Kris T. Bethke–Author of M/M Romance

**Let’s see what Nico and Sean are up to in episode 3! (and thanks to a wonderful, kind tweet from Duncandahusky, I realized I have two Sean’s up on here. They aren’t the same! I just apparently like the name😊) Enjoy!**

Nico was quiet. Far, far too quiet. In a way that I had never seen from him since the moment we moved in. What was worse, he still couldn’t look at me. Even though we were eating, I still usually had his focus. But now it was a glance and gone again. And though, in the past, his intense concentration when we were together could be unsettling on occasion, now I missed it. And I really didn’t like they way it made me feel, telegraphing just how uncomfortable he was.

“Why are you so upset?” I made sure my tone was soft and non-accusatory.

“I don’t…I mean, I’m not sure…” He blew out a breath and pushed his plate away. He was mostly done with his food, so I wasn’t worried about him not having enough calories. If he was hungry again later, I’d make sure he ate. But right now it was obvious we needed to clear the air between us. I turned my chair to face him more fully and waited for him to get his thoughts together.

After several minutes of silence, which weren’t exactly comfortable, I could tell he had no idea what to say. It was up to me to get things moving. Things had gone a little sideways, and my normally self-assured, take charge wolf was at a loss. I needed to help.

“What do you know about human dating?”

Nico shrugged one shoulder, a quick motion. “Nothing.

“Okay.” I tapped my fingers on the table, then realizing I was fidgeting, reached out to him. Nico took my hand so fast I didn’t even register his movement. I smiled. “Usually, when a person is interested in someone, they make those intentions known by flirting. Suggestive comments maybe. Or sultry looks. Asking them out. Sometimes its subtle, sometimes it’s more blatant. Those would be the kinds of things that I would have been looking for.”

“Wolves don’t…I mean, I guess we do. Sort of.” Nico had to take a breath, but he finally was able to look me in the eye. And now that I knew to look for it, I don’t know how I missed it before. The warmth and affection in his gaze was clear. “But most of the time, with us, it’s another wolf. Scents inform so much for us that it’s easy to tell if there’s attraction. And when we meet someone who could be mate, we know right away.”

“Scents don’t lie,” I murmured, remembering back to the beginning. I scooted a little closer. “So you caught my scent and knew I was mate.”

“You smell like home.” His voice was so soft, I almost missed it. would have if I hadn’t been sitting so close to him. I was utterly charmed by his words, pleased down to my toes that I could be that for him.. But I filed that away for the moment because there was more to discuss.

“So all this time, all the things we’ve been doing together, the way you are with me, it’s because you knew I was your mate?”

Nico cocked his head to the side, all confused puppy. I loved it when he did that. He was so adorable and it always made me grin. But I tried not to let that sneak out right now because under no circumstance did I want him to think I was laughing at him. Instead, I knew I had to explain.

“See, I thought we were just friends. Roommates that got along really well in each other’s space.”

Nico’s scowl was quick and surprising. “So you just cuddle with all your friends? You let them touch you whenever they want? And hug them all the time?”

“I thought that was a wolf thing!” How was I supposed to know any differently? He’d always been tactile, and I chalked it up to him being a wolf shifter.

“It’s a you and me thing!” He sounded so indignant.

“Why are we yelling?”

Nico opened his mouth and then shut it again. After a second, he shook his head. “Okay, fine. I don’t understand humans all that well. And your rituals and customs or whatever. So I’m just gonna say it. I hate it when you’re not here. I worry about you all the time and I want you where I can touch you whenever I want. It soothes me to have you close and to snuggle into you and I hate when you go to bed and I have to sleep alone. So let’s just stop that, and just be together and I can cuddle you and love you and just take care of you.”

“Okay.”

“I know that for humans—what?”

I stood, walked the three steps to his chair, and touched the back of his neck. Nico immediately went still. When I nudged his knee he instantly spread them to make room for me and then wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Okay.” I repeated, stroking the short hairs on the back of his head. “That all sounds really good to me. Thank you for telling me what you want. I want it too. I’m gonna need more conversation, and you’re going to have to talk to me if I do something you don’t understand. But absolutely yes.”

