Day: August 18, 2023

**Episode 2 of Killian and Elliott! Because of course you knew where this was going. But poor Elliott, he’s been through it. Once again, content warning for mentions of abuse. Enjoy!**

I knew from experience that kindness could not be trusted. There was always an ulterior motive. But it was hard to remember when everyone I’d met in this pack was just so darn…nice. Everly checked in on me frequently, always wearing a smile and speaking in a gentle voice. Killian was never far, and though the first dozen or so times he’d appeared, he’s startled the crap out of me, I was getting used to it now. There was Milo who cooked for the pack and offered me at least a twenty options before settling on something to make. He didn’t seem to understand that I wasn’t picky in the least. And Raina who made sure I had the softest clothes and warmest blankets. And Bob who was grizzled and cranky, but sat with me in silence, never expecting me to say a word.

I’d met so many people, and even though I couldn’t remember all their names yet—it had only been a week—they simple reintroduced themselves and asked after my well being and reassured me, time and again, that anything I needed would be provided.

And no one seemed to mind that I couldn’t make my voice work.

Everly assured me it wasn’t physical. Yes, I’d been strangled at some point but my wolf healing had corrected that after a few days. It was a mental block of some sort, something none of us understood, but even if I wanted to talk, I just couldn’t.

But even though I communicated non-verbally and with the small pad of paper I carried around all the time now, no one seemed upset or frustrated with me. Everyone displayed infinite patience, even though it took time for conversations. Much longer than if I could just make my damn voice work.

I had all the evidence before me that this was a kind and caring pack. Not a single wolf sported bruises, everyone was well fed, and projected an air of happy. There was no oppressive weight of fear bearing down, suffocating and constricting. But even though it seemed clear this was actually a good pack—I’d heard they existed—I still couldn’t quite believe it. I was still stuck in fight or flight. Mostly flight. I wasn’t any kind of fighter.

That had been beaten out of me long ago.

Killian appeared in the doorway, as he did, but this time I’d heard him coming. I was pretty sure it was on purpose, because of course he hadn’t missed the way I reacted to him. He gave me a smile and stayed on the other side of the room, making sure there was plenty of distance between us like he always did. At first, I’d thought that it was because he couldn’t stand to be near me, but now I wondered if that was something else.

“Hi.”

I waved.

“You doing all right?”

I nodded and involuntarily hunched down a little, burrowing a little tighter into the fuzzy blanket I currently had wrapped around me. It was safe and warm. But I also readjusted it so that I could get my feet free in an instant if I needed to.

That, too, was not missed by Killian.

“You up for a little conversation?”

I shrugged one shoulder, eyeing him warily as he sauntered into the room. He kept his movements slow and easy, telegraphing his intent to sit on the other end of the huge sectional couch. There was still plenty of space between us so I didn’t feel crowded.

Once he was settled, never taking his gaze off me, he let out a tiny sigh, then rubbed a hand over his face. I studied him, trying to parse out his emotions. Usually, I was a good judge at reading the room and being able to adjust my own reactions accordingly. It was harder with Killian because I wanted to trust him and his intent, but I knew better.

“I’m going to start by saying,” he began, his voice gentle, “that you have a place here no matter what, okay? We’re here to help you and keep you safe. We want you well and healthy and whole. I swear to the goddess.”

I eyed him, still wary, but otherwise didn’t react.

“You were in quite a state when we found you at the edge of our territory. Malnourished and horribly abused. It was touch and go there for a bit. Elliott, what were you running from?”

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I pulled the blanket tighter around my shoulders and slid my feet out from under me.

“Right,” Killian muttered to himself. “Okay, lets try this again. Were you running from your old pack?”

I nodded, slowly and just once, wide eyes never leaving the alpha.

“Did you alpha know this was going on?”

This time my nod was tiny.

The rage that filled Killian’s expression was terrifying, and his voice was guttural when he asked, “Did he do this?”

I started to shake, but at the same time was frozen, unable to move. Suddenly Killian was there, kneeling in front of me, and the only reason I didn’t make a noise was because I knew better. But unlike my previous experiences, Killian didn’t raise a hand or get in my face or scream and yell.

“Elliott, you need to breathe.” His voice was so gentle, so caring, and that was somehow even scarier than if he’d yelled. I knew what to do when someone was yelling. But this what uncharted territory. “Come on, breathe. You’re okay. You’re safe. I swear to you. Breathe.”

Killian suddenly blew in my face, and I involuntarily gasped. Only when it started to recede did I realize the edges of my vision had been going dark. I sucked in another breath, and Killian smiled.

“That’s better. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. My anger was in no way directed at you. I’ll be more careful. But the thought of an alpha abusing their power just because they can makes me rage. Will you tell me who they are so I can take care of it?”

Panic welled up, but this time in fear for Killian’s safety. I didn’t understand the reaction, but I threw out a hand and gripped his forearm, desperate for him not to move, to not go after the alpha who had abused us so.

Killian went still under my touch, then slowly and carefully, set his hand over mine. He squeezed gently, and though I felt all his strength, I knew I could pull away at any moment and he would let me.

“Okay. Okay. We’ll work on that. Let’s just sit here and breathe, okay?”

I nodded, unconsciously matching my breaths to his. And it wasn’t until quite a while later, when I was once again alone, that I realized I’d been more scared for Killian than of him. And that I touched him, and he me, and nothing bad had happened. There was something about the alpha that called to me, made me feel safe.

My head still didn’t trust it. But my heart was another matter.