Day: August 11, 2023

**After a few week break, we’re back at it. For those interested, the new job is going well! I don’t dread going to work every day. There’s some usual office politics, but for the most part, the work is good, the people are good, and my team lead is of the mindset that humans make mistakes and there aren’t any mistakes that can’t be fixed. It’s refreshing. For the first time in the better part of two decades, I don’t mind my job! But now that I’m settled in and finding a new normal, here’s some story for you. Probably a multiple parter again. Content warning for mentions of abuse. Enjoy!**

Run. RUN. RUN!!

I had to keep moving. I couldn’t stop. If I stopped, they would catch me and that would mean my death. Exhaustion swamped through me, my legs giving out. I had no idea how long or how far I’d run. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t far enough. I pushed myself to my paws and kept moving.

Each step felt like a mile, my body giving out. Every time I stumbled, I got up again, but it took longer and long to find my feet. To get my body to move. My fur was matted with sweat and muck, my paw pads scraped and bruised. Everything hurt. My muscles cramped and seized, too long without nutrition.

I collapsed and I knew, this time, I wasn’t getting up again. My last thought, as the darkness came for me, was at least I’d be dead by the time they found me.

<><><><> 

Low murmurs penetrated the fog in my head, bringing me back to awareness. I couldn’t make out the words, or even who was speaking, but it was the first thing I noticed. The second was the soft sheets and comfortable bed. I couldn’t seem to move my body, and sleep threatened to take me under again. So I just breathed and tried to figure out what was going on.

“There you are,” a melodic voice coaxed gently. “Take your time. You’ve been out of it for two days. We’ve been doing our best to help, but recovery is hard work.”

“Everly, step back. We don’t know—”

“He’s fine.” That melodic voice came closer instead of moving away as the harsher voice instructed. “Aren’t you? You’re not going to hurt anyone. I know it.”

I wasn’t. I would never. That was part of the reason I’d ended up in this situation to begin with. Not that I knew what was going on now. Just that this voice was not one I recognized, and it was actually speaking to me with kindness. Gentleness. That wasn’t something I’d had in a very long time.

I manage to get one eye open, but immediately slammed my lid closed again, the bright light stabbing straight through to my retina. I bit back the whimper that wanted to escaped. I’d learned very young that making distressed noises were a good way to get hit.

“Killian, dim the lights please,” Everly commanded sweetly, and even though my eyes were closed, I could tell when it was done. It took me another minute or so before I could pry first one, then the other, eye open.

My body still wasn’t cooperating, and the fact that I couldn’t move made me panic. My breathing sawed in and out as I desperately tried to get my limbs to work. If I couldn’t move, then I couldn’t protect myself. Not that I was that good at it, but it was better than getting beaten without fighting back.

“Hey, hey. You’re okay.” Everly was suddenly in my line of view, her pink hair a curly fluff around her face. Her eyes were warm and concerned, and while she kept her distance, she didn’t seem afraid. I focused on her face, willing myself to calm. If I could do that, then I could figure out how to get free.

Everly smiled, showing off white teeth and one canine that was a little pointier than the rest. “I promise. You’re okay and we aren’t going to hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not after I did so much to patch you up. You were in a right state, do you know that?”

I didn’t answer her. I couldn’t. It was better to stay quiet, to not speak, so my words couldn’t be used against me in the future. I’d learned that lesson young as well. Everly didn’t seem to mind, though, as she kept talking.

“We found you two days ago.” She paused and looked at her watch. “Almost three days now. You were near death, so we brought you immediately back. Can you tell us what happened to you?”

I didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Barely even blinked. After a long few minutes of silence, Everly smiled, but this time it was sad. “Well, it doesn’t matter. Not right now anyway. You’re safe now and we’ll get you feeling all better. I’m going to pop down to the kitchen and get you some broth to sip on now that you’re awake.”

She stood and panic ripped through me at the thought of her leaving. She was the first person who treated me with any kindness in years and even thought I didn’t trust the motivation behind it—conditioning was a powerful thing—I thought I was safer with her around. If she left, there was no telling what would happen.

“It’s all right.” Everly soothed, and even went so far as to smooth some of my hair back from my forehead. I flinched when she reached for me, but she wasn’t deterred. The touch felt nice. I didn’t trust it, but I craved it. I was so starved for touch. “I’ll be right back, I promise. And Killian is going to stay right here and watch over you until I return. Be nice, Kill.”

With that, she left and I turned my head to watch her leave. The panic hadn’t subsided despite her words and in only increased when the big man who must be Killian came closer. But he didn’t yell or hit or hurt. He sat in the chair Everly vacated and offered me a smile.

“I’m Killian, the alpha of this pack. I swear to the goddess, I will protect you now that you’re here.”

There was power in the words. The vow. I felt it deep in my bones, and for the first time in more than a decade I relaxed. Just a tiny bit, just enough to unclench. But I still eyed the alpha warily. He was pretty, there was no doubt about that. With dark hair and dark eyes, and cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass. But I didn’t let that show. I knew better.

“I don’t recognize you, so that means you aren’t from a local pack. Which means you had to come from a distance.” He squinted at me, assessing. “Just how far did you travel to make it to my territory?”

I opened my mouth to tell him I didn’t know, but nothing came out. It was as though my voice was trapped, because even though I wanted to answer him—he was the alpha after all—it didn’t work. I couldn’t speak. I lifted my hands and held them far apart.

“A long way, huh?” Killian relaxed back into the chair, his gaze never leaving me, seemingly unconcerned by the way the chair creaked. “What’s your name?”

I managed a squeak that time, but nothing else. Had I suffered some kind of damage to my throat or vocal chords? I didn’t think so, but I couldn’t remember all that had happened before I escaped. That was probably a good thing. All I knew in that moment though was that my voice didn’t work, and if I couldn’t answer a direct question from the alpha, I was in for a world of hurt.

Before I could hunch in on myself, the alpha’s expression softened. “Do you think you could write it down for me?”

I nodded, because he seemed understanding. He stood and turned, striding across the room, but a moment later he was back with pen and a small pad of paper. I took them when he handed them over, and my hand shook as I tried to hold the pen. I snuck a glance at the alpha, but he didn’t seem upset at my slowness. Even still, I wrote, the letters a little wobbly. It had been a long time since I’d written this name, and longer still since someone had used it. But I gave him the nae I’d been before I was five, the last time anyone had treated me with anything but ill intent.

The alpha peered at the paper when I turned it, then he smiled again. “Elliott. Welcome to the pack. We’ll take care of you.”

I didn’t believe it, but I nodded anyway and then closed my eyes. Once I had my strength back, I could run again.

A life alone was no life for a wolf shifter. But it was better than abuse. And I was never going to be in that position again.