Nico let out a long, slow breath and then gave a sharp tug so that I lost my balance. But he caught me and helped me settle on his lap. I wasn’t worried about being too heavy. He was a wolf shifter and far stronger than the average human. He could hold me with no problem. His warm brown eyes studied mine, and then a huge smile lit his face.

“Can we get distracted now?”

Instead of answering, I kissed him.

**Okay episode 2! To say Sean was surprised by Nico’s slip of the tongue… Let’s see what happens next. Enjoy!**

“Nico?”

The fact that he refused to look at me was concerning. Ever since the day we met, he always gave me his full attention—including eye contact—when I was speaking. But right now, he was doing everything he could to avoid me short of walking out of the room. When he finally opened his eyes, he kept his gaze fixed on the far wall. And when I moved so I was in his line of sight, he dodged. It was so unlike him I started to get worried.

I took a breath. “I don’t understand what’s going on. I need you to talk to me please.”

It took Nico a few minutes, but I was nothing if not patient. I tried not to let my anxiety get the better of me, because it would just set Nico off. But then I realized that maybe that was exactly what needed to happen. If he knew how much this was freaking me out, and he held to his usual pattern, he would do anything he could to soothe me. So I stopped trying to regulate my breathing and letting a calmer head prevail. The instant I gave myself the permission to freak out, I could almost feel my blood pressure rise.

Nico jerked his head up and then narrowed his eyes while taking a deep breath. A second later he was at my side, reaching for me. He stopped short of actually touching me, probably unsure of whether I would allow it now that he’d dropped his revelation. But I wanted snuggles, so I leaned in, and he quickly wrapped his arms around me.

I let out a shaky breath and gave him more of my weight. “So. Um.” I cleared my throat. “Mate?”

Nico didn’t reply in words. I didn’t know if it was because his wolf was still close to the surface, or if he just didn’t want to talk. But he let out a grumbly sort of growl that sounded like agreement to me. After a year of living together, I liked to think I knew his sounds as well as he knew my scents.

I kept my voice soft as I asked, “Were you going to tell me?”

“No. Yes. Maybe?” Nico shoved his nose against my skin, where my neck met my shoulder, and breathed deeply. That seemed to calm him some and he snuggled me tighter against him. “Probably. Eventually.”

That was a lot of words but I would have to trust that he was being honest. He’d never given me an indication that he would lie, so it was easy to do. Keeping this from me was a pretty big thing though, and if we had any hope of a future, we would have to sort this out between us before we could move on.

“And you haven’t told me yet because…” I lifted his head with a gentle grip on his hair so I could look into his warm brown eyes. Nico looked scared. I made sure there was no judgement him my tone as I added, “We’ve been living together for a year, you know?”

Nico huffed out a breath. “But you’re human.”

Oh. Oh goddess. Of course. My heart sank as I understood. I started to pull away.

“And you don’t want a human—”

“No!” His voice rang out, echoing in the kitchen. He could be really loud when he wanted to and I couldn’t help the flinch. Nico immediately shushed me, soothed me, not letting me go but no longer hanging on for dear life. “No, that’s not it at all. But you don’t feel the pull the way I do. You don’t know down to your marrow that I’m the right one for you. Not like a wolf. So I wanted to give you time.”

“Okay. But time for what?”

“To fall in love with me first.” The way he said it, so matter-of-fact, clued me in that he thought that was obvious.

I sighed, but it was more in exasperation than anything else. When the little crease between his brows appeared, I couldn’t help the chuckle.

“But Nico, dear, sweetie…you haven’t given me any indication that you were interested in me.”

The confusion only seemed to grow, his expression pinching further. “Uh, yes. I have.”

I thought back over our usual interactions. About the way he was constantly in my personal space and how he was always interested in my day to day life, the goings on, my mood and my emotions. About how intently he listened when I spoke and how helped me problem solve and vent when I needed to. About how he bought things he knew would make me happy. Could that be it? Did he think he was conveying his interest in me when I’d been looking for something else entirely?

