As Luck Would Have It is now out in the world! You can get it directly from JMS (with a discount!) or from your other favorite retailer here.
Kyle Swansie loves his hometown of Landry’s Fall. An extrovert who loves talking with people, managing and serving at his family’s diner is the highlight of his day. Even when he has to deal with the occasional cranky patron. When a stranger cops an attitude, Kyle doesn’t hesitate to put the beautiful man in his place. But Xavier Ormsby is so much more than Kyle’s first impression and it doesn’t take long for the two men to find common ground. Neither Kyle nor Xavier expected to find a connection.
Xavier might be in Landry’s Fall on a forced vacation of sorts, their time together quickly moves from friends to more. Xavier is everything Kyle never realized he wanted. Kyle provides a light Xavier didn’t know he needed. Though their worlds are very different, there’s no denying the depth of their attraction. With each day that passes, both Kyle and Xavier start looking to a future.
Things that should be obstacles — their age gap, Xavier’s diabetes, the financial disparity — simply aren’t. But it’s still not easy to find a way to fit their lives together. With their love on the line, can they find a way to have their happily ever after?
I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. Kyle’s adorable, Xavier’s a sweetheart. It was a blast being back in Landry’s Fall, and I’ll probably head there again soon (wink). In the mean time, enjoy this celebratory story and all the fun it has.
And just a note: we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming here very soon, with maybe a few extras. It’s been an incredibly stressful couple of weeks and I’ve had to focus on other things. But with some time off looming, hopefully I’ll be able to bring you the conclusion of Jace and Ian’s story, as well as more!
JMS Books is celebrating a lucky 13 years in business. To join in the festivities, I’ve written another addition to the Landry’s Fall tales!
Some of you may recognize Kyle Swansie, the fun and flirtatious server at Swansie’s Diner. Here he finally gets his own love story. You can pre-order it now directly from the publisher (with a discount!) It releases on July 1st, when it will be available at other e-tailers.
Kyle Swansie loves his hometown of Landry’s Fall. An extrovert who loves talking with people, managing and serving at his family’s diner is the highlight of his day. Even when he has to deal with the occasional cranky patron. When a stranger cops an attitude, Kyle doesn’t hesitate to put the beautiful man in his place. But Xavier Ormsby is so much more than Kyle’s first impression and it doesn’t take long for the two men to find common ground. Neither Kyle nor Xavier expected to find a connection.
Xavier might be in Landry’s Fall on a forced vacation of sorts, their time together quickly moves from friends to more. Xavier is everything Kyle never realized he wanted. Kyle provides a light Xavier didn’t know he needed. Though their worlds are very different, there’s no denying the depth of their attraction. With each day that passes, both Kyle and Xavier start looking to a future.
Things that should be obstacles — their age gap, Xavier’s diabetes, the financial disparity — simply aren’t. But it’s still not easy to find a way to fit their lives together. With their love on the line, can they find a way to have their happily ever after?
I adored writing this book. Kyle is such a joy. Xavier was a blast too, as I delved into the world of Type 1 diabetes and the way that affects this character. This book might be the very definition of sweet with heat, as these two men were in the right place at the right time to find their HEA. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I didn’t writing it!
After 5 and a half years (or thereabouts), I’ve quit my day job.
Now, sadly, I didn’t do this to write full time. That’s the dream, right? But that’s not feasible. I do have another job lined up. And after a couple of weeks notice, and a couple of weeks off, I’ll start there. I’m looking forward to it as much as I can for any day job.
The job has been…stressful to say the least. For quite a while now. And I’ve been doing the best I could but it’s been taking it’s toll. The result is that I haven’t had many spoons for anything else. The writing, in particular, has suffered. It’s hard, for me at least, to fall into a created world when I’m so burnt out that all I want to do is potato.
On the upside, between ending this job and starting the new one, I do have two weeks off. I need to decompress badly and I’m so looking forward to that. My hope is that this will translate to some words being written. Among other things to just relax.
And I’m hoping that with a less stressful job, I won’t be as tapped out at the end of the day and at the weekend, so that I can write more words then too.
But most of all, I’m just happy to be leaving a job that takes all that I have so that I can devote more of me to things that I love.
**Another Saturday edition! Because there was….stuff this week. I’ll talk about it soon! In the meantime, let’s check in with Jace and Ian and see what’s going on with the goats. And what Mack found out. Enjoy!**
“Stoat.” Mack was shoveling pancakes in as fast as he could chew and swallow. I indeed didn’t have any fish or berries, but I figured that the carb load of pancakes, plus sugar from the maple syrup, would go a long way to restoring Mack’s calories. He seemed appreciative at least.
