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It seems that the way to mitigate the nerves is to work on new stuff.  At least, that’s what’s currently working for me.  Sunday will be here when it gets here–I have yet to develop the power to speed up time, though I assure you, I’ve been working on it–and there’s nothing I can do to change that.  In the meantime, I’m plotting out a new story.  Except, the thing is, I can’t figure out if it’s one big story…or two short ones.  There are times when it seems like two different tales.  And there are times when they kind of converge and mingle together, the story lines intertwined and the characters becoming the same people.  And before I can get anything on the page, I need to figure that out.

I’m also plotting the next book in the series, that will follow Postcards.  At the moment, I have three different sets of MCs and their stories. I like series.  I think in series.  I have no idea if it will actually work out, not at this point.  But I have the boys and they are talking.  I just have to see if they have stories worth telling.   

And I’m dithering over editing Postcards.  I’ve barely read past the first couple of chapters and have only made a few small changes and fixes thus far.  I’m not sure what has me so nervous about reading it through.  Except, of course, I’m afraid of it sucking.  And afraid that if it does suck, I won’t be able to fix it. I need to just section off some time and read it through.  And then I’ll know.

Worth It is out on Sunday, December 1st.  Tune in here on Friday November 29th for a glimpse into the lives of the main characters, Jack and Ryan, before Worth It takes place.  And keep tuning in for Flash Fic Fridays to see what happens next!

Enjoy the holiday, for those who celebrate it.  Happy Thanksgiving!  Happy Hanukkah!

I was nervous when I first submitted Worth It for consideration.

I was nervous while waiting to hear whether or not it would be accepted.

I was nervous after I knew it had been accepted and I was waiting for edits.

I was nervous doing the edits.

I was nervous during all the little extra bits that go along with being a first time author.

This whole process has been nerve wracking.  Incredibly exciting.  A dream come true.  But nerve wracking.

But nothing compares to this last stretch waiting for the story to be released.  Just six more days and my first published story will be out there.  I wonder if other authors have experienced this same thing with the first time their stories were about to be out there in the world.  I wonder if this feeling will ever go away.  I’m constantly bouncing back and forth between sheer, overwhelming excitement and unmitigated, unadulterated terror.

Six days, and it’ll be available for public consumption.  I’m terribly nervous.  I do hope a few people like it.

I got brave last night and actually opened up Postcards.  I haven’t looked at it since I put the last punctuation mark on the page nine days ago.  It’s…not bad.

I’m actually sort of cringing about the amount of work that needs to be done on it.  I definitely think I can clean it up and make it ready for a test run with my betas.  I’m just not sure how long that’s going to take.  The good news is that it has good bones.  It’s a solid story underneath.  I just need to finesse it a bit.  Okay, a lot.  But there are parts that made me grin, parts that I liked a lot, and then some parts that made me wrinkle my nose.  I didn’t do much fixing yet, mostly just seeing what needed to get done.  It’ll be quiet a task, that’s for sure.

In the meantime, I saw an open submission call that really piqued my interest.  The dead line is only two months away though.  I’m going to try and see if I can get the plot bunny on the page and develop it into a real story.  There’s a lot going on in my life right now though, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get it ready in time.  It might be a fun exercise anyway, though.  Even if I don’t get it done in time, that doesn’t mean the story doesn’t need to be told, you know?  When there’s a lot going on in my head, sometimes I need to get things out on the page to make room for other stuff.  Then, either the story develops into a whole tale…or it dies a dignified death.  Neither thing is bad.  And the good thing about this plot bunny is it would take place in the Highlands of Scotland.  And I’m very, very lucky to have me an inside source.  If I got anything wrong, she’d tell me flat out how to fix it.  So at least I know the details would be accurate. 🙂

At any rate, I’m still writing and editing and fixing.  And  it still feels very good.  And with my first release on the horizon, I’m giddy with anticipation and excited to keep all the good feelings going.  I write because I must.  But I also love the hell out of it.  Even when I’m frustrated beyond belief.