“Okay. We clearly need to talk.”

The whine that escaped Nico was so distressed my heart dropped into my stomach. “What’s wrong?”

“When humans say that, it’s bad.”

It wasn’t funny, because he was clearly genuinely upset. But the absolutely pitiful way he whined that almost made me laugh. Instead, I pulled him in and did the cuddling for a change. He resisted, but only for a split second, before he let out a long breath that reminded me of a dog settling down.

“No, it’s not bad. Not this time. I just think we’ve had unintentional miscommunication. Because my human brain expects certain things, and clearly wolf shifter’s do things differently. Or maybe just you. And we just need to sit down and communicate clearly about things because Nico?” I stroked the back of his neck, and he turned his head just enough to peer at me with one eye. “I honestly had no idea that you wanted anything more than friendship, and I’ve been shoving my own thoughts and feelings way down deep.”

“Really?” he asked in a small voice.

“Really really.” I took a chance and kissed he cheek, and the satisfied rumble that rolled out of him made me grin. “But first, I need to feed you, because you need to replenish those calories.”

“Okay,” he said happily, snuggling in again. Which, to be honest, was a little awkward standing in the kitchen with him having a good six inches on me. And also he was still naked.

“And pants. You need to put on pants.” I gave him a little shake when he harrumphed. “Yes, put on the pants. I know you’d rather just prance around naked but there will be no distractions until after we communicate.”

“But then we can get distracted.” It was a declaration and Nico didn’t even give me a chance to respond as he loped off to go get dressed.

I watched him go, and then when he disappeared into his room, I allowed myself to simply breathe for a moment. Today had taken a turn I’d never expected. I’d honestly thought that Nico was nothing more than a good friend and excellent roommate, and I’d been so conscious not to do anything to jeopardize that. Now everything had shifted and I needed to get my head on straight.

Because I’d always wanted Nico. Deep down where I hadn’t let myself acknowledge it. Now things were different. Good different. At least I hoped so.

I heard Nico’s door open and I shook myself out of my thoughts. First, feed the wolf. Then we would talk. After that? Well we’d see.

**Finally a flash for you. It’s only been a month. I’ve been…the muse, when she appears, has had only very specific things to say. But I think she’s shown up for today, and we’ll see where this goes… Enjoy!**

It took me a surprisingly short amount of time to get used to living with a wolf shifter. I’d thought it would have been taken a lot, be a big transition, take time. I was purely human after all, not a magical cell in my entire body. And before I answered the ad looking for a roommate and moved in with Nico, I’d had very little contact with the paranormal world. Sure I knew, logically, that they were everywhere and probably dealt with them on a daily basis and never realized it. But in my personal life, everybody was human.

Nico changed all that, and now I was more entrenched in that community more than I ever thought possible. But living with him had been a dream. We got along great, we respected each other’s space and needs, and had very few problems. Nico’s house was big enough for the both of us and though he insisted he needed the help with the mortgage, which was why he’d gone looking for a roommate in the first place, I was pretty certain he just liked having another person around. He was ultimately a pack animal. Having someone else in his space made him feel connected or whatever.

We’d never actually discussed it. Not once in the year since I’d moved in. At first it had seemed to personal, especially when we didn’t know each other that well. But after a while, it didn’t even matter. I got a cheap place to live and a roommate who respected me, and he got what he needed as well. The only thing I’d ever asked him was why he’d so readily invited me to move in, after just a few minutes of meeting.

Nico had simply tapped his nose, given me a wink, and said, “Scents don’t lie.”

Which was how I learned just how sensitive a shifter’s sense of smell was, and how everyone gave off scents that clued shifters in to emotions and feelings. Apparently, the better a shifter knew someone, the better they could figure them out. All by smelling them. I’d gotten used to Nico sussing out my moods just with a big inhale. And the nosy way he’d press until he got me to talk.