“Stoat?” Ian’s tone was all confusion, his brow creasing.
“Stoat?” On the other hand, I broke out in a cold sweat. To hide my reaction, I turned back to the griddle and ladled out more batter. I was pretty sure Mack could eat more, and even if he couldn’t, perhaps Ian would want some. I’d been intending to eat some as well but I’d suddenly lost my appetite.
Mack slurped some coffee and gave a single nod. “Stoat. Definitely. But not near the fence, which was weird. All around the house though.”
I cleared my throat. “But that could have probably been there for a while, right? If it wasn’t by the fence and just—”
“Nope.” Mack didn’t seem to think anything of his casual dismissal as he swiped his last bite of pancake through the dregs of syrup on his plate. “Scent trail was less than a day old.”
My knees buckled. I would have sagged right to the floor if Ian hadn’t moved as quickly as he did, catching me around the waist and holding me up. He gently took the spatula from my hand and set it on the counter, then got a better grip on me and helped me to stand. Once I had my feet under me, he didn’t let go though. Instead he tilted my chin with a gentle hand and peered into my eyes.
“Jace?” It was a question, but at the same time not. Something in his tone spoke of command, and there was no denying that he wanted me to tell him exactly what was going on. The question was should I?
I’d only met the man this morning, but we’d been thrown together because of the goats. And there was no denying there was something between us already, though I wouldn’t even begin to label it. He was attractive, sure. And he’d definitely been flirting. There’d been a vague promise of talking about things. But would that really go anywhere?
“Did you, uh, I mean, was there any scent by the fence?”
Mack squinted at me, then glanced at Ian. When Ian gave a nod, Mack answered. “No. But it was strange because it was almost as if there was an absence of scent. I can’t even explain it but when I was sniffing around, it was like something was missing.”
“That’s good information,” Ian murmured, not taking his gaze off me. “And we’ll puzzle out what that means in a moment. Thank you, Mack.”
“Sure. But what’s all this?” Mack gestured with is fork, and a stray bit of syrup flew off and landed on the floor. Mack huffed and rolled his eyes, grabbing a napkin to wipe it off.
My laugh was a little unhinged. Ian narrowed his eyes.
“Tell me.”
“It’s n-nothing.” I stopped and took a breath, in and out. “Just…an ex-boyfriend. Or one of his caravan. No big deal.”
I didn’t know what it was about Ian, what exactly changed, but suddenly it did. He straightened and pulled his shoulders back, maybe. A light changed in his eyes or his micro expression changed. I couldn’t put my finger on it but from one moment to the next he changed from concerned to protective.
“You have a stalker?”
I gently pulled away and turned back to the griddle. I flipped the pancakes just in time—they were a little too dark but they hadn’t burned—and gave them all a pat just so I would have something to do.
“No, of course not.”
Ian crowded my space, getting almost too close. “That’s what it sounds like. Looks like. You panicked when you heard it, like you didn’t even know it was going on. And if someone is skulking around and hiding themselves, that’s stalker behavior.”
I tried for a smile, pretty sure it didn’t work, and patted his chest with the hand not holding a spatula. “You don’t have to worry about it.”
I scooped the pancakes into a stack then balanced them on the spatula to carry them the three feet to the table and deposited them on Mack’s plate. He gave me a quick smile of thanks and then focused completely on his breakfast, very studiously ignoring Ian and me.
Ian caught my arm when I turned back around, drawing me to the other side of the room. It wasn’t far enough for Mack not to hear, but I didn’t think that’s what Ian intended. He clearly trusted Mack completely. It was just a semblance of privacy.
“I’m a protection dog. That’s what I do. And now I have to worry about this. So tell me what’s going on.”
I studied him for a long moment, weighing my options. The thing was, I really did want to have that promised conversation with him. See if there was anything more to the attraction than a little flirting. I might never have expected this—because who expected goats and their handsome as sin owner who also happened to shift into a Great Pyrenees—but I wasn’t one to ignore who fate put in my path.
“It didn’t end well. Davy, that’s my ex, he just didn’t want to let things go. We weren’t compatible and I ended things before it got serious. He kept trying to ‘win’ me back. But I thought he got over it. I haven’t heard from him in months.”
Ian’s gaze went dark. “Because he’s been slithering his weaselly little body around your house instead.”
“I’m sure that’s not—”
“Let me help you.”
I looked up into those deep brown eyes, saw the sincerity and the concern and the protectiveness. It was all the things I wanted, rolled into a pretty package. Could I trust him? I felt like I could. And unless the whole thing with the fence, goats, and Mack was an elaborate ruse, he’d been honest from the start. My gut was telling me he didn’t have that in him.