Paul Richmond is a bit of a genius, isn’t he?  I think it’s sweet, and rather perfect for the anthology as a whole.  That’s the cover of Heartwarming.  Release is just two weeks away, people.  13 days actually.  If you’ve already bought the whole anthology, then the first one will arrive in your inbox on Sunday, December 1st.  If you just want to buy individual titles, they’ll all be available for purchase on that day as well.  It’s a fantastic mix of stories.  You can purchase the whole thing here.

Here’s the blurb for Worth It:

Jackson Bennett and Ryan Hennigan met and fell in love while Ryan worked on Jack’s family’s Christmas tree farm. Back then, Jack broke his own heart by convincing Ryan to leave and pursue his future. Ryan went, but only after they made a pact to reunite after Ryan graduated from college. Now, five years later, it’s time, but Jack is convinced Ryan won’t show—and when he does, Jack is certain Ryan can’t possibly want to stay. Ryan, however, has no intention of being anywhere other than in Jack’s arms. But he faces a hurdle he never expected: proving to Jack they can have each other without having to sacrifice their dreams.

I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

In other news, I received the first edit on my next release.  It’s always a bit of a nerve wracking experience.  Now, this is only my second time on the merry-go-round, and I like to think I learned a little from my first trip.  So that part’s a bit easier.  But even though it makes me nervous, I also sort of love it.  Seeing the changes needing to be made and really thinking about what the story is, making it say exactly what I want it to say to convey the story as it should be, is kind of an awesome process.  I’m working on it now and hopefully will be done tonight.

In another couple of days, I’ll be taking another stab at my WIP, tentatively titled Postcards.  That one is going to be a big mess to sort out.  But I like to think I’m up to the challenge.  I hope anyway.  At the very least, it’s another step on my journey to becoming a better writer.  I certainly want to keep improving.  It’s the only way I’ll be able to share the stories in my head with the world.

I’m sitting here with a scarf on my head.  No, really.  It’s balls numbing cold (or at least, that’s what I think would happen.  As I don’t have a set of my own, I can’t be entirely certain) and honestly, that impedes my creative process.  For the simple fact that freezing fingers don’t make for good typing.  And also, I’m pretty sure it slows down the neurons in the creative center in my brain.

Don’t worry.  I’ve turned the heat up.  But while I’m waiting for things to start working properly again, I’m painstakingly typing this while periodically shoving my hands in my pockets and waiting for them to thaw a bit so that they continue to work.

But see, here’s the thing: even when the fingers don’t work because they are too cold and my brain is sluggishly trying to process…it still works.  And slowly imagines just exactly what would happen to two guys were they in a situation where it was freezing cold, the power went out, and they had to find a way to pass the time…while attempting to stay warm.  And then, I write it down and file it away to use in my next WIP.  And here’s a hint: it’s not what you’re thinking right now.

When you’re a writer, anything and everything can  inspire a plot bunny.

Yesterday, at roughly a quarter after one EST, I finished writing the novel I had started 10 days prior.

Not only did I make the NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words, but surpassed it by a few, and finished the first draft entirely.  Now it’s sitting, waiting patiently for me to be ready to edit and polish it.  And I know there much work to be done yet.  It needs a lot of help, I’m certain.  Since I went with a different method of writing than I have in the past–namely I wrote the whole sucker without going back and reading what I had just written–I have no idea if there are consistency issues.  I know there are scenes that need to be expanded and more detail given.  I know there are scenes that I’ll want to change entirely or delete completely.  The word count will change, decrease and grow, accordingly.  But I can’t even look at it right now, because I’m still too close to it.  Can’t see the forest for the trees, you know?