Which was why I was desperately trying to calm down and get on an even keel before the Nico got back from his run and a big, gray wolf walked through the back door to smell me and start asking questions.

It turned out, I didn’t have as much time as I thought.

Nico had installed lever handles on all the doors so his big paws could get him in and out. When the back door bounced open, I squeaked and jumped up, all but racing over to the fridge to pull out ingredients. Maybe I could cover up my scent with garlic and onions?

“How about burgers?” I said, speaking far too quickly. I took a breath and pasted on a smile. “Big juicy ones with all the stuff you like? Won’t take but a few minutes to get them going.”

Wolf Nico huffed a breath and stalked forward. I wasn’t scared anymore, and that was a shame, because fear would have definitely drowned out whatever else he could pick up.

“No on the burgers? Beef stroganoff instead? I know how much you like that. We have the—Nico!”

Having a cold wolf nose pressed to the small of your back would startle anyone. He’s gotten his muzzle under the hem of  my t-shirt and was sniffing furiously, his breath wafting across my skin. It made me shiver. Nico ignored me and my attempts to push him away, snuffling and sniffing all over me. I finally managed to side step him and put some distance between us.

I ignored the fact that I’d only been able to do it because he allowed it.

Nico shifted back into his human skin, easy as anything, right there on the kitchen floor. Naked and panting, he took a second and shook himself, then stood. I’d long ago gotten over my human hangups about nudity, so it didn’t even phase me. Though I had to keep my eyes on his, because there was no doubt Nico was one hell of a beautiful man. That I would love to get my hands on sometime. Though I always did my best to keep those thoughts in check because I didn’t want to ruin what we had by getting any sort of romance involved. In this case, though, maybe I could use it to my advantage. Maybe arousal would cover up the other scents.

“Sean?” Nico’s voice was rough from the shift. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I assured him quickly. Too quickly, probably. I cleared my throat.

“Oh, so you’re lying to me now. Is that the thing we’re doing now?”

I scowled, because the droll tone was uncalled for.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m okay. I promise.”

Nico stalked toward me, even measured steps eating up the floor between us, until he was right in my space. He wrapped a hand around the back of my neck, then slid his thumb forward enough to get it under the edge of my jaw. He used that to tilt my head up so his gaze met mine.

“What. Happened.” He bit out the words, all growly wolf and I probably shouldn’t find that hot. Probably shouldn’t be touched that he was so ready to defend and protect me. He was my roommate and nothing more.

But I couldn’t lie to him and he knew I was upset. Hurt, but not physically. Stressed and sad. He could smell it all and I should haven’t started cooking before he even came home, something pungent like that curry he liked or maybe 40 clove garlic chicken or—

Nico gave me a little shake, just enough to get me out of my head, and stared at me with his implacable brown eyes.

I sighed heavily, a gust of breath that came from my toes. “Cathy.”

That’s it. Just one name. And I didn’t need to say anything more. He knew about my impossible coworker who made my life so much harder. Of the way she tried to undermine and micromanage. Of how she gatekept knowledge and blew up when I made an honest mistake but if she did the same it was no big deal. Of how it made my work day stressful and made me anxious, since I was always walking on eggshells.

Nico growled, low and menacing. “I’ll kill her.”

I chuckled at that, though it was weak. “You can’t. You wouldn’t look good in orange.”

He squinted at me and pulled me even closer. I barely stifled the gasp. I loved it when he cuddled me.

“Quit that fucking job.”

I laughed again, this time a little more real. “I need a job, Nico. I have to be able to, you know, afford to live.”

“I’ll take care of you.”

Goddess, if only. I patted his chest and tried to pull away. I didn’t get far. So I smiled up at him. “That’s sweet. And I appreciate the thought. But I can handle it. It’s just frustrating. It’s not like I can actually live off you but it’s a lovely thought.”

“Of course you can. I can take care of you. You’re my mate.”

Nico went still.

I stared at him.

He stared back.

Neither of us spoke. Barely even breathed. Nico shut his eyes.

“Fuck.”