I blew out a breath. “Okay. Thanks.”
Ian’s brilliant smile was almost worth the inner turmoil.
**Here’s another episode with Jace and Ian. Because why not? I’m not entirely sure where this is going. But enjoy!**
The goats had been herded back to the other property, and then didn’t seem inclined to come back on my land. Probably because Ian and I were standing exactly where the fend had come down. He was dressed again, which was a shame really, and examining the fencing as we waited for Mack to return. Mack was who he had called from my house, and though we’d been introduced, I didn’t really know who he was. I surmised he must work with Ian on his goat rental business.
Goat rental. Really. He had a whole huge ass herd of goats he rented out to clear brush from overgrown properties. I had never heard of such a thing, but it certainly was an environmentally friendly way to get the job done. The polo Ian was now wearing had logo on the breast, and while he fidgeted with the fencing, I searched the company. The “about” section was sparse but it contained enough information to let me know it was a family business that had been around for decades. Considering he was a dog shifter—which reminded me I needed to look up what kind of dog he turned into and a quick second later I was confident he was a Great Pyrenees—that made sense. Between his ability and the pack of actual dogs he cared for, the goats would be well protected.
“Jace?”
“Hmm?” I quickly locked my phone and tried not to look guilty. Though to be fair, I didn’t have anything to feel guilty over. I was accessing publicly available information after all.
“You got any enemies?”
“What?” I sputtered. “No! Of course not.”
Ian shrugged, and glanced up. I followed his eyeline to see Mack loping back to us, carrying a large back. He was still some distance away though. When Ian turned his attention back to me, he squinted as though he was assessing me.
“I don’t,” I said, and didn’t even care that I sounded defensive.
Ian held his hands up. “I’m trying to figure out motive. Were they trying to cause trouble for me? Considering this is the only occupied land that borders where we were working, having my goats come in here could make you mad, right? You could sue. Or you could shift and eat the goats.”
I sucked in a breath. “I would never!”
“Really?” Ian’s mouth quirked, and damn if it didn’t look sexy. I wasn’t sure if it was the smirk or his stupidly handsome face. Either way, I bristled. Both at the insinuation and that he was so attractive.
“I don’t hunt domesticated animals. I’m not a monster. I’m just a wolf.”
Ian’s expression instantly softened and he took a step closer to me. He reached toward me, but then dropped his hand before he made contact. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply…” He huffed out a breath. “The other option is they were trying to cause trouble for you. And inconvenience at least. Destroying your property at worst.”
I frowned. “Are you sure it wasn’t just an ill conceived prank?”
“The fence was cut here.” Ian pointed as though I didn’t know exactly where the fence had come down. “Not at the road, or either of the other two borders. It was purposefully cut right at this spot, with easiest access to your property. I think it’s pretty clear this was a deliberate choice.”
I saw his logic. But still. “That doesn’t preclude the prank theory.”
“He’s right, boss.” Mack was long and lanky, with a bright smile and fire red hair. I liked him already. And not just because he was agreeing with me. “It’s unlikely, but it needs to be considered as well.”
Ian seemed to mull that over for a few moments, then he nodded once. “Okay, fine. We can’t rule it out. But it does seem like the least likely scenario. Mack, did you scent anything?”
So Mack was a shifter too. I shuffled closer, trying to make it look like I was just shifting position. I slowly and deliberately scented the air. He definitely wasn’t a Great Pyrenees shifter like Ian. But his scent wasn’t one I was familiar with, so it was hard to deduce Mack’s other half.
Mack set down his bag and started pulling out tools before he answered. “Goats, the dogs, and you. That’s it. I didn’t even smell any humans.”
“Wait. Before you get started, take a sniff around Jace’s yard,” Ian directed.
Mack froze for a moment, then set the zip ties and snips back in the bag. He looked directly at me. “That okay with you?”
“Sure.”
Ian did touch me then, grabbing hold of my arm and gently tugging me a few feet away. “Let’s give him some space.”
I turned my back for good measure, allowing Mack all the privacy he needed. Ian kept his gaze locked on mine.
“Mack’s got one of the best noses I’ve ever seen in action,” Ian said conversationally, raising his voice just a little to be heard over the snaps, groans, and pops of Mack’s shift. I winced at a particularly loud crack. I knew from experience that shifting didn’t hurt in the least since pain receptors were the first thing to turn off, but it did sound terrible from the outside. “I hope it won’t be too much to ask of you to feed him when he shifts back, though. A shift like his burns a lot of calories.”