It’s written in the third person, with alternating POVs between the characters.  I’m a fan of writing both in the first person, and in the third.  As you may have noticed, the flash fics have all been first person.  To be honest, everything always starts in the first person in my head.  And then as the story starts to build, I see if I see scenes from both character’s perspective or just from one.  I, personally, am not a fan of books that switch POVs and they are both written in the first person.  I find them hard to read.  Though I have read some books that do it well, it’s not my favorite type.  So if I find that I have scenes from both character’s perspective, it gets relegated to the third person.  It’s all about what works for my story as a whole.

Both of my upcoming releases, Worth It (out on December 1st as part of the Dreamspinner Press Advent Anthology Heartwarming) and Hero Worship (included in the Dr. Feelgood Anthology with an expected release date in February 2014) are written first person.  They are both short stories, though.  Postcards (working title) is much longer, and had more time for the story to develop.  I think that’s why it ended up being in the third person.  The story needed to present things from both characters POV.

At any rate, the entire tale is on the page.  I now have the bones to work with and hopefully make into a good story.  And I did it in 10 days.  Imagine how much more I could get written if I didn’t have to go to the day job? 🙂

Let me preface this by saying that I love series.  I mean, really love series.  When there are multiple books with the same MCs and we get to see them repeatedly on their adventures and watch them grow and change.  What I might love even more is when we meet secondary characters along the way who then in turn get their own stories.  That way, we get to see the couples we’ve met previously as secondary characters and get to see that they are still going strong, but we also get to get new and different stories that take place in the same “world” and get to see characters that we’ve already met find their own happy ever afters.

I have a tendency to think in series.  I don’t know why I even pretend that anything is going to be a one-off.  Because even when I write something with the intent of it being a single title, it always changes.  Probably because I love to read them so much.  It inevitably happens.  Always.  The side characters start clamoring for their own stories to be told.

Monday night, before I dragged my ass to bed for the night, I made it to 25K words.  I left it hanging at that point because sleep was imperative.  As I was drifting off to sleep, my mind was writing the scene that I would write last night.  A new character was introduced and I started figuring out where he fit in.  How he was connected to my MCs and what his role would be.  By the time I fell asleep, I was happy with where it was going and I knew by the time I got home from work yesterday I’d be ready to write it.  But when I woke up yesterday morning, a curious thing happened.  I knew the new character.  I knew how he fit in with my MCs and what his role would be.  But he started talking…letting me know that he’d be open to his own tale.  Once I got this one finished, of course.

Honestly, I have no idea why I was surprised.  But I was.  For a few minutes there, I was completely shocked.  And then I very politely but firmly told New Guy to can it.  Because as much as I would love to hear his story, I am currently focused on something else.  My brain is firmly entrenched with Nick and Owen.  So he needed to take a back seat…as least as far as his own romance was concerned.  But I was happy to hear anything he had to say about Owen.  He obliged and is currently sitting in the back corner of my brain, ready to jump in whenever I need him.

I’m not going to say anything definitive right at this moment.  But thus far, things to be going smoothly.  And I might just jump right into another story as soon as I finish this one.  We’ll see.  But Joe?  He’s got a big mouth.  And he’s loud.  And kindhearted and helpful.  And he just wants to find someone who will love him with no agenda.

What do you think?  Are you a fan of series?  Or would you rather read something completely separate every time?

I’ve taken up the NaNoWriMo challenge and the muse has been with me.  In three days, I’ve written 16,500 words.  This might not seem like a big deal to you but to me?  Huge.  I’ve never written so many words in such a short time.  I feel very accomplished.

I’m doing things a little bit differently from my norm this time around.  Normally, when I write, I spend a lot of time going back reading over what I’ve written.  I’m constantly editing as I go along; changing sentences, moving scenes, contemplating word choices.  But this time?  I’m not worrying about what I’ve written…at least not like that.  Of course I care about it for continuity sake but I’m just writing the story as it is in my head.  I’ll go back and edit and worry about all those things after I’m done.  I’ll do the polishing after I’ve gotten the whole story on the page, not during the process like I usually do.

