepping up to us. When he reached for me, I went and Conall only growled a little. Conall still didn’t like anyone touching me—our mating was too new—but he wouldn’t disobey his alpha. And he knew that sometimes, I needed the alpha’s comfort as well. 

Alpha Roan touched my throat, my head, and then squeezed the back of my neck. I relaxed into the hold, finally able to breathe easily. Having my mate and my alpha, both the best of men, right there helped me.

I’d come a long way from the scared, hurt, and bloody shifter I’d been when Conall found me. It had taken months of work with the pack therapist, and talking to my mate to get to where I was. I’d known, even while I was living it, that the way my old pack was run wasn’t right. But there hadn’t been anything I could do. Until Conall found me, got me out, and then, with the help of his alpha, brought down the wrath of the council on that pack. Those who could be rehabilitated and healed were sent to other packs. Those who couldn’t, or who reveled in the abuse, were put to death.

It helped, to know that they couldn’t hurt me or anyone else, ever again.

But in all the time I’d been with Conall and his pack, falling in love with the sweet man who had been so patient to work around my triggers and help me heal, I’d never shifted and run with the pack as a whole. With my mate, yes. For the alpha, I had. But I hadn’t been ready to run with all the wolves.

I was now. Or I thought I was. Until it came down to it. The moon was full, and though it called to us, it didn’t make us shift like in the contemporary tales. But we all felt her call and wanted to run under her light. There was a part of me that wanted to run with the wolves who’d shown me nothing but kindness and patience.

“I can make you, if that’s what you want.” Alpha Roan’s voice held no censure, no judgement. He was just stating a fact, giving me a choice. And for a split second, I considered it. It would be terrifying when it was happening—and would bring up very bad memories—but once it was done, I’d be free to run.

Conall’s snarl stopped that thought in it’s tracks, and the gentle push from the alpha had me wrapping my arms around my mate again. Conall immediately relaxed, though just before I tucked my head against his chest, I saw the side-eye he gave the alpha. Alpha just laughed.

And that, right there, seemed to release something inside me. What was holding me back, that fear and worry, dissipated. If the alpha could laugh at the slight disrespect my mate gave him, it was all going to be fine. I’d seen it countless times, Alpha Roan never taking anything to seriously, joking, laughing, and teasing his pack in a happy, joyful way. There was no discipline for the smallest infraction, imagined or real. I’d known it. But the reminder was exactly what I needed to see.

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I did it again. After a third time, I was ready. I stepped back and smiled.

“I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

Conall studied me for a long second, then glanced at the alpha. Alpha Roan was staring at me too. But it didn’t take them long to suss out I meant what I said. I was ready.

Alpha shifted in a second, his big gray wolf shaking out his fur to settle it. He lifted his head and howled. The wolves who’d already run out responded and I shivered as their howls ululated through the night.

My skin itched to join them. My heart pounded. But all in good ways. I needed to be with them. I was safe with them. With my mate and the good-hearted alpha and the pack who cared for me simply because of who I was to Conall and then, later, because I was me. 

I tore off my clothes, as fast as I could, then dropped to all fours, letting the shift overtake me. skin rippled, muscles bunched and reformed, bones snapped and changed shape. It took seconds, longer than someone as powerful as the alpha, but still not long. And then the scents and sounds and sights became shaper and monochrome. The night came alive in a way my human sense, even though they were enhanced, couldn’t appreciate.

I yipped. Conall shifted when I had, and he was next to me, his wolf bigger than mine. He licked my muzzle, rubbed his face against mine, and I stood still and let him because he needed to make sure I was okay.

I was better than okay.

In the distance, the alpha howled again and this time I lifted my face to the sky and responded. Beside me, Conall’s deep howl joined the chorus. And then we were off, four feet pounding on the hard earth, the scents of crushed grass and pine and leaves wafted up with each sprinting step.

All around me, the other wolves ran with me. Some close, some farther away, but I could feel them. Hear them. I wasn’t alone. And with my mate right beside me, I had no fears to run with them.