I was about to open my mouth and ask why, but when I caught movement from the corner of my eye, it was all I could do not to jump back. Where once a lanky man had been now stood a ginormous brown bear. He swung his big head toward me, but then clicked his tongue and lumbered off, nose to the ground.
“Holy crap.”
“Yeah.” Ian chuckled. “He smells better than me. Better than a bloodhound. He’ll let us know if he finds anything. And we don’t have to worry about the goats coming back through here while Mack is in his bear skin. They don’t like him much when he’s this way, even though he doesn’t even eat goat. Can’t tell the goat that though.”
“He probably prefers fish and berries,” I said absently, watching the bear meander around my yard. Wolves were a more insular than other types of shifters, and I hadn’t spent much time around other shifters when they were in their animal form. It was fascinating to me, watching a thousand pound bear amble around.
“That he does.” The amusement was clear in Ian’s tone. “Got any of that in your house?”
I finally laughed too. “No, but I’m sure I can rustle up a fitting me. Come on inside.”
Ian followed me and then crowded up against me when we got to the back door. I went still when he dropped his face so he could tuck his nose against my neck. He inhaled sharply, and then let out a contented sigh.
“You smell so damn good.” A second later, he went tense and then immediately backed away. “Oh damn. I’m so sorry. That was inappropriate and I—”
“It’s okay. I get it.” I kept my tone gentle. “You’re fine. Come in.”
Ian closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I have to figure out what’s going on with the whole fence thing. But after that, maybe we can talk?”
I couldn’t help the playful tone when I asked, “Just talk?”
“Jesus,” Ian muttered, then scrubbed a hand down his face. “To start with, yes.”
*After taking last week off with the conclusion of the last serial, here we are with a new flash fic! It’s slightly NSFW though, so beware. What do you think? Want to see more of these guys? Lemme know! But in the meantime, enjoy!”
Goats.
Goats everywhere. Eating my grass and shrubs. Bleating and pooping and tussling and climbing all over each other. There had to be at least twenty. No wait, here came some more. Running in from the acreage behind my property to join their friends. More noise and more chomping.
I stood on my back porch just staring. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Last time I checked, the acreage was nothing but wilderness and was owned by an older gentleman who had no plans to develop it. Had that changed? Had he suddenly taken up goat farming?
The predator in me wanted to shift and chase. To run down one of those tasty morsels and gorge until I was full. Then maybe drag the carcass home to snack on later. But I was more than my wolfy instincts and though my fangs prickled at my gums, I didn’t change.
I still wanted to know how the goats appeared though. And what to do about them.
I set down my coffee on the railing, gave it a mournful look because I knew it would be cold by the time I got back, and set off toward the herd. The bleating got louder, panicked, most likely because they could sense I was more. Dangerous. The scramble they did to get away from me would be amusing if it didn’t create more chaos.
A thundering boom of a bark snagged my attention. It was quickly followed by two more, and before I realized it, three large white dogs came barreling through a fence—that hadn’t been there before—and took up a guard position between me and the herd. I froze, recognizing the livestock protection dogs for what they were even if I didn’t know the breed. I made a mental note to look later to see if I could figure it out, just to assuage my curiosity, and focused all my attention on the one who was clearly the leader.
I didn’t think the dogs would attack me as long as I didn’t go after their goats. Was that something I’d learned somewhere or just instinct? It didn’t matter. I just knew it was better to stay still, not make a move toward the goats that were still running around and screaming, and hope that a solution presented itself.
A fourth dog came tearing into my yard, expertly maneuvering around the goats without losing speed. It was bigger than the other three, taller and heavier, and they gave ground for the newcomer. The new dog skidded to a halt right in front of me. I probably should have stepped back. Probably should have gone inside and figured out who to call. But the wolf in me wouldn’t back down and so I stayed, staring down the dogs. Peripherally I was aware the goats were calming enough to go back to eating my foliage, but I couldn’t worry about that right now.
The new dog hunched and then shifted. I blinked. How had I not scent him? I chalked it up to the goats—because that was a distinctive and overpowering smell—and waited patiently for him to finish his shift. When he did, I sucked it a breath. He was huge, several inches over six feet and as broad as a barn, with defined muscles, a chiseled jaw, and hair so blond it was almost white. He cocked his head, looking far more like a dog than a human, and then narrowed his gaze.
“Wolf?”
I shrugged because there was no denying it. “I’m Jace. These your goats?”
“Yeah. Sorry. We’re clearing the land over there,” he gestured behind him, “because it’s so overgrown.”
“Okay. But this is my backyard?” I hadn’t meant for it to sound like a question, but he was utterly distracting. His voice was a deep rumble, like the barks from the dogs, and I wanted to push closer so that I could touch, and that was weird for me. It was not an impulse I usually had.