I think it’s helping.  Because I’ve gotten more written in the last three days than I ever have at one time before.  See the little progress bar on the left?  It estimates I’m 33% done with the story, if the end result is actually going to end up being 50,000 words.  That’s the goal.  But right now?  There still so much story left to tell that it might even be longer.   But I’m not even worrying about that so much.  Yes, the goal is 50, 000 and I intend to make that.  But I’m telling the story as it’s meant to be told and if that means I get 30,000 words or 80,000 words, then that’s what it is.

Nick and Owen’s story will be what it is meant to be.  I’m giving it shape, but really, I’m just along for the ride.

But can I just say this?  It feels incredibly good to be writing, to be making progress.  I’ve been…in a slump in regards to that lately.  I haven’t managed to get much on the page since I finished Hero Worship, the bulk of the writing for which I did during the summer, and Just polished in August.  Submitted in September.  Accepted in October.  It’s been a bit of a whirl wind, with Worth It and Hero Worship.  And everything that I’ve thought of and written down since and seemed like crap.  So those stories weren’t meant to be told.  At least, that’s what I tel myself.  But this one?  Yeah, it wants to be written.  Who knows what will happen when I’m finally done.  But it wants to be told and that has me feeling pretty good.  I’m going to ride that high for as long and as far as I can.

I’m a very vivid dreamer.  It’s like watching a movie in my head that stems from my own imagination.  This actually works incredibly well in my favor.  Because not only do I have good sleep because of the dreams, I also see scenes from what I’m writing.

It’s in that time while I’m falling asleep that I do some of my best thinking and plotting.  And if it’s a particularly good “session,” then I dream of my characters and see what they are up to.  When I wake up, I can usually recall exactly what I dreamed and can write it down.  Maybe it makes it into my story and maybe it doesn’t, but the characters are never far from my brain.  I’m never far from the story.

Yesterday, I did not feel well at all.  Stomach bug.  Which I hate.  But I spent most of the day sleeping and the dreams I had?  They were kind of amazing. I attribute that to the sickness.  And they really helped with the sticking plot point I’ve been having with the story I’ll start writing on Friday for NaNoWriMo.  It’s shaping up to be a sweet, very low angst story.  Two boys meeting and falling in love, working through the process toward their happily ever after.

That is, of course, if I’m able to translate my dreams and put them on the page just like I saw them.

Shortly after I learned that Worth It was accepted and would be a part of Dreamspinner Press’s 2013 Advent Calendar Anthology Heartwarming, I submitted a second short story for consideration for inclusion in another anthology.  I had written it during the summer and my awesome beta readers gave me their feed back.  I tweaked and polished it.  And even though I knew that DSP had accepted Worth It, I was still all sorts of nervous about submitting the second one.  When I started panicking and freaking out while I was waiting to hear, my dear friends talked me down.  I’ll tell you this, it wasn’t any easier the second time around.  I’m thinking it will always be like that.  I’m actually okay with that.

But the good news is that it was accepted as well!  It will be one of the stories in the Dr. Feelgood Anthology released in February by Dreamspinner Press.  I’ll give more details as to what and when and how when I have them.  But for now, I’m just excited that Matt and Alex’s story will be out there.  I love these guys.  And I can’t wait to hear what everyone thinks of their tale.

November is National Novel Writing Month.  50,000 words in 30 days.  I’m an official participant.  I’ve never written anything that large that fast, but I’m up for the challenge.  Yes, I’m having trouble with my WIP.  But it’s still in the plotting stages and I have three more days to figure out the sticky points and starting writing.  Or maybe I will write any one of the other dozen ideas in my head.  At any rate, by November I intend to have a novel completed and ready for my betas.  I know there will be tweaking and polishing and editing after they tell me what works and what doesn’t.  I’m going to put a progress bar on the side so you, if you want, you can see how far I’ve gotten.  Hopefully, it will be the first of many.