“Looks like the fence is down. Which is strange, because we build them to keep the goats in the acreage they’re supposed to stay in.” Without a word, he turned, pushing through the herd without care for his dangling bits. The dogs walked at his side and the goats moved out of his way. I followed along behind him because I didn’t know what else to do.
He crouched and examined the fence. My gaze zeroed in on his ass, which was literal perfection. I told myself to stop staring but my body didn’t cooperate. I wanted to bite it. To touch it. Hell, I just wanted to be up close and personal with it, I didn’t even care how.
He was speaking, but I was so focused on his skin I didn’t notice until he said my name. I jerked my gaze to his.
“Hmm?”
“Were you staring at my ass?” the quirk of his lips told me he wasn’t mad. Besides, it’s not like I could lie. I’d been caught.
“Yep. It’s great. What were you saying?”
“This is had been cut.” He motioned to the fence where, now that I was looking, I could see where it had been snipped through cleanly.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. But I’ll find out. Don’t suppose you have any cameras or anything back here?”
I shook my head. “We’re in the middle of nowhere and this is the backyard that butts up to acres of unused land. It didn’t seem necessary.”
He blew out a breath. “Okay. Well, first order of business is to get the goats back where they belong and to fix this fence. Then we’ll have to figure out why it happened. I’ll need to shift and run back to my truck where I left my phone and clothes. I’d only just arrived when I heard Boomer, Gracie, and Tornado bark.”
“You can, uh…” I coughed, feeling silly before reminding myself we were a dozen yards from my backdoor and I was just being hospitable to offer assistance. “You can use my phone, if you want.”
He studied me for a long moment, gaze narrowed and assessing. Eventually he nodded. He ordered the dogs to stay—and it was then that I got confirmation that while he was a shifter, the others were just dogs—and followed me into my house. I handed over my cell and got him a bottle of water while he made his call.
“It’s Ian. Yeah, we’ve got a problem.” Ian took the bottle from me with a thankful smile, and then his gaze raked from my head to my toes. The smile turned into a smirk. “Though maybe it’s only half a problem.”
After today, my posts here will no longer automatically post to twitter. Twitter has become increasingly difficult to work with for many apps.
I will try very hard to remember to go over and post a link to posts there. But if you’re following along on the serial stories, you may want to make sure you’re subscribed to the blog so that you get posts in your inbox! Or, as Duncan so helpfully pointed out and I totally forgot about, you can subscribe to the RSS feed by clicking the link in the side bar or here.
**Let’s see what Nico and Sean are up to in episode 3! (and thanks to a wonderful, kind tweet from Duncandahusky, I realized I have two Sean’s up on here. They aren’t the same! I just apparently like the name😊) Enjoy!**
Nico was quiet. Far, far too quiet. In a way that I had never seen from him since the moment we moved in. What was worse, he still couldn’t look at me. Even though we were eating, I still usually had his focus. But now it was a glance and gone again. And though, in the past, his intense concentration when we were together could be unsettling on occasion, now I missed it. And I really didn’t like they way it made me feel, telegraphing just how uncomfortable he was.
“Why are you so upset?” I made sure my tone was soft and non-accusatory.
“I don’t…I mean, I’m not sure…” He blew out a breath and pushed his plate away. He was mostly done with his food, so I wasn’t worried about him not having enough calories. If he was hungry again later, I’d make sure he ate. But right now it was obvious we needed to clear the air between us. I turned my chair to face him more fully and waited for him to get his thoughts together.
After several minutes of silence, which weren’t exactly comfortable, I could tell he had no idea what to say. It was up to me to get things moving. Things had gone a little sideways, and my normally self-assured, take charge wolf was at a loss. I needed to help.
“What do you know about human dating?”
Nico shrugged one shoulder, a quick motion. “Nothing.
“Okay.” I tapped my fingers on the table, then realizing I was fidgeting, reached out to him. Nico took my hand so fast I didn’t even register his movement. I smiled. “Usually, when a person is interested in someone, they make those intentions known by flirting. Suggestive comments maybe. Or sultry looks. Asking them out. Sometimes its subtle, sometimes it’s more blatant. Those would be the kinds of things that I would have been looking for.”
“Wolves don’t…I mean, I guess we do. Sort of.” Nico had to take a breath, but he finally was able to look me in the eye. And now that I knew to look for it, I don’t know how I missed it before. The warmth and affection in his gaze was clear. “But most of the time, with us, it’s another wolf. Scents inform so much for us that it’s easy to tell if there’s attraction. And when we meet someone who could be mate, we know right away.”
“Scents don’t lie,” I murmured, remembering back to the beginning. I scooted a little closer. “So you caught my scent and knew I was mate.”
“You smell like home.” His voice was so soft, I almost missed it. would have if I hadn’t been sitting so close to him. I was utterly charmed by his words, pleased down to my toes that I could be that for him.. But I filed that away for the moment because there was more to discuss.
“So all this time, all the things we’ve been doing together, the way you are with me, it’s because you knew I was your mate?”
Nico cocked his head to the side, all confused puppy. I loved it when he did that. He was so adorable and it always made me grin. But I tried not to let that sneak out right now because under no circumstance did I want him to think I was laughing at him. Instead, I knew I had to explain.
“See, I thought we were just friends. Roommates that got along really well in each other’s space.”
Nico’s scowl was quick and surprising. “So you just cuddle with all your friends? You let them touch you whenever they want? And hug them all the time?”
“I thought that was a wolf thing!” How was I supposed to know any differently? He’d always been tactile, and I chalked it up to him being a wolf shifter.
“It’s a you and me thing!” He sounded so indignant.
“Why are we yelling?”
Nico opened his mouth and then shut it again. After a second, he shook his head. “Okay, fine. I don’t understand humans all that well. And your rituals and customs or whatever. So I’m just gonna say it. I hate it when you’re not here. I worry about you all the time and I want you where I can touch you whenever I want. It soothes me to have you close and to snuggle into you and I hate when you go to bed and I have to sleep alone. So let’s just stop that, and just be together and I can cuddle you and love you and just take care of you.”
“Okay.”
“I know that for humans—what?”
I stood, walked the three steps to his chair, and touched the back of his neck. Nico immediately went still. When I nudged his knee he instantly spread them to make room for me and then wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Okay.” I repeated, stroking the short hairs on the back of his head. “That all sounds really good to me. Thank you for telling me what you want. I want it too. I’m gonna need more conversation, and you’re going to have to talk to me if I do something you don’t understand. But absolutely yes.”
Nico let out a long, slow breath and then gave a sharp tug so that I lost my balance. But he caught me and helped me settle on his lap. I wasn’t worried about being too heavy. He was a wolf shifter and far stronger than the average human. He could hold me with no problem. His warm brown eyes studied mine, and then a huge smile lit his face.
**Okay episode 2! To say Sean was surprised by Nico’s slip of the tongue… Let’s see what happens next. Enjoy!**
“Nico?”
The fact that he refused to look at me was concerning. Ever since the day we met, he always gave me his full attention—including eye contact—when I was speaking. But right now, he was doing everything he could to avoid me short of walking out of the room. When he finally opened his eyes, he kept his gaze fixed on the far wall. And when I moved so I was in his line of sight, he dodged. It was so unlike him I started to get worried.
I took a breath. “I don’t understand what’s going on. I need you to talk to me please.”
It took Nico a few minutes, but I was nothing if not patient. I tried not to let my anxiety get the better of me, because it would just set Nico off. But then I realized that maybe that was exactly what needed to happen. If he knew how much this was freaking me out, and he held to his usual pattern, he would do anything he could to soothe me. So I stopped trying to regulate my breathing and letting a calmer head prevail. The instant I gave myself the permission to freak out, I could almost feel my blood pressure rise.
Nico jerked his head up and then narrowed his eyes while taking a deep breath. A second later he was at my side, reaching for me. He stopped short of actually touching me, probably unsure of whether I would allow it now that he’d dropped his revelation. But I wanted snuggles, so I leaned in, and he quickly wrapped his arms around me.
I let out a shaky breath and gave him more of my weight. “So. Um.” I cleared my throat. “Mate?”
Nico didn’t reply in words. I didn’t know if it was because his wolf was still close to the surface, or if he just didn’t want to talk. But he let out a grumbly sort of growl that sounded like agreement to me. After a year of living together, I liked to think I knew his sounds as well as he knew my scents.
I kept my voice soft as I asked, “Were you going to tell me?”
“No. Yes. Maybe?” Nico shoved his nose against my skin, where my neck met my shoulder, and breathed deeply. That seemed to calm him some and he snuggled me tighter against him. “Probably. Eventually.”
That was a lot of words but I would have to trust that he was being honest. He’d never given me an indication that he would lie, so it was easy to do. Keeping this from me was a pretty big thing though, and if we had any hope of a future, we would have to sort this out between us before we could move on.
“And you haven’t told me yet because…” I lifted his head with a gentle grip on his hair so I could look into his warm brown eyes. Nico looked scared. I made sure there was no judgement him my tone as I added, “We’ve been living together for a year, you know?”
Nico huffed out a breath. “But you’re human.”
Oh. Oh goddess. Of course. My heart sank as I understood. I started to pull away.
“And you don’t want a human—”
“No!” His voice rang out, echoing in the kitchen. He could be really loud when he wanted to and I couldn’t help the flinch. Nico immediately shushed me, soothed me, not letting me go but no longer hanging on for dear life. “No, that’s not it at all. But you don’t feel the pull the way I do. You don’t know down to your marrow that I’m the right one for you. Not like a wolf. So I wanted to give you time.”
“Okay. But time for what?”
“To fall in love with me first.” The way he said it, so matter-of-fact, clued me in that he thought that was obvious.
I sighed, but it was more in exasperation than anything else. When the little crease between his brows appeared, I couldn’t help the chuckle.
“But Nico, dear, sweetie…you haven’t given me any indication that you were interested in me.”
The confusion only seemed to grow, his expression pinching further. “Uh, yes. I have.”
I thought back over our usual interactions. About the way he was constantly in my personal space and how he was always interested in my day to day life, the goings on, my mood and my emotions. About how intently he listened when I spoke and how helped me problem solve and vent when I needed to. About how he bought things he knew would make me happy. Could that be it? Did he think he was conveying his interest in me when I’d been looking for something else entirely?
“Okay. We clearly need to talk.”
The whine that escaped Nico was so distressed my heart dropped into my stomach. “What’s wrong?”
“When humans say that, it’s bad.”
It wasn’t funny, because he was clearly genuinely upset. But the absolutely pitiful way he whined that almost made me laugh. Instead, I pulled him in and did the cuddling for a change. He resisted, but only for a split second, before he let out a long breath that reminded me of a dog settling down.
“No, it’s not bad. Not this time. I just think we’ve had unintentional miscommunication. Because my human brain expects certain things, and clearly wolf shifter’s do things differently. Or maybe just you. And we just need to sit down and communicate clearly about things because Nico?” I stroked the back of his neck, and he turned his head just enough to peer at me with one eye. “I honestly had no idea that you wanted anything more than friendship, and I’ve been shoving my own thoughts and feelings way down deep.”
“Really?” he asked in a small voice.
“Really really.” I took a chance and kissed he cheek, and the satisfied rumble that rolled out of him made me grin. “But first, I need to feed you, because you need to replenish those calories.”
“Okay,” he said happily, snuggling in again. Which, to be honest, was a little awkward standing in the kitchen with him having a good six inches on me. And also he was still naked.
“And pants. You need to put on pants.” I gave him a little shake when he harrumphed. “Yes, put on the pants. I know you’d rather just prance around naked but there will be no distractions until after we communicate.”
“But then we can get distracted.” It was a declaration and Nico didn’t even give me a chance to respond as he loped off to go get dressed.
I watched him go, and then when he disappeared into his room, I allowed myself to simply breathe for a moment. Today had taken a turn I’d never expected. I’d honestly thought that Nico was nothing more than a good friend and excellent roommate, and I’d been so conscious not to do anything to jeopardize that. Now everything had shifted and I needed to get my head on straight.
Because I’d always wanted Nico. Deep down where I hadn’t let myself acknowledge it. Now things were different. Good different. At least I hoped so.
I heard Nico’s door open and I shook myself out of my thoughts. First, feed the wolf. Then we would talk. After that? Well we’d see.
**Finally a flash for you. It’s only been a month. I’ve been…the muse, when she appears, has had only very specific things to say. But I think she’s shown up for today, and we’ll see where this goes… Enjoy!**
It took me a surprisingly short amount of time to get used to living with a wolf shifter. I’d thought it would have been taken a lot, be a big transition, take time. I was purely human after all, not a magical cell in my entire body. And before I answered the ad looking for a roommate and moved in with Nico, I’d had very little contact with the paranormal world. Sure I knew, logically, that they were everywhere and probably dealt with them on a daily basis and never realized it. But in my personal life, everybody was human.
Nico changed all that, and now I was more entrenched in that community more than I ever thought possible. But living with him had been a dream. We got along great, we respected each other’s space and needs, and had very few problems. Nico’s house was big enough for the both of us and though he insisted he needed the help with the mortgage, which was why he’d gone looking for a roommate in the first place, I was pretty certain he just liked having another person around. He was ultimately a pack animal. Having someone else in his space made him feel connected or whatever.
We’d never actually discussed it. Not once in the year since I’d moved in. At first it had seemed to personal, especially when we didn’t know each other that well. But after a while, it didn’t even matter. I got a cheap place to live and a roommate who respected me, and he got what he needed as well. The only thing I’d ever asked him was why he’d so readily invited me to move in, after just a few minutes of meeting.
Nico had simply tapped his nose, given me a wink, and said, “Scents don’t lie.”
Which was how I learned just how sensitive a shifter’s sense of smell was, and how everyone gave off scents that clued shifters in to emotions and feelings. Apparently, the better a shifter knew someone, the better they could figure them out. All by smelling them. I’d gotten used to Nico sussing out my moods just with a big inhale. And the nosy way he’d press until he got me to talk.
Which was why I was desperately trying to calm down and get on an even keel before the Nico got back from his run and a big, gray wolf walked through the back door to smell me and start asking questions.
It turned out, I didn’t have as much time as I thought.
Nico had installed lever handles on all the doors so his big paws could get him in and out. When the back door bounced open, I squeaked and jumped up, all but racing over to the fridge to pull out ingredients. Maybe I could cover up my scent with garlic and onions?
“How about burgers?” I said, speaking far too quickly. I took a breath and pasted on a smile. “Big juicy ones with all the stuff you like? Won’t take but a few minutes to get them going.”
Wolf Nico huffed a breath and stalked forward. I wasn’t scared anymore, and that was a shame, because fear would have definitely drowned out whatever else he could pick up.
“No on the burgers? Beef stroganoff instead? I know how much you like that. We have the—Nico!”
Having a cold wolf nose pressed to the small of your back would startle anyone. He’s gotten his muzzle under the hem of my t-shirt and was sniffing furiously, his breath wafting across my skin. It made me shiver. Nico ignored me and my attempts to push him away, snuffling and sniffing all over me. I finally managed to side step him and put some distance between us.
I ignored the fact that I’d only been able to do it because he allowed it.
Nico shifted back into his human skin, easy as anything, right there on the kitchen floor. Naked and panting, he took a second and shook himself, then stood. I’d long ago gotten over my human hangups about nudity, so it didn’t even phase me. Though I had to keep my eyes on his, because there was no doubt Nico was one hell of a beautiful man. That I would love to get my hands on sometime. Though I always did my best to keep those thoughts in check because I didn’t want to ruin what we had by getting any sort of romance involved. In this case, though, maybe I could use it to my advantage. Maybe arousal would cover up the other scents.
“Sean?” Nico’s voice was rough from the shift. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I assured him quickly. Too quickly, probably. I cleared my throat.
“Oh, so you’re lying to me now. Is that the thing we’re doing now?”
I scowled, because the droll tone was uncalled for.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m okay. I promise.”
Nico stalked toward me, even measured steps eating up the floor between us, until he was right in my space. He wrapped a hand around the back of my neck, then slid his thumb forward enough to get it under the edge of my jaw. He used that to tilt my head up so his gaze met mine.
“What. Happened.” He bit out the words, all growly wolf and I probably shouldn’t find that hot. Probably shouldn’t be touched that he was so ready to defend and protect me. He was my roommate and nothing more.
But I couldn’t lie to him and he knew I was upset. Hurt, but not physically. Stressed and sad. He could smell it all and I should haven’t started cooking before he even came home, something pungent like that curry he liked or maybe 40 clove garlic chicken or—
Nico gave me a little shake, just enough to get me out of my head, and stared at me with his implacable brown eyes.
I sighed heavily, a gust of breath that came from my toes. “Cathy.”
That’s it. Just one name. And I didn’t need to say anything more. He knew about my impossible coworker who made my life so much harder. Of the way she tried to undermine and micromanage. Of how she gatekept knowledge and blew up when I made an honest mistake but if she did the same it was no big deal. Of how it made my work day stressful and made me anxious, since I was always walking on eggshells.
Nico growled, low and menacing. “I’ll kill her.”
I chuckled at that, though it was weak. “You can’t. You wouldn’t look good in orange.”
He squinted at me and pulled me even closer. I barely stifled the gasp. I loved it when he cuddled me.
“Quit that fucking job.”
I laughed again, this time a little more real. “I need a job, Nico. I have to be able to, you know, afford to live.”
“I’ll take care of you.”
Goddess, if only. I patted his chest and tried to pull away. I didn’t get far. So I smiled up at him. “That’s sweet. And I appreciate the thought. But I can handle it. It’s just frustrating. It’s not like I can actually live off you but it’s a lovely thought.”
“Of course you can. I can take care of you. You’re my mate.”
Nico went still.
I stared at him.
He stared back.
Neither of us spoke. Barely even breathed. Nico shut his eyes.
Kris T. Bethke--Author of M/M